Prom Makes A Difference
by KateToast
Summary: What if Chip hadn't shown up at all, and Ross had taken Rachel to the prom? The lives of Ross, Rachel, Monica, and Chandler following this one altered event. WIP.
1. Prologue

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Friends.

**A/N:** Here it is. My long-awaited (well, for me) college years fic that I've been semi-writing since last August. I'm wicked excited to be uploading this; I just hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it. It's a "what if" story, obviously. I'm going to be using some of the storylines that happened on the show, except a lot of them will be happening earlier than before Friends even began, and the reactions/repercussions to some things will be different. Sadly, Phoebe and Joey don't make appearances until much later in the story. This is going to be a long one.

What if Chip hadn't shown up, and Ross had taken Rachel to her senior prom? The one event changes (nearly) everything...

**The One Where Prom Makes A Difference**

_Prologue _

**XXX**

Rachel dabbed at her eyes with a tissue in the middle of the Geller's living room. "I can't go to my own prom without a date, I can't, it's too lame," she said miserably as Monica Geller placed a comforting hand on her best friend's shoulder.

Ross Geller looked over at his sister comforting his eternal crush. He wondered how _anyone_ could stand up Rachel Green. He sighed and went back to his keyboard.

"I have a wonderful idea," Judy Geller started in as she made her way over to her son. "You should take Rachel to the prom." His father agreed.

After little dispute, Ross rushed upstairs to change into his dad's tux. As he shook water from the flowers he had taken from a vase, Jack exclaimed, "Rachel, ready or not, here comes your knight in shining armor!"

Both Rachel and Monica turned at this. Monica's date was muttering something about kicking someone's ass. Ross stood there for a moment, then remembered what he was doing and walked over to Rachel, handing her the flowers. She took them slowly.

"Uh, I'll, uh, escort you. If you want," he added quickly.

Rachel looked from the flowers she had just been presented, to the dorky- but sweet- college man who was offering to take her to a high school prom. Normally, she wouldn't give her best friend's older brother the time of day, but he seemed so sincere, and she really did want to go… and knowing her (soon to be ex) boyfriend, Chip wasn't going to show up.

"Okay," was all Rachel could think of to say, wondering why she had never noticed how kind Ross really was.

Hiding his smile that was threatening to show as best he could, Ross left with the three others.

"C'mon, the limo is here already!" Monica shouted as she raced to the door.

**XXX**

"Thanks for walking me home," Rachel said as she and Ross walked side-by-side down the street.

"Oh, it's no problem. I just can't believe our time with the limo was up right at our street corner. _And_ that he made us get out." Ross rolled his eyes.

They neared the Green mansion, as people in the neighborhood called it, since it was so large. Ross felt the all-too familiar flip-flop in his stomach as he and Rachel brushed sides. It had been happening all night, specifically when they had been dancing. He was still slightly in shock that she had even agreed to dance with him at all.

"Well, this is it," Rachel said as they reached her door. She looked up at him. "This was really nice, Ross. Thank you for bringing me." _And for helping me not become a laughing-stock for having my boyfriend bail_, was the unspoken addition.

The way she said his name made Ross' heart beat double-time. "I had fun. And I couldn't let you go to the prom alone. That Chip guy is stupid for not showing," he said, feeling very high and mighty at the moment.

"Well, thanks for helping me hold it together when I found out he cheated on me. It was expected, but still, I should've broken up with him a long time ago." Rachel half-smiled, and watched Ross closely for a minute, as if debating something internal. Finally, the other side of her mouth turned up also. "I guess I've always just seen you as Monica's older brother. But… we should hang out sometime."

"Yeah, that'd be great. Y'know, before we both go off to college," Ross said as smoothly as possible, despite wanting to jump up and down like a little kid.

Not really wanting to say goodbye yet, and confused by this feeling, Rachel added, "Funny how Monica and I are both going to NYU, huh?"

"It's a great school." Ross had nearly forgotten the girl of his dreams and his little sister were going to be attending the same school as him in a few months.

The lights suddenly flashed on around them. Rachel looked to the door. "Someone must've heard us. Thanks again, Ross." And then she did something Ross never thought she would.

She kissed him on the cheek.

**XXX**

**A/N II**: So, like? Dislike? Think I should burn in hell for even uploading the prologue? Let me know. (Also: Totally cliche of me to have Ross, Chandler, Monica and Rachel all go to the same college, I know, but it worked for the story.)


	2. Beginning

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends.

**A/N**: Thanks for the positive feedback. I feel better continuing the story, knowing that you guys actually like it.

**XXX**

_Two Years Later..._

"Why does it seem like we have more stuff now than we did when we moved in? Where did we get it all?" Chandler Bing huffed over at his best friend and roommate.

Ross looked around at the boxes and furniture the two were moving out of the dorm. "Because we _do_ have more stuff from who-knows-where. That stupid chair you got is humongous, too."

"Hey," Chandler looked at his ugly, lime-green armchair. "It might hear you, man."

Lifting another large box to bring to his car, Ross glanced down the hall at the other students packing up and heading home for summer vacation. He did a double-take when he spotted Monica and Rachel.

Monica had lost nearly all the extra weight she had had over the summer before college, for reasons unknown to him. And Rachel…

After taking her to the prom, Ross had found himself in the company of Rachel often, and had been glad the day he finally felt comfortable around her. Not that he didn't do his fair share of palm-sweating and fumbling over words when she was near. Despite how he felt, the two still grew closer as friends. He'd even talked Rachel out of joining a sorority. He also couldn't deny how the nose job she had gotten done the fall she started college had made her even _more_ beautiful, if that was possible.

The two girls waved. Ross almost waved back, then realized he was carrying a large box and settled with sending them a nod. In return, he got a dazzling smile from Rachel.

"Ross!" someone called out at the other end of the hallway.

Turning, Ross spotted the reason that immediately made him feel guilty of thinking anything more than platonic thoughts involving Rachel.

"Hey, Carol," he said, almost weakly.

It wasn't that she was a bad girlfriend; in fact, she was quite the opposite. She was smart and kind and played sports, not to mention she was the only person he'd, well, _been with_…

The problem was, she wasn't Rachel. He had hoped that dating Carol would help him get over the girl he'd liked since high school. _Still waiting for that_, Ross thought darkly.

Carol smiled and gave her boyfriend a quick kiss as Monica and Rachel reached them.

"Ew, I don't want to see my brother and his girlfriend kiss," Monica teased, ruffling Ross's hair. His curls had been disappearing gradually over the past two years, and he was pleased now to be able to spike up the front.

Chandler walked out of the room, stroking his goatee, which he had just grown recently. "Ah, the cavalry hath arrived! We've got _plenty _of stuff for you girls to help us move."

Nodding, Monica followed Chandler inside. "Just don't get in my way and I'll have you ready to go in no time."

"As long as you don't sort my shirts by color again," he shot back, earning him a playful shove from Monica.

Ross glanced between his sister and best friend. They were even more flirty with each other as of late. He wondered what was going on there. A look from Rachel confirmed his suspicions that she questioned the same thing. Carol was oblivious.

"Lemmi take this," she said as she took the heavy box from Ross and went to put it in the car.

Wanting to break the silence that was settling around he and Rachel, Ross asked, "So how'd you and Mon finish packing so fast?"

"We got a bunch of the girls to help us. And Joshua came."

_Ah, Joshua_. Rachel's current boyfriend, much to Ross's chagrin. "Oh, yeah? How is, uh, _Joshua_?" He tried not to sneer out the name, all the while knowing he shouldn't be jealous.

"Okay. I'm breaking up with him later."

Trying to feign sympathy, Ross placed a hand on her shoulder. "Things not going well for you two?"

Sighing, Rachel leaned against the wall beside Ross and Chandler's doorway and folded her arms over her chest. "I dunno. He's great, but not what I'm looking for. Plus, it's summer, and he lives in Maine, and my parents…"

She didn't need to say anymore. Ross inwardly groaned at the mention of her parents. They'd been fighting more-so than usual lately, and it had really been taking a toll on their oldest daughter. Even her self-absorbed sisters had taken notice. Plus, Dr. Green hadn't liked him since he thought he caught Rachel and Ross making out in the Green's living room, when really Ross had been teasing her about her issue with eyes, and they had gotten a bit too close at the wrong time.

Before he could say anything comforting, Carol reappeared. Ross quickly removed his hand from Rachel's shoulder. Rachel excused herself and entered the dorm, where Monica was organizing Chandler's socks.

"You okay?" Carol asked, noticing the slightly distressed look on Ross' face.

Snapping back, he nodded a bit too enthusiastically. "Fine, perfect, just great." He punctured the statement with a thumbs up.

"Alright, well, I gotta go, but I'll see you next weekend," she said, not sounding entirely sure.

"Yup," Ross agreed. "Have a good drive home."

They kissed once more. As she left, Ross stole a glance into his room, where Rachel was currently sitting on his bed, laughing at a joke Chandler had said.

_Help me_, Ross begged to anyone who could hear him from his mind.

**XXX**

Rachel flicked her light on, and collapsed on her bed the moment she entered her room. A few boxes were still outside in the hallway, but she didn't have the energy to carry them in now.

Covering her eyes with an arm, she tried to block out the dulled voices coming from downstairs. Her parents were already arguing, and she had only been home for forty-five minutes.

Not for the first time, Rachel wished she was down the street, at the Geller's, which seemed more like home with each passing year than the Green's house. There, she was accepted and loved and taught things, unlike in her home, where her mother or father would just give her some cash to spend, like it would make up for the fact that they weren't spending time with her. Over time, the Geller family had helped change Rachel from the spoiled girl she had grown up being, to the young woman she was now.

As she drifted off to sleep, there was a knock on her door.

"Come in," Rachel said groggily, not bothering to move.

"Hey Rach, just wanted to ask if I could borrow that cute pink shirt of yours," came the voice of her younger sister, Jill. "Since it's been in your dorm room since like, last fall, I haven't been able to get it."

Sitting up, Rachel looked at her sibling. "Hey Jill, nice to see you, too. Thanks for making my homecoming so welcoming." She had meant to sound more sarcastic and less annoyed, but the latter had won.

"Uh, right. Welcome home. Now, can I borrow the shirt? I'm leaving soon."

"Where are you going?"

"A bunch of us are going on a little road trip, then I'm going to Grandma's to spend the rest of the time with her and Amy. And Rob. Mom and Daddy said it was okay."

_Rob_, Rachel thought, trying to place him. She then remembered that he was one of the many guys Jill had dated last summer.

"It's over there," Rachel waved to a general area where the shirt was located. She knew she probably would never see that particular garment ever again.

"Thanks." Jill found the shirt. "Alright, see you in July." And with that the middle Green daughter was gone.

Having graduated two weeks earlier, Jill was done with school and planning to attend a small college upstate, whose name escaped Rachel at the moment. Amy's junior year in high school had ended earlier than normal this year, and she had jumped at the chance to spend almost two months at their grandmother's, who lived on the water and was surrounded by cute guys for neighbors. All three sisters were happy to get out of the house whenever possible, if it meant avoiding their parents' spats.

Utterly bored- and entirely depressed- now, Rachel began moving boxes into her room. Her thoughts drifted to Joshua.

Breaking up with someone was tough, but it was harder to not have anyone to talk to. It wasn't like she had _loved_ him, but he had still been her boyfriend for five months. She still wanted _someone_ to talk to about it. Also, Rachel wanted to analyze why this kept happening. She'd meet a perfectly nice guy, then dump him after a few months without a real reason.

Setting down the final box, Rachel made a quick decision and left her room, going down the staircase. Things were silent; one of her parents must've left.

Reaching the first floor, she spotted her mother sitting at the large dining room table with her head in her hands. The dog, La Poo, was lying at Sandra's feet. Rachel made a hasty exit, immediately heading to the car she had received for her 18th birthday from her father. Hopping in, she drove only a street away, then stopped.

Looking at the Geller's house, she nodded to herself. _Welcome home, Rach_.

**XXX**

Monica ran to open the door as the doorbell rang out through the house. Pushing past Ross, who was also going to retrieve whoever was at the door, she plastered a wide smile on her face, which fell slightly when she opened it to find Rachel, and not her brother's best friend.

"Hey Rach, what's wrong?" Monica had learned over years of friendship with this girl that her small grin wasn't real.

"Oh, you know, I just… couldn't _stay _there anymore. Jill and Amy are gone, and my parent's are… being themselves."

By now Ross had recovered from Monica's tackle, and joined the two girls in the doorway.

"Well, you know you're always welcomed here. My mom likes you better than me anyways," Monica chuckled, trying to lighten the mood.

"So… are you guys gonna just stand in the doorway?" Ross looked between them.

After a few small laughs, Monica led Rachel into the living room, Ross trailing behind. The three sat in silence, until finally Rachel broke it, a bit hysterically.

"I'm _so_ sorry to just come here, you two probably have _tons_ to do, and I was only thinking of _myself_, which I've been trying to get better at, and I'm sorry, I just didn't know where to _go_-"

Monica jumped up from her seat to hug Rachel as the doorbell rang. "You know we don't mind, Rach. We love you. You can hang out with us tonight."

As Rachel cried on her shoulder, Monica glanced at Ross. He was watching uncomfortably from his spot in an armchair. The way he was looking at Rachel, however, made Monica think that maybe he wasn't as over their mutual friend as she thought.

The doorbell rang again impatiently.

"Oh! Chandler!" Ross yelped as he jumped up to let his best friend in.

Monica smoothed her hair unconsciously after Rachel had let go of her to wipe her eyes. Yet she still noticed Monica's sudden odd behavior.

"Mon…," Rachel began.

"Yeah?"

"Do you still like Chandler?"

Shaking her head in the negative firmly, Rachel noted her widened eyes. She shot back an accusing look.

"Maybe… just a little," Monica admitted, defeated.

"I knew it!"

"Knew what?" came a voice.

Both girls looked up to see that Ross had re-entered, this time with Chandler.

"Knew… that…," Rachel started lamely.

"She knew that… trees weren't _purple_." Monica patted Rachel's arm, smirking at her. "Smart girl, this one."

The two guys stood there, not understanding.

"Right, anyway…," Ross shook his head. "Since Rachel is here, how about all four of us go out together tonight?"

"Sounds good," Monica agreed.

"Where should we go?" Rachel cocked her head to one side, thinking.

"We could just grab some ice cream," Ross shrugged.

Chandler nodded approval. "I haven't eaten ice cream since I saw what my father and the pool boy were doing with it." All four shivered. "Maybe I'll just get some fries."

**XXX**


	3. Cracking

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: Thanks for the encouragement!

**XXX**

"So, how'd the break-up go?" Ross asked as casually as possible as he slid onto the bench across from Rachel. The four had gone to a local ice cream parlor that had picnic tables outside during the summer.

Rachel took the spoon out of her mouth and glanced at her friend. Monica and Chandler were still inside, "arguing" over what was better: a cone or a cup. She knew they were just using it as an excuse to flirt.

"It went okay. He understood." Ross nodded, and Rachel sighed. "I just don't know why I do this. I haven't dated a guy longer than six months since high school! And even then, you know, he was cheating on me."

Remembering that made Ross want to kick Chip's ass. He'd never actually do it, of course, but it was the thought that counted. "Maybe you haven't found the right guy yet. You're only going into junior year of college, you _have_ time," he joked.

"I know," Rachel agreed, taking another bite of her cookie dough ice cream. They were quiet for a few minutes, before Rachel became curious. "So do you think Carol is the right girl for you?"

Ross was thrown off by this question. He'd been dating Carol for so long that it'd just become almost an after-thought, like writing with his right hand, or shaving. He knew being with someone wasn't supposed to be like that.

"I, uh, I don't know," he said honestly. "I mean I'm not thinking of _marriage_ or anything. She's just… my girlfriend."

Rachel tilted her head to the side, and some of her golden hair fell over her eyes. Ross resisted the urge to reach out and tuck the strands back behind her ear.

"So do you not see a future with her?"

Sighing, Ross shrugged. "I, uh, I really don't know." He knew. He'd always unconsciously seen a future with one specific girl, and she just happened to be sitting across from him at that very moment.

"Wow, look at that sunset," Monica commented as she and Chandler exited the ice cream parlor and joined their friends at the picnic table, girls on one side, boys on the other.

Chandler glanced at her. "That's such a _girl_ thing to say." He looked back at the sky. "Oh, wow, the pink-y color is amazing!"

The three others chuckled at him, but Ross was still preoccupied with Rachel's question. Why was he still with Carol if he didn't see a future?

_Because she's a safe bet_, he answered himself. Ross looked across the table to study Rachel.

He wondered if he'd ever work up the nerve to take a chance, or if he'd stay in the same place for the rest of his life.

**XXX**

Monica knew the weekend wasn't going to turn out well the second she opened the Geller's front door to find her brother's girlfriend on the other side Friday afternoon. Especially when she had to tell Carol that she didn't know exactly where Ross was, but that he had said he was going somewhere with Rachel.

Jack and Judy had gone away for a long weekend and left their two children home alone, figuring everything would be fine, since both were in college. They probably hadn't counted on having not only their two kids at home, but also two best friends and one girlfriend.

Feeling as if she must, Monica waited with Carol. Chandler had said he'd return to the Geller's house in early evening with a change of clothes, and Monica had asked Rachel if she wanted to stay with them so the four could play house while Jack and Judy were gone. Ross had somehow forgotten to mention his girlfriend was going to be showing up, also.

"Want something to drink?" Monica offered as she and Carol entered the kitchen.

"Uh, sure," Carol nodded, leaning against a counter. "Did Ross say when he'd be back?"

"Uh, no," Monica replied, glad she was turned away from the other woman.

She stirred the lemonade mix into the water slowly, feeling guilty. Monica knew Carol had always felt slightly jealous of Ross's relationship with Rachel, even though the two had only really become friends right before Ross had started dating Carol. Of course, that might have been the problem.

Pouring the lemonade into a glass, Monica turned back around and handed the beverage to her brother's girlfriend. The two stood in uneasy silence.

The door opened across the house. "Honey, I'm home!" Chandler called.

Monica hid the smile he brought to her face. "In the kitchen!"

"Hey, there's this car outside, and it looks a lot like-" Chandler halted in the doorway, spotting the other person standing in the kitchen. "Well look! It's Ross's girlfriend, Carol!" He shot a confused look to his best friend's sister.

"Yeah, she came to spend the weekend with Ross!" Monica informed him, and she knew he was thinking the same exact thing: _where were Ross and Rachel?_

"Hey, Chandler," Carol said with a small wave. She looked back at Monica. "I'm uh, gonna go put my stuff in Ross's room."

Monica nodded, and Carol quit the room. Chandler shot her a smile, but once she was gone, looked back at his friend. "Spend the weekend? Did we know about this?"

"No," Monica replied, putting the lemonade pitcher in the fridge. "She just showed up half an hour ago. Oh, it was so awkward! And you know how I hate awkwardness!"

"Well, sure, I mean the awkwardness is always just so darn awkward!" Chandler quipped. He became mock-serious. "Does this mean we're not having a fun weekend? Because I used this as an excuse to get out of visiting my father and his newest male lover!"

Monica waved him off. "No, we'll just… include Carol."

Chandler sighed. "I haven't hung out with Carol since the Christmas party last year, and let me tell you, we did _not_ have fun! I almost ate her hand!" At Monica's confused looked, Chandler shrugged. "It's a long and painful story."

"Suck it up," Monica said as she passed him to enter the living room. "And shave off that thing growing on your face, while you're at it!" She may have liked him, but she didn't need to like his _goatee_.

**XXX**

Ross opened the door to his bedroom slowly. It was almost six-thirty; he and Rachel had lost track of time when they went for a drive, and she had insisted that he stop so she could check one or two stores for a specific shirt she was looking for. They had ended up going into _eleven_ stores.

Monica and Chandler had ambushed him when he'd walked in the door, telling him that Carol was there. So now here he was.

"Hey," he said when he spotted her examining a science fair trophy he'd received in junior high.

She looked up. "Hey, Ross." She looked back down at the trophy, not sounding pleased. "You have fun with Rachel?"

He approached slowly. "Well, uh, her parents have been fighting a lot lately, so I suggested we take a drive to clear her head. I didn't realize what time it was."

Carol turned to face him, crossing her arms over her chest. "Ross, what are we doing?"

Ross tried to play dumb. "We're… standing in my bedroom. Alone," he added, trying to ease the tension with some seduction.

She shook her head. "You know what?" Pausing, Carol glanced at him, then averted her eyes. "Never mind."

"Uh… okay," Ross said, confused. "You wanna go downstairs? We're ordering pizza." He extended his hand for hers.

Carol was quiet for a short time, obviously weighing something in her mind. Finally, she took his outstretched hand and followed him downstairs.

"Ah, you've come to join us!" Chandler said as Ross and Carol entered the living room. "We were debating whether you were upstairs doing it or not."

Monica smacked his arm. "No, we weren't, and ew! That's my brother!"

Rachel smiled at Carol, oblivious to what the other woman was feeling towards her at that moment: jealousy. "We're getting cheese, pepperoni, and some Hawaiian thing Mon wants to try."

"It's the closest I'm going to get to the island," Monica defended.

**XXX**

Ross had gotten Carol to sneak back up to his room with him when the other three had drifted off in the living room. They had spent some quality "alone time" together, and now Ross lay beside his girlfriend in his bed in his childhood room. He turned slightly to watch her sleep, since that's what happened in most movies and on TV after people had had sex.

Instead of making up a poem in his head about how beautiful she was when she slept, however, Ross's thoughts drifted to the people downstairs. Well, one person, really.

He'd never watched Rachel sleep before, either (not that he'd ever had the chance), and he wondered if she cuddled up close or stuck to her side, like Carol. He wondered if she sighed a little in her sleep sometimes, or if she dreamed peacefully. He wondered if she hogged the blankets, or was more of a covers-sharing type of girl.

And with those thoughts he knew. He needed to take a chance; leave the safety zone he had been waiting in for over a year. Next to him was the house, but downstairs in the living room was the home.

Rolling over so he was once again facing the ceiling, Ross breathed deeply.

He wished he wasn't such a coward.

**XXX**


	4. Missed

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: These reviews are great! I'm so happy you people are enjoying this! And don't you just love how I've already written a lot of it, so updates are close together? I know it's easier for me. I'm really trying hard to finish up my Rachel fic, but I've decided not to work on it until this weekend, when I can watch the episode and go from there.

**XXX**

Rachel rubbed her eyes as sunlight suddenly blinded her vision. She sat up slowly, wondering where she was. Then she remembered: Monica's living room.

A few feet away, Monica was slumped sideways against a cushion, while Chandler slept soundly in the big armchair. Ross and Carol were suspiciously missing.

The group had been eating pizza and watching a movie, and then Chandler had whipped out a flask filled with… some sort of alcohol, and things had started to get really interesting. Rachel knew she hadn't been drunk, but she had gotten a bit tipsy, and now she had a headache.

Pots and pans were clanking in the kitchen, so Rachel stood slowly to investigate. She stopped outside the door, however, when she heard low voices. Ross and Carol.

"What are you saying, Ross?"

"I'm saying… things are changing. Can you pass me those eggs?"

"Changing? The only thing I see changing around here is you."

Rachel heard sizzling and the scent of bacon wafted through the crevices of the swinging door separating her from them. She'd always been nosy, and this time wasn't any different.

"What does that mean?" Ross sounded indignant.

Footsteps started pacing, then stopped. "I mean _you_, Ross. You and Rachel. I know you two are friends, but you spend so much time together-"

"Are you insinuating that I'm cheating on you?"

Rachel made an annoyed face, and wanted to march in there and tell Carol she wasn't cheating with Ross. She didn't though.

"No, Ross, I'm _insinuating_ that you've had a _thing_ for Rachel for as long as I've known you, and probably longer! I ignored it for as long as I could, but it's just so _glaringly_ obvious! And I think she might like you too."

The nice bacon smell was starting to turn burnt.

"That's-that's…crazy!"

"I can't compete with her, Ross! I mean she's your best friend!"

"Exactly! She's my best _friend-"_

"And I don't even fit into your little group. There isn't any room for me. There never has been."

Rachel thought the silence was deathly, and glanced at Monica and Chandler, who were both still dead to the world. _How can they still be asleep!_

"What are you saying?"

Footsteps taking tentative steps forward. "I'm saying that I'm done trying to fit into your group, Ross." Breathing. "I'm done."

Silence again. Quick steps started though, and Rachel heard them fast approaching. She panicked, and dove onto the couch, nearly kicking Monica in the process. Rachel kept one eye open slightly, and saw Carol rushing up the stairs. Moments later, she returned with a bag slung over her shoulder, but exited through the front door. A car started, and she heard it back out of the driveway.

Rachel waited a few minutes. She didn't want to make it seem as if she heard everything, even though she had. Finally she counted three-hundred-and-sixty Mississippi's, figuring that was a good amount of time.

Ross was standing by the stove, a spatula in one hand and a towel slung over his shoulder. Monica was the cook of the family, but he still could make a few things. He looked up when Rachel entered.

"Carol…uh…," he began. Sure, he'd been planning on breaking up with her, but the fact that it had happened was still a blow to his heart. She'd been the first woman, other than Rachel, whom he'd really let himself love.

Rachel opened her arms slowly and let Ross walk into them. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he let his arms circle her back.

She didn't really know why she felt something like relief in the pit of her stomach.

**XXX**

The rest of the summer passed by quickly. Rachel spent almost every day working in her father's doctors' office, because as boring as it was, it was _something_ to do, plus it gave her some extra cash, since she didn't want to be dependant on her parents _forever_. When she wasn't there, she was with the Gellers. Leo and Sandra kept fighting, her sisters kept flaking, and she was left to herself most of the time.

Monica spent two weeks in the city with her grandmother while she took a cooking class. Rachel, Ross and Chandler all visited her one day, and the four went out to a fancy dinner. She worked at the senior center when she had spare time to earn some money.

Chandler went back and forth between his mother and father's houses, until one day, towards the end of the summer, Charles Bing declared that he was moving to Vegas. Chandler didn't mind that much. He was interning at a nearby company that did data reconfiguration and statistical factoring. No one really ever asked him what that meant, but they all knew it wasn't really something he wanted to do. He made the trip to the Geller's home at least three times a week.

Ross traveled to the city four days a week to help at the museum. He'd been tipped off by a fellow worker that they were considering hiring him after he graduated. He'd bounced back from the break-up with Carol surprisingly well.

"How come you get that side?" Ross asked Chandler as they moved their stuff into their new dorm room towards the end of August. They were seniors now, which meant they got the better rooms of NYU.

"Because," Chandler reasoned, "you took too long at the car."

"It's not my fault Monica insisted I help carry her stuff to her room, which is two blocks down, by the way."

Chandler was about to retort, but stopped when he saw something in the hallway. "Uh… look over here, Ross!" He began waving his arms.

Ross made a "what?" gesture with his hands, then glanced outside their room. Carol was walking down the hallway with another girl.

"I tried to stop you," Chandler said as he came up behind his friend and patted his shoulder.

"No, it's fine," Ross said, going back to emptying his boxes of stuff. "I'm over her."

"Really?" Chandler asked.

Ross nodded. "Yeah, I've got some… prospects."

Chandler scoffed. "You? Prospects? More like you've got your eye on a certain best friend of your sister."

"Puh." Ross rolled his eyes. "…Maybe."

The two went back to their separate sides. Chandler glanced outside the window. "Only two blocks, huh? Interesting."

**XXX**

Rachel smiled up at Ross as they stood outside of her dorm room. They'd gone out for pizza by themselves, since Chandler and Monica were missing. The school year had been in session for a month already, but Rachel still felt like she was on summer vacation.

"So thanks for the pizza," Rachel said, getting out her keys from her purse. "It was fun."

"Yeah," Ross agreed, a step behind her. "We never really hang out, just us, anymore."

"Well you're too busy making sure your best friend doesn't hit on your sister," Rachel teased lightly, opening the door. "You wanna come in?"

Ross shrugged his shoulders. "Sure, it's a Saturday night and I've got nothing better to do. Plus, it's always a good sign if the girl invites you into her dorm room." He waggled his eyebrows jokingly.

"Please, I'm not _that_ easy," Rachel replied. "There has to be a little more than just pizza to seduce me."

"I'll remember that," Ross said, only half-joking. The two stood in the middle of the room, staring at each other, and Ross knew it was one of those moments that could turn into something more.

She broke eye contact first, however, and cleared her throat. "Oh, I have a message," Rachel pointed out, and walked over to the answering machine.

Ross was too busy pouting quietly over another of his missed chances with Rachel to listen to the message.

"You have one new message," the computerized voice told them. "First message: 'Rachel, dear, it's your mother,'" Sandra's voice filled the room, sounding anxious. "'I'm at the hospital. Your father had some sort of heart attack at home. I couldn't get in touch with Jill either, but Amy is here with me. We're not sure of his condition.'"

By now Rachel felt herself shaking. Ross had stood, his eyes wide, and had placed a hand on her shoulder.

"'We're at Emmanuel Hospital. I'm not sure when we'll get home, but call there first, the maid is there.'"

The answering machine beeped. "End of message."

Rachel sat down slowly in a chair by the small table Monica had set up. Ross was at a loss for words. She stood again quickly, grabbing her purse.

"I've gotta, uh, gotta go," Rachel said shakily.

Ross nodded. "I'm going with you."

"No, it's uh, it's okay," she replied, sounding dazed. Her eyes were filling with tears.

"No, Rach, I'm going with you. Plus you shouldn't take a cab alone."

"Yeah, oh-okay," Rachel agreed, not even noticing Ross's bad reasoning.

"I'll leave a note for Mon," he said, already jotting down a few words.

Rachel was at the door. "Ross, what if-"

"Let's go," Ross said firmly, taking her hand and leading her outside.

**XXX**


	5. Feelings

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: I'm just so shocked by all these reviews I'm getting for this story. Whenever I check my e-mail and I find I have a few more, I do a little happy dance, because you all are just too cool.

I'm starting to realize that this story is going to be _long_. Or, the chapters will be pretty big. Joey and Phoebe don't make entrances until much later, and now it sadly seems they're only going to really be in towards the end of the story. I'm trying my hardest to fit some things into the Friends universe, and according to the show, Phoebe and Joey weren't around yet while the other four were in college.

**XXX**

"Rachel!" Amy called, spotting her sister down the hospital hallway. She had been getting some coffee for herself.

"Amy! Oh, how is he?" Rachel asked, panicked. Ross stood beside her.

Amy glanced at Ross. "You look familiar."

"It's _Ross_, Amy," Rachel told her, annoyed at not getting an answer.

Her sister tilted her head slightly. "Oh! Right! The non-boyfriend."

"How _is he_, Amy?" Rachel repeated.

Amy began down the hallway, and Rachel and Ross had no choice but to follow. "I'm not really sure. Mom is talking with a doctor right now, but she's been with him for awhile." She checked her watch. "Well, not gonna get my homework done tonight."

"Oh please, like you'd do it anyways," Rachel said, rolling her eyes as the three sat down in some chairs. "Did you hear from Jill?"

"No, she's probably at a party or something."

"Oh."

They waited for another ten minutes in absolute silence. Ross tapped his fingers against the armrest on the plastic chair he was sitting in, not sure what to say or do. He hadn't been inside of a hospital in years.

"I'm gonna go try to find someone who might know something," Rachel said suddenly, standing up.

Ross almost asked if he could go with her, but decided to let her go alone. Now he was left with the youngest Green girl.

"So," Amy started, sitting up a little straighter. "How old are you?"

"I'm almost twenty-two."

"So like, you can get alcohol legally."

"Uh, yeah."

"That's cool."

Ross couldn't believe how painful this was.

"So are you like, dating my sister or not?"

"I'm not."

"Oh. Why not?"

"Uh, just… because we've never really considered it before I guess."

"Oh." Amy gave him a once-over. "Maybe it's your hair. It looks kind of greasy."

"Thanks, Amy," Ross mumbled, sinking further into the chair.

They were quiet for another eight minutes. Ross checked his watch. He hadn't even realized how late it was.

Rachel appeared beside them. "I couldn't find Mom," she told them, slumping into the chair beside Ross. She rested her head on his shoulder.

Amy watched them with some interest. Ross figured she was so bored that she was actually considering her older sister's love life.

Heels clicked along the floor and all three glanced down the hallway, spotting Sandra coming towards them. She paused in front of the small group. Rachel looked hopeful.

Her look vanished when her mother shook her head solemnly. "There wasn't enough time. They can't do anything."

Ross put his arm around Rachel's shoulders and felt her take a shaky breath. "What? So that's it?"

"Yes," Sandra replied simply, turning away from her daughters and shielding her eyes with a hand.

The whole thing felt so surreal to Ross. He glanced at Amy, who seemed to be processing this information slowly. She sat up and stared straight ahead. Beside him, Rachel kept drawing strained breaths.

She finally buried her face in the sleeve of Ross's jacket, his arm still around her shoulders.

Ross tilted his head back and stared at the ceiling.

**XXX**

Her best friend's father was dead.

Monica glanced around at the many people dressed in black who had attended the funeral. Everyone had gathered back at the Green house following the service. She was now standing with her parents, who both looked morose.

Ross came over to his family, carrying two cups of water. He handed one to his mother, and one to his father.

"Thank you, son," Jack said, placing a hand on Ross's shoulder.

Ross shrugged. "No problem, dad."

Dr. Green had passed away in the hospital the day after he and Rachel had rushed over. That had been three days ago. He and Monica had gone home Sunday night along with Rachel, but the two siblings had gone back to school Monday morning so they didn't miss too much class. They'd returned yesterday afternoon for the wake.

Jill had still been MIA Sunday morning, so Rachel had actually driven to her college to bring her younger sister home. She'd gone with little protest.

Ross spotted Rachel across the room, standing with an older woman who looked to be a relative. She caught his eye and sent him a 'save me' look, so he walked over to them.

He made short conversation with the woman before she took her leave of the young adults. Rachel leaned heavily against Ross's side.

"You okay?" he asked, knowing it was a stupid question but asking anyways.

"Yeah, I guess. I just want this to be over," she answered honestly.

Ross rubbed circles on the small of her back as they stood there. It was another one of those times he longed to be not only her supportive friend, but her loving boyfriend. But, he concluded, now was not the time.

A shorter guy their age with brown hair walked over to them. Rachel stood a little straighter, but kept close to Ross, which he had to admit pleased him somewhat.

"Hey, I'm really sorry for your loss," the young man said, shaking Rachel's hand. "You probably don't remember me."

Rachel took in his appearance. "Um, no, I'm sorry, I don't."

"It's Barry. Barry Farber? We went to camp together. Our parents are friends."

"Oh!" Rachel said, remembering the boy from summer camp who would follow she and her friends around. Her parents had always said he'd end up being her husband one day. Rachel was so glad it hadn't turned out like that. "Right, yeah. Thanks for coming."

"Well, it was only respectful. Your father was a good man, and a good doctor. I'm actually planning on becoming an orthodontist, myself." Barry seemed pleased by this.

Ross watched the man in front of him, uninterested. The only reason he was still standing there was because Rachel was still leaning on him, which meant she needed him.

Barry was still talking. "So I figure, I'll just take over my father's dentist office and make it an orthodontist office. Clever, huh?"

Rachel nodded. "Very," she replied, not caring.

He seemed to finally notice Ross, and extended his hand. Ross shook it quickly. "Barry Farber."

"Ross Geller."

Barry turned back to Rachel. "So maybe you and I could-"

"You know what, I'm sorry, but I have to go check on my younger sisters," Rachel interrupted, longing to get away from this man.

"Right, of course," Barry nodded.

Rachel looked up at Ross. "Thanks," she said quietly. "I'll… well, be around. Send Chandler on over if you see him, I could use his bad humor."

Ross cracked a smile at Rachel's statement. He could see the old her breaking out of the shell she'd built around herself three days prior.

"Alright," he replied, kissing the top of her head. He'd always liked that they could be affectionate. Of course, he just wished the affection were more than just friend-type things.

Barry watched her go, obviously eyeing her little black dress and picturing something in his mind that Ross wanted to drain out.

"So, are you uh, dating Rachel?" Barry asked carefully, setting his gaze back on Ross.

Ross was about to reply the standard 'no', when he thought, if he said yes, would this guy leave Rachel alone?

He chickened out. "Uh, not really." _Not really? What does _that_ mean?_

Barry eyed him. "Uh huh."

"Alright, well, nice to meet you," Ross said, nodding a little and turning. He intercepted Chandler on his path to the drinks.

"What's up?" Chandler asked.

"Rachel's looking for you," Ross replied.

Chandler smirked. "Well, glad to see she's finally realized she _wants_ me."

Ross rolled his eyes. He was about to comment when he noticed something. "Hey, uh, that thing on your face is gone."

"Oh, uh, yeah, I shaved it off," Chandler said, stroking his clean-shaven chin.

"I thought you loved that thing."

"Yeah, well, not… everyone loved it," Chandler shrugged, then disappeared to find Rachel.

"Right…" Ross glanced after him, then shook his head and went to find his sister. He accidentally bumped into Barry. "Oh, uh, sorry," Ross apologized, despite the fact that the shorter man was giving him a glare.

"Yeah, yeah," Barry mumbled, and kept on walking, taking a long gulp of whatever he was drinking.

He walked past Dr. Green's study and saw that the door was open ajar. He was about to close it, when he heard ripping coming from inside. Ross peeked, and saw Sandra Green angrily ripping up some official-looking documents and throwing them in the trash.

_What is _up_ with everyone_? He asked himself of all their weird behaviors.

**XXX**

**A/N II**: For some reason, I had felt the need to kill one of the characters off, so I decided, Rachel's father had that heart attack on the show, so he was the obvious choice. Plus, I could never kill off Jack or Judy, and I need Sandra for a bit of drama later in the story. Who loves forshadowing?


	6. Revealed

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: Ah! These reviews are just too great. I can hardly believe how nice you guys are.

**XXX**

Pretty soon midterms popped up in all of their classes, and Rachel spent more and more time in the dorm studying than anything else. She was still shaken from her father's sudden passing, which no one blamed her for being.

Ross's friends threw a surprise birthday party for him in mid-October, right after his actual birthday. He started going to the museum every Saturday to give some extra help.

Monica and Chandler were both suspiciously missing a lot of the time. Rachel and Ross found out why after Thanksgiving break.

"It's me," Ross called after he had knocked on Monica and Rachel's dorm room door.

"Come on in," Rachel offered, and Ross did so.

She was stringing Christmas lights up along the walls of the room, but seemed to have gotten tangled at one point.

"Can you get me out of here?" Rachel asked with a slight blush.

Ross stifled a laugh. "Uh, yeah, sure." He began untangling her. "So where's Monica?"

"Who knows?"

"Man, she's gone all the time."

Rachel nodded. "Where's Chandler?"

Ross shrugged in response, and finished unwrapping the colorful lights she had gotten herself tangled in.

She sat down on her bed slowly, glancing at Ross. "Hey, uh, Ross," she started.

He looked at her. "Yeah?"

"I have a… hunch, let's call it, about where Monica and Chandler might be."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

They both stopped. Ross looked expectantly at her. "Well?" he finally asked.

Rachel stood and shifted slightly from foot to foot. "Okay, now, don't freak out, but uh, yesterday, I was coming back from taking a shower, and I heard Monica talking to someone in our room, so I stopped outside the door to listen."

Ross wondered what this had to do with Chandler. "Uh huh…"

"And so uh, when I stopped to listen, I heard her talking to a guy…and the guy was Chandler!"

The last part of her statement was said in a rush, and Rachel took a step back.

Ross let his mouth fall open. "What? I thought they only hung out when the four of us were together!"

"I know! They were like, talking about how lucky they are that no one knows about them, especially us, because it might make us feel weird!" Rachel sat down. "Chandler actually said he was afraid you'd kick his ass."

"I _am _goingto kick his ass!" Ross declared, turning to leave.

Rachel jumped up and grabbed his arm to stop him. "No, Ross, you can't just go and try to beat Chandler up. We should confront them."

Ross crossed his arms over his chest. "But… but they're like, sneaking behind our backs!" He gasped. "Chandler said he had a secret girlfriend back home who met up with him outside of school! It's my sister!"

"Lower your voice, Ross."

"It's… gross!"

Rachel rubbed her temple with her hand. "Okay, here's the plan: we're confront them tomorrow. Make sure you've collected yourself by then."

Ross was shaking his head. "Fine," he said, and left in a daze.

His best friend and his sister?

**XXX**

Getting through the next day had been hard. Rachel had almost let it slip four times that she knew about her friend's secret. She'd always been a gossip; it was just something she couldn't stop doing.

Nowadays she had started gossiping even more, trying to keep her thoughts off of her late father. Out of all of his daughters, Rachel had been closest to Leonard. Sure, he'd pushed her to stay in 'their circle', and to join the sorority Kappa Kappa Delta, and to date men who were planning to become doctors. She knew he'd only wanted the best for her. He'd just never seen that what was best for her was being herself.

Monica was reading a book on her bed, and Rachel glanced over from her position at their small table. There was a knock at the door, and she opened it, since she was closer.

"Hey guys," Rachel said as Chandler and Ross entered, trying to be nonchalant. She gave Ross a look when Monica smiled at Chandler.

"Alright, ready for the movie?" Monica asked, placing a bookmark in her spot and getting to her feet.

Rachel knew they'd have to do the confronting now. "Before we leave, we need to talk to you guys," she said, motioning between she and Ross.

Chandler shrugged. "What's up?"

Ross kept standing there, and after a minute of silence, Rachel couldn't take it anymore.

"We know you two are together!" she burst out.

Monica gasped and Chandler's eyes got wide. Ross and Rachel crossed their arms over their chests at the same time.

"Did you tell them, Chandler?" Monica yelled, turning to her not-so-secret boyfriend.

"No!" he insisted, holding up his hands. "I didn't say anything!"

"I heard you two talking," Rachel interjected. She took a step towards them. "Why didn't you tell us?"

Monica glanced away from them, letting Chandler answer. "It just… happened, and we didn't think it was time to tell people. Since your dad…" He trailed off, and Rachel sighed. "Don't be mad."

Ross looked between his sister and best friend. "So are you two like, really dating? Or are you just fooling around? Because if you're just fooling around, then-"

"We're really dating," Monica cut in. "We were gonna tell you, we just didn't want anything to get weird. I mean, the four of us are so close, and now that Chandler and I are going out, we wouldn't be just four _friends_ anymore."

Chandler took a step towards his best friend. "Are you okay?"

Ross considered. "As long as you don't hurt her, I won't kick your ass," he said, all seriousness.

"I'm not planning to," Chandler promised.

The foursome let those words sink in as they all stood in silence.

Rachel looked at the other three. "So now that this is out in the open, what do we do?"

No one had an answer.

**XXX**

Christmas came and went, as did the awkwardness that had settled amongst the small group of friends. Ross finally came to an understanding that his best friend really cared for his little sister, and visa versa. January of 1991 rang in, full of new possibilities.

Their newfound relationship also threw Rachel and Ross together even more than before, which was fine by both of them. Each enjoyed the other's company.

"Oooh! I wanna go in here!" Rachel declared as she and Ross walked along the New York City streets. She was paused in front of a store with the cutest purse she had ever seen sitting in the window.

Ross groaned. "Rach, it's dark, and it's cold, and it's supposed to snow, and I'm hungry," he whined.

Rachel had to give him the dark one. It was only five-twenty and already the sun was almost completely gone.

"Fine," she said, and the two resumed their walk.

"So why didn't Monica and Chandler want to get something to eat with us?" Ross asked, spotting the first few snowflakes.

"Some sort of anniversary," Rachel answered. She watched the snow as they slowed their steps down slightly. "They look really good together."

"I guess so," Ross nodded, not really wanting to think of his baby sister in that way. He had to admit she seemed happy, though.

Rachel sighed and stuck her hands into her jacket pockets. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"Sure."

"I'm kind of jealous of them."

Ross did a double-take. "What? You-you want to date _Chandler_?" he questioned, his voice rising an octave.

Rachel laughed and waved it off. "No! God, no. But I mean, I haven't dated a guy since Joshua last spring. I just sort of… want to be with someone, you know?"

He knew what she meant. "Yeah."

They were silent for a moment, still walking. Rachel didn't even know where they were going anymore. "I know I'm still young and everything, but sometimes I wonder if I'm going to be as happy with someone someday as they are now. Look at my parents: sure, they got married and had kids and a nice house and a nice life, but I wonder…"

She trailed off in thought, and Ross glanced at her. "Wonder what?" he prodded.

"I just wonder if they ever really loved each other."

Rachel knew it was a horrible thing to think about, but she couldn't help it. Her parents had fought for as long as she could remember, and it had only gotten worse as she and her sisters had grown up. During high school, Rachel had been too self-absorbed to really notice anything, but once she had entered college, things had suddenly become much clearer.

Ross didn't seem to know how to respond, so Rachel saved him the trouble by continuing on. "I don't want to just settle for 'nice'. I want to have… everything. You know? Those feelings you get when you just _know_ that being with that person is going to be great."

"You're gonna get it, and you won't be settling for just 'nice'," Ross said. "There's someone out there who's perfect for you, Rach."

"But what if I don't find him?" Rachel asked, not even meaning to. "What if he's like, _right there_, and I just totally pass him by?" Some snow fell onto her eyelashes, so when she blinked, she saw white.

"Then he'll go after you. He couldn't _not_ notice you."

Rachel knew her cheeks weren't just red-tinged from the cold anymore. "Really?"

"Definitely. He's gonna see you and just think…'whoa'. And then he's going to do anything he can to make you see him, too."

"Like what?"

"Like…taking you somewhere you love, or making a grand gesture of some sort, or maybe just something simple like buying you dinner and giving you good company." Ross cleared his throat, knowing how stupid he sounded.

Rachel smiled a bit and bumped against Ross. She loved the way he said things that made her feel better about her troubles. "Do you believe in soul mates? Or that people have like, other halves?"

Ross scratched the top of his head, which was wet from the snow. "I believe that there's someone out there for everybody, and that you'll find each other eventually. Sometimes it just takes longer than others."

"Thanks, Ross," Rachel said after they had walked in more comfortable silence. The streets weren't too busy, and the number of people outside had decreased since they had left the dorms. The cold had sent most inside.

"For what?"

"I don't know," Rachel replied honestly with a grin. "But all I know is that I feel better, and it's thanks to you."

Ross felt himself blush. "I'm just tellin' it like it is," he said. They passed a pizza place, and Ross halted. "Wanna just grab something here?"

"Sure," Rachel agreed, "Monica and Chandler probably want some 'alone time' anyways." She chuckled.

Not looking amused, Ross cringed. "Okay, I'm happy for them, but let's not discuss _that_ aspect of their relationship, alright?"

"Okay," Rachel laughed out, thinking his embarrassment was cute.

They spent the next forty-five minutes talking and laughing about anything and everything, and when the bill came, he paid her half.

As Ross opened the door for her and they exited into the bustling winter wonderland, Rachel wondered if it was just an accident that his hand gently brushed hers.

**XXX**


	7. Realizations

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: Wonderful reviews! I get all giddy when I see I have a few waiting in my inbox :)

About the ages with the Green girls (ha, "However you say it, it still sounds like you're talking about green people,"-Ross. I obviously watch too much Friends if I know that off the top of my head.), um, anyway, I'm almost certain Rachel is the oldest, but now I'm realizing that I think Jill is the youngest. But in this story, she's the middle. What's done is done, though. I hope I didn't confuse any of you.

Also, all of my focus is going into this story now, since I've finished all the other works in progress! Except, I do have a new idea for another Friends fic... but it can wait.

**XXX**

Winter melted into spring, life went on, and soon Ross found himself preparing for graduation.

After their little chat walking to the pizza place months before, Rachel had tried dating a few times, but each guy had been a bust. Ross had only gone out twice, and both times it had really only been for the hell of going on a date. Chandler and Monica were glad to have their relationship out in the open, and with each passing day Ross found his sister and best friend falling even more in love with each other.

Ross' grandmother had informed them of an apartment that was empty across the hall from hers, and with help from Nana and Jack and Judy, he and Chandler had bought the apartment, and planned to move in a few days after they left NYU.

Graduation was a day away. Ross could hardly believe the fact as he and Chandler tried on their gowns, modeling them for the girls.

"Is it weird that I find that gown really sexy?" Monica whispered to Rachel as the two sat on Ross's bed. Neither were moving out for another two days.

Rachel just chuckled and rolled her eyes. "So are you guys nervous?" she asked of the men, who were practicing moving their tassels from one side to the other.

Ross shrugged. "Not really. I've been ready to graduate for months."

"Then how come just last week you were bawling over the fact that you'd never be coming back ever again?" Chandler questioned with a smirk.

Glaring at his best friend, Ross waved it off to the girls. "Whatever," he dismissed. There was a knock at the door, and Monica stood to open it.

"Ross!" Judy gushed as she entered the dorm room with her husband, completely bowling over her daughter. She hugged her son tightly. "I can't believe you're graduating from college _tomorrow_."

"Yes, son, this is such a big event," Jack nodded, clapping a hand on Ross's shoulder.

"Hey Mom, Dad," Monica said, still standing by the door.

The two Gellers finally noticed the other three people in the room. Judy nodded to each in turn. "Chandler, Rachel, Monica."

Monica approached and got an unenthusiastic kiss on the cheek. The young woman just rolled her eyes at Rachel.

"We're on our way to Nana's," Jack informed the kids. They were staying overnight in the apartment so they could spend the day with their children.

Ross and Chandler removed their gowns as Jack and Judy praised their son a bit more. Finally, Monica couldn't take it anymore.

"So Chandler and I have to get going," she announced to the room, grabbing her boyfriend's hand. Monica had told her parents a few months prior that she was dating her brother's best friend.

Rachel eyed them, but shrugged it off and waved good-bye. With them gone, she was starting to feel like an intruder in the family, though she'd never be considered one anyway. She suddenly became extremely aware that she was sitting comfortably on their son's bed.

"Rachel, how is your mother?" Judy asked conversationally. "We haven't seen her at the club lately."

"Oh, um, okay," she replied. "She's just been…sorting things out."

Honestly, Rachel had no idea _what_ was going on with her mother. She didn't speak with Sandra that often. She loved her mom, but sometimes spending more than three hours with her could take its toll. She wondered if Sandra missed her husband.

"Actually, mom, Rachel I were gonna get an early dinner," Ross cut in, seeing his friend was uncomfortable. "You guys can come if you want."

Judy's eyes widened slightly, and she looked between her son and his friend for a moment before replying, "No, your father and I need to get settled at Nana's. You two seem to go out together often."

Jack wasn't as subtle as his wife. "Are you dating? Because it's okay if you are. We've always liked you better than his old girlfriend Carol," he confided to Rachel.

Ross spluttered. "We're-we're not dating, Dad." Rachel just blushed.

"Oh," Jack said, sounding a little disappointed.

"Well, we better get going," Judy said, still smiling at the two.

Rachel stood to accept the hug Judy offered. It wasn't anything big; just a motherly hug from someone she'd known for almost her entire life. But still, to Rachel, it meant a lot. Judy embraced her son, also. Jack waved to them both and left to get the car.

The woman looked at them once more, now that Rachel had moved to stand beside Ross. She admired the two. "You'd make a handsome couple," she said as her parting words.

Rachel stood still for what seemed like hours after Judy exited. Ross didn't move either, until finally he let out a chuckle that broke the ice. "Let's go find Monica and Chandler," he said easily, grabbing her jacket for her. "Maybe they'll want to have dinner with us."

He helped her slip into the jacket, and then opened the door for her. Rachel thought about what Judy and Jack had said. These days, any word that concerned she and Ross as a couple confused her even more.

**XXX**

"You really didn't have to pay," Ross repeated for what seemed like the millionth time as they left an upscale restaurant Rachel had insisted on going to.

Rachel just shook her head. "Ross, you are graduating from _college_ tomorrow. This is part of the celebration. Did you think I was actually going to make you _pay_? You need to think about your future now," she said with a smile.

Ross wished to tell her he wanted a future with her, but, alas, he didn't. Instead, he replied, "Alright. But you know next year when you're graduating I'm going to return the favor and take _you_ out. In fact, since your birthday is only a week away, I'm going to take you out then."

Bumping against him with a smile, Rachel shrugged in response. She was excited; she was turning twenty-one. Monica had told her to keep her calendar open for the upcoming weekend; she had a slightly-early birthday surprise for her friend.

She waited a beat, her mind drifting to what Ross's parents had been talking about earlier in the dorm. "Ross?"

"Yeah?"

"Why do you think your parents thought we were dating?"

Ross was caught off-guard, not expecting this question. "Uh, I, uh, I don't know," he stuttered out. "You know how it is; a guy and a girl are friends and everyone thinks it's more."

"Monica and Chandler started out as friends."

Rachel didn't know why she pointed that out. In fact, she had no idea why she was even asking him these questions. What answer was she searching for? She didn't even know. But for some reason, she was sick of skirting around this issue. Every time someone mentioned them as a couple, she or Ross would laugh it off.

Her father had always been wary of the young man.

They spent _a lot _of time together.

Carol had broken up with Ross because she was jealous of Rachel.

One of her dates had picked her up at her dorm room, and Ross had been there, getting ready to leave after stopping in to pick something up he'd left. The guy had been immediately jealous of Ross.

But why? Had they been flirting? Rachel knew she was a flirt, and sometimes she felt she was especially like that with her best friend's brother.

Once in awhile, she wanted to be able to float out of her body so she could actually watch them for a time.

Rachel was done laughing, and she had a feeling Ross was getting tired of it too.

Ross seemed to be considering how to phrase his next question. "Do you think we're like Monica and Chandler?"

Breathing deeply, Rachel realized they had stopped walking, and the late-spring breeze passing by them made her hair fly one way. Ross was staring at her. She wondered why it was warmer than it should be.

"I-I don't know. Maybe…we are?"

Ross was about to reply, his face a mixture of hope and cowardice, when a voice called out, "Ross!"

The whole moment broken, he turned and squinted down the darkening street. Rachel followed his gaze. Carol came into view.

Of course.

Rachel felt like she couldn't breathe. She was starting to understand just what exactly she was feeling for her friend- a feeling that had just hit her like a ton of bricks- and before they could say anything, his ex-girlfriend shows up. Just her luck. She needed to get out of there; she couldn't see Carol right now.

"I'm gonna go, uh, in there," she waved vaguely to a coffee shop a few stores ahead. Ross nodded, watching her with a look she couldn't decipher.

She left quickly. Ross looked after her, not sure what just happened. Had Rachel just almost told him that she liked him?

"Ross!" Carol called again. She was walking with a few friends, but waved them on. She stopped in front of her ex-boyfriend.

Ross hadn't seen her in months. Ironic she showed up right at the moment his life could've changed forever.

"Hey, Carol," he greeted slowly, putting a smile on his face for her benefit.

"How've you been?" she asked kindly.

He shrugged. "Okay. You?"

"Kind of nervous about tomorrow," she confided. "Are you walking alone?"

Ross almost told her no, he was walking with the girl of his dreams who was a minute away from telling him something that was going to probably make him the happiest man in the world. Instead, he just said, "Uh, I'm just meeting someone in the, uh, coffee shop."

"Oh." She looked around nervously. "Can we talk for a minute?"

"Uh, sure," Ross said. He didn't want Rachel to think he'd abandoned her in favor of his former girlfriend, but he also didn't want to be rude to Carol.

She led him to a bench and they sat down, the sun making it's way to the west. "Listen, Ross," Carol began, not able to meet his eyes. "Last summer…"

When she didn't continue, Ross prodded, "We broke up?"

"Yeah," Carol said, now raising her eyes to his. "Last summer we broke up, but I think I was a little too hasty in my decision."

Ross' eyes grew twice their normal size. He had an idea of where this was going.

"I was feeling insecure, I guess. But we've spent so long apart, I've come to find that I've missed you. A lot." Carol placed her hand on his arm. "I was thinking maybe we could-"

"Look, Carol," Ross cut in, "I missed you too. But I've…I've moved on." He didn't want to sound like an ass, but he still felt like one. "We've been broken up for a year, and we haven't seen each other in months, and there's just…a lot going on right now."

"You've moved on?" she repeated slowly. "Like…you're dating someone?"

Ross sighed. "Sort of. I might be. I'm not sure yet."

Carol peered into his eyes. "Is it…"

"Yeah, uh, it is," Ross confirmed, knowing she meant Rachel.

"Oh," Carol said softly, removing her hand from his arm. "That's great, Ross," she finally decided. "There's always been something between you two."

"I'm sorry." It was the only thing Ross could say.

"No, it's uh, okay. I hope you two…figure everything out."

Carol stood from the bench, looking past his face to the sidewalk. "Good luck, Ross," she said as her last words.

Ross let out a breath, and sat at the bench for a few more minutes. He definitely hadn't seen that coming. He stood slowly, and made his way over to the coffee shop. Rachel was standing with a frozen drink, and when she saw him, she looked at him with those bright blue eyes that Ross found he could never quite take his gaze from.

He wanted to continue their earlier conversation. He wanted to tell her that everything with Carol was definitely over, and that he'd been in love with her since high school. He wanted to tell her how he felt; how he wanted to hold her, and kiss her, and make love to her, because she was the only woman he'd ever even _considered_ spending the rest of his life with.

But in true Ross and Rachel fashion, he approached her, told her Carol just wanted to say good-bye before graduation, asked what kind of drink she got, and that was it. Neither mentioned their earlier talk.

The words were out now, though. It was just up to them to figure out what to do.

**XXX**


	8. Sharing

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: I love the reviews! I don't think I've ever gotten this many by seven chapters!

How freaky is it that my three Friends-chaptered stories all have the same amount of reviews (59) right now as I post this? Just thought I'd share. And also: I've done an outline for another Friends story. I need help, guys; these fics are taking over my brain. Seriously.

**XXX**

"Oh, my little boy is all grown up," Judy cried as she patted Ross's cheek. The graduation had ended an hour before, and now the families were being reunited with their graduates.

"I'm so proud of you, son," Jack said, his voice choked a bit.

Monica grinned at her brother. "You did it," she said simply to him, and he smiled and hugged her tightly. "It's going to be so weird to not have you around next year."

"You'll get used to it," Ross replied. "I'm sure you'll be at the apartment all the time with Chandler."

"Yeah, but still, I'm gonna miss you. And you better miss me," she added threateningly.

"I will. I'll miss you a lot," he agreed, and hugged her again.

Ross couldn't have asked for a better graduation. The sky had been blue, with a few clouds floating along just for show. The sun had been bright, everything had been green, and even traffic hadn't been that bad. The day had been perfect.

Well, almost perfect.

"You graduated!" Rachel shrieked, and rushed into his arms when Monica stepped back.

Ross could almost imagine that Rachel was his girlfriend at that moment; his girlfriend who had come with his family to see him accomplish one of his largest goals in life. She didn't know it, but he'd gone through a lot to get her a ticket to the graduation, since she wasn't family. Chandler had been lucky: Monica had been there for her brother anyways; seeing her boyfriend was a plus. And yet, Ross had managed to get his friend a ticket, too.

The night before, after getting himself an iced coffee, he'd walked Rachel back to her dorm room in relative silence, each wrapped up in their own thoughts, which were more similar than either could've known. She'd said a simple goodnight, and that had been it. Now, with his family around, they acted as if nothing had happened.

"You've probably heard this a million times already, and you're probably gonna hear it a million times more, but I'm proud of you," Rachel told him as they disentangled from the hug, her eyes showing the honesty she meant.

"Thanks," Ross replied, almost shyly. A fellow graduate who he was friends with called out to him, wanting him to get in a picture with some people. Ross nodded, but looked back at Rachel once more.

Feeling slightly out of place, Rachel just smiled and patted his arm. "I've got to get going."

"Alright. You're coming to next week's party, right?" Jack and Judy were hosting a graduation party for their son, and had planned it for a week after the actual event so some of their far-away family could make it. Ross wanted nothing more than for Rachel to come.

She grinned. "Of course I am." With those words she hugged him once more, said good-bye to his family and Chandler, and disappeared in the crowd.

"I think you're drooling," Monica joked as she approached her brother, catching him staring after her best friend.

Ross turned and looked at her, but decided not to fight it. "Yeah, yeah." He put his arm around her shoulders as they made their way towards his friends who wanted the picture. Chandler was already joking around with them. "Hey, are you the one who got Chandler to shave off his goatee?" he asked suddenly, the thought clicking into place.

Monica smiled towards her boyfriend. "Maybe."

"I bet you two are gonna get married," Ross teased.

"Is that a bad thing?" his sister questioned.

Ross was surprised she took it so seriously. He shrugged. "I guess not."

"Good."

"C'mon, Geller, get your ass over here!" one of Ross' friends called, and he did as they instructed, his thoughts moving too fast for him to keep up.

**XXX**

"Mon, I can't believe you did this for me!" Rachel grinned as she watched trees pass while they sped along the highway.

"Well, it's for both of us, really," Monica replied as she took the exit that led them into Cape Cod, Massachusetts.

Rachel's early birthday surprise had ended up being revealed the day before, when Monica had burst into her best friend's room at her home and told her to start packing, just a day after they'd moved back home from NYU. Jack and Judy were friendly with a couple who had a house in Chatham, which was at the elbow of the arm that Cape Cod shaped. The friends had offered the house to the family for that weekend, but the two eldest Gellers hadn't been able to coordinate their schedules to get there. At Monica's pleading, they'd agreed that she and Rachel could take the weekend at the house, instead. Chatham had quaint shopping and a nice view, two things Monica knew her best friend would appreciate immensely.

Monica had to admit, she already missed Chandler. He and Ross had just moved into their new place across from Nana's, so they'd been spending much of their time unpacking. But this was a boys-free weekend, so Monica had decided that unless Rachel brought him up, she wasn't going to mention her boyfriend.

She glanced out of the corner of her eye at her friend. Rachel was sitting there, looking out the window. Nothing looked to be bothering her on the outside, but Monica knew this girl almost as well as she knew herself. They'd been best friends since the age of five.

Something was up.

"Hey, Rach?" she asked tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"Is something…bugging you?"

Rachel looked at her friend, then turned her head to face straight ahead. She played with her hair as she replied unconvincingly, "Uh…no."

"Oh," Monica said slowly. She waited a beat. "You sure?"

"Definitely."

"Okay." A beat. "You're _positive_?"

"_Yes_."

"Alright."

The rest of the drive was spent in relative silence. Rachel seemed to be lost in thought, while Monica longed to know what exactly those thoughts were about. She hated not knowing what was going on.

"Here we are!" she announced cheerfully as they came up a short driveway to a nice, two-story, off-white colored house that was only a block away from the beach.

Rachel smiled as she got out of the car. "This place is great, Mon."

"I know," Monica agreed. The two women stood outside for a moment, admiring the house. "Let's go in," she finally said.

**XXX**

They spent the day unpacking. The house ended up having three bedrooms and two bathrooms. Neither took the master bedroom, since they couldn't decide who got it in the first place. There was a cozy kitchen, a good-sized living room, a closed-in porch, and then a small TV room off to one side of the house.

"Wow," Rachel proclaimed as she and Monica fell onto the over-stuffed couch in the living room. They'd gone out into town for awhile and picked up some pizza. "I haven't been to a beach house this nice since the one we rented three years ago. My dad…"

She trailed off sadly. Monica rubbed her friend's arm gently, understanding that it was still hard for her to talk about her late father.

"So," Monica said a few minutes later, confident that it'd been a long enough silence to be deemed 'polite' for her friend. She switch her position and sat on a nearby chair on the other side of the coffee table that separated the two pieces of furniture. "Let's do some girl-talk."

"Monica, all we _do_ do is girl-talk," Rachel said. She grinned though, and sat, Indian-style, on the couch. "So what do we talk about?"

"Anything. Everything."

"Okay."

Monica sighed. "Fine, I'll go first. What was really bothering you in the car?" she quizzed.

Rachel shook her head as she took a sip of her strawberry margarita. She wasn't sure if she wanted to tell anyone just yet what had been consuming all of her thoughts as of late. "Well…"

"Rach, it's _me_ you're talking to. You can tell me anything."

"I'm not sure you'd want to hear this one."

"Try me."

Setting down her drink and taking a deep breath, Rachel waited another minute before beginning, "Okay. When did you really start liking Chandler? Like, _really_ liking him?"

Monica smiled slowly. Hey, Rachel had brought it up. Now she got to talk about her boyfriend. "Well, uh, I'd have to say…the end of freshman year."

"Not the Thanksgiving where we first met him?" Rachel asked, confused.

"No," Monica said, shaking her head and thinking back. "That was a stupid crush. I really started liking him when we were moving our stuff back home from the dorms. Ross had just gotten together with Carol, and you were dating some guy, and you both were gone a lot. Chandler had come to the room to see if Ross was there, and when he saw that he wasn't, he offered to help me pack. So…we packed. And it was the first time I actually saw him as more than just my older brother's jerky, annoying best friend."

Rachel was nodding, enraptured with the story. Monica scrutinized her. "Why do you ask?"

Now, her friend became apprehensive. "Uh, you know, I'd just always wondered. You two seem so happy."

"Yeah," Monica agreed dreamily. Her head came out of the clouds quickly, however, when her mind began to question if that was the only reason Rachel had asked. "I think it helped that we were friends first," she informed the other woman, who looked up suddenly from her pizza, which was only halfway to her mouth.

"Oh, uh, good," Rachel said.

"Yeah, sometimes the best romances blossom from friendships. Don't you think?" Monica pressed, everything fitting together in her mind like a puzzle that was missing one more piece. "I mean, _friendship_ is important in a relationship."

Rachel nodded, looking uncomfortable. "Sure."

"I'll bet that if you ever tried being _friends_ first with a guy, instead of rushing to date them, you'd find yourself in a _very _good situation."

"Uh huh."

Monica was becoming aggravated. She just wanted Rachel to spill! "Do you like my brother?" she enquired bluntly, and loudly. The gasp that Rachel emitted was enough for Monica to prove her theory correct.

"Ah ha!" She shouted, triumphant. "You _do_ like him! When? How? I mean, I thought you always just saw him as my older brother; a friend, nothing more!" The questions were spilling out of her mouth like a bad drink.

Rachel didn't reply for a long time. She wasn't sure if she should be divulging in this secret.

Oh, what the hell. "Okay, Mon. I _may_…be feeling…_something_…for Ross."

"_Thank_ you!" Monica yelled. She thought her friend would never admit it.

"I don't know why," Rachel started, shaking her head. Outside, the sky was growing darker as the seconds ticked by. "I mean I always just saw him as your geeky older brother, and then he's taking me to prom, and then he's talking me out of joining that sorority, and then we're hanging out just the two of us more and more, and then he's with me at the hospital when my dad dies, and then you and Chandler get together and we spend even _more_ time together, and one minute I'm smiling at him while we walk in the snow because he's making me feel good about myself, and the next minute we're walking home from a fancy restaurant and I'm smiling because I'm realizing how _incredibly amazing _your brother is."

When she was done, Rachel fell back against the chair cushion, letting out a long stream of air. Monica blinked slowly.

"Wow," was all she could think of to say.

"I know," Rachel agreed quietly.

Monica waited a moment, before starting in on the subject. "You know, he's been in love with you since the ninth grade. I'm sure if you told him you like him, he'd be so excited he'd wet himself."

Rachel cracked a smile. "I don't know, Mon. I don't want anything to become weird between us. I mean, we're such good friends. _Best_ friends, only second to you and me. And if it didn't work out…"

"Who says it isn't going to work out?" Monica protested. "Personally, I think you two would be great together."

"You really think so?"

"I _know_ so."

The two women sat in silence. Outside, the sun kept fading behind the house. People were talking and laughing as they barbecued outside. The sea roared every so often.

"Wanna take a walk?" Rachel asked, standing up.

Monica nodded. She could tell Rachel didn't want to discuss Ross anymore. The two left, avoiding the revelation that had just been announced and was now floating in their minds.

She'd get more information out of her later.

**XXX**

**A/N II**: Had to give a shout-out to my home state, and my favorite vacationing spot within it :)


	9. Close

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Friends. 

**A/N:** Wow. Ten reviews for one chapter? Dude, you guys are too good.

It's official: I've started writing a new Friends fic, God help me.

**XXX**

"I had a great time, Mon. Thanks for taking me," Rachel said as she and Monica crossed the border back into New York.

They'd spent the next day of their weekend shopping, milling around town, and then tanning at the beach. It was still chilly out, since it was only the end of May, but Rachel was happy with the slight brown color she'd gained on her skin.

They hadn't talked about Ross.

"Well, happy birthday, Rach. Don't say I never did anything big for you," Monica joked, keeping her eyes on the road. "And _this_ gift you can't exchange."

Rachel huffed. "I don't exchange gifts!…That often."

"Well, your real birthday is in four days."

"Yup."

"You're gonna be twenty-one."

"Yup."

Monica looked at her, then grinned. "My little girl has grown up so fast."

"Stop it," Rachel said lightly, smiling as she looked out the window.

"You know what else is coming up soon? I mean, _really _soon?"

"What's that?" Rachel asked with interest.

"The party. Tomorrow night is the party my parent's are throwing," Monica reminded her, her eyes twinkling. "And a certain person is going to be there. A person you haven't seen in nearly a week. A lot can change in a week, now, can't it? I hope you're still going."

Rachel sighed. "Of _course_ I'm still going."

"And are you going to tell…a certain person about a certain feeling you've been having lately towards them?"

"You know, subtly really isn't your thing, Mon."

"I'm trying to be respectful," Monica defended. "So, are you gonna tell him?"

_Ah, if only you knew how badly that question has plagued my mind_, Rachel thought darkly. The only thing she'd been able to think about since her sudden epiphany as she and Ross walked down the street the night before his graduation was if she was going to tell him, and when, if she decided she was going to. Rachel knew he'd had a crush on her for a long time, but had sufficiently ignored that fact up until recently. Now, it was something she was reminded of constantly.

The scary part of it all was the feeling of uncertainty that seemed to follow her everywhere; not knowing how to handle herself, now that she realized she was, and had been for some time, falling for a sweet, kind guy who'd been falling for _her_ since high school.

The _really_ scary part was that the uncertainty was turning out to be just as thrilling as the knowing.

"Rach?"

"What?"

"I asked, are you _scared_ to tell him?"

Rachel took a moment to consider that question just a little more.

She smiled. "No."

**XXX**

Chandler cried out in pain as he exited the bathroom and promptly tripped over Ross' miniature model of a T-Rex. He picked up the two-foot dinosaur and stared at it. "You have _got_ to be _kidding_ me," he said to himself, glancing around the apartment for any sign of his roommate.

He and Ross had been in the apartment for a little over a week, and were still in the stages of unpacking (Chandler set down the model, shaking his head). He had an interview in three days at a company that did data reconfiguration, though he wasn't too thrilled about it. He didn't really want to go into this business, but he and Ross were strapped for money, and for now, he could live with this job.

Ross was finally offered a full-time job at the museum, so he spent a lot of his time there, which was fine with Chandler, because it meant Monica could come over and they could make out in the living room without having to worry about her older brother walking in on them. Sure, they'd only been there for a short time, but the freedom of having their own place was still new and fun.

Monica. Monica, Monica, Monica. Chandler still sometimes wondered how he had lucked out by getting a girl like her. Sure, she was sort of bossy. And kind of controlling. And needed everything perfect. And couldn't stand to lose.

But she was _hot_.

Now, he felt bad that he'd thought so little of her when they'd first met. He'd been a superficial ass. Yet somehow, she'd grown on him to the point where he'd found himself liking to see his best friend's little sister more than his best friend.

Chandler wanted to call her. He'd been wanting to call her all weekend, ever since the moment she and Rachel had pulled out of the Geller's driveway on Friday. But, his girlfriend had made it very clear that he couldn't contact her at all. She'd said it was a girls-only weekend.

Pondering what a girls-only weekend entailed, Chandler sat down on the one chair that wasn't occupied with a box. Ross entered the apartment suddenly, and Chandler was about to greet him when he realized his best friend was mumbling to himself.

He stood from the chair and approached the other man. "Ross?…You okay?"

Ross blinked and looked at Chandler, then shook his head. "Yeah, sorry. I was just thinking."

"Do you _normally_ think out loud?"

"What?"

"Never mind." Chandler checked the time on his watch.

Ross noticed his impatient behavior. "What's up, man?"

"Aren't they supposed to be back, like, two hours ago?" he questioned.

"Yeah, but they probably wanted to unpack first," Ross rationalized. He didn't mention that Chandler had just brought up the one subject he'd been trying to avoid for the past week. Thoughts of Rachel flooded his mind.

As if God was granting some sort of wish, the door opened, and both men turned to find Monica standing in the doorway, Rachel just a few steps behind her.

"Monica!" Chandler yelled, jumping up and down like a little kid before rushing forward to embrace her. She laughed, and as he pulled away, keeping his hands firmly on her waist, he said, "Does this seem needy?"

"Did you miss me?" she asked.

"No." Chandler grinned, stepping away and waving to Rachel, who had entered the apartment and was conveniently looking anywhere but at Ross, who couldn't keep his eyes off her. He only looked away to give a distracted hug to his sister.

"So, how 'bout I take you to reacquaint yourself with my room?" Chandler questioned his girlfriend in a not-so-subtle way, glancing furtively towards their two friends.

Monica took a moment to look at Rachel, and they had a conversation without words. Chandler had always wondered how girls seemed to read each other's minds. Rachel nodded, and Monica smiled at Ross before leading Chandler into his room, away from the mounting tension.

Rachel cleared her throat uncomfortably. When she'd agreed to come with Monica to the apartment, she'd been under the impression that Ross would still be at work.

Obviously, that was not correct.

"How was the weekend?" he finally asked.

"It was good," she responded immediately. "They had really good Clam Chowder." _What a stupid thing to say_, she thought with an inward groan.

Instead of laughing at her stupidity, Ross smiled a bit. "Well, I hear that's what Cape Cod is famous for." He rocked on his feet. "So, haven't seen you since graduation."

"Oh, yeah, I've been, uh, busy," Rachel said.

"How's your family?"

"Oh, everyone's good. Jill and Amy are gone for most of the summer. My mom's…well…herself. How's, uh, your mom and dad?"

"They're good. My mom's sent over a lot of stuff for the apartment, as you can see." Ross gestured around the cluttered room.

He smiled a little as Rachel eyed the room carefully. He wished he could ask her what she'd been thinking about the past week; if she'd been thinking of him. He wanted to tell her she'd been all _he_ could think about. He still wanted to know what she had been ready to say before Carol had interrupted them.

"So, how's the real world treating you?" Rachel questioned easily, becoming more comfortable with the tension between them. _Might as well get used to it, _she figured.

"Kind of sucks, but it's also great to have our own place."

Rachel plastered a smile on her face. "Seen anyone from school yet? Any break-up parties? Carol?" she added at the end, her voice rising in fake-cheerfulness.

Ross raised an eyebrow. "Uh, no, just Chandler, and he's kind of unavoidable. And, uh, I don't have a reason to see Carol." Maybe this was it. Maybe she was going to tell him now.

"Well, you two seemed pretty chummy the night before your graduation." Rachel had no idea why she was being so bitchy all of a sudden, but she'd been holding in her Carol frustrations for over a week, and she needed to vent them.

Ross was slightly taken aback by her sudden attitude. "Wha-no, she was just saying goodbye."

"_Really_, Ross?" Rachel's voice held something more than just annoyance; now it also had a hint of curiosity.

Wanting to test her a bit, Ross eyed her. "So what if she _was_ asking me about something else? It isn't any of your business."

"I know that!" Rachel defended weakly. "It's just, she, and, she just, ugh! Why won't you just answer the question directly?"

"Why do you _care_ so much?"

"Just, _please_ Ross. Are you back together with her?"

Ross mulled over those words, staring at Rachel in a new light. She was jealous. She was jealous of _his_ ex-girlfriend. "Well," he began, wanting to see her reaction, "she _wanted_ to get back together."

Rachel took a step back, one that was hardly noticeable, but a step back nonetheless. Ross had to admit he was pleased at her shocked expression.

"Oh," she said slowly. "So, you told her…you'd think about it, or something?"

"No," Ross replied, just as slowly as she'd asked. He took a step towards her, taking a breath. She was nearly backed up against the door.

She looked surprised, but her shoulders sagged, almost in relief. "Why did you say no?" she asked, almost at a whisper.

Ross let his brown eyes probe her blue ones, savoring this unseen moment of Rachel's jealousy. He'd dreamed of this type of situation. And now, it seemed as if another dream was about to come true.

"Because," he started softly, letting the word travel at a snail's pace from his mouth, "because-"

"Ross, your best friend is disgusting!" Monica yelled, rushing out of Chandler's room, her boyfriend hot on her heels.

Chandler grinned. "Oh, sure, in there I'm your boyfriend, out here I'm your brother's best friend."

The couple stopped when they saw the heavy scene they'd just interrupted. Ross let out a long sigh, shaking his head and wondering why he even bothered. He gave a parting look to Rachel, and then went to his room.

Rachel watched after him, blinking slowly. Monica's eyebrows rose.

"Why do I have a feeling we missed something extremely large and life-changing?" Chandler asked jokingly.

**XXX**


	10. Closer

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: Wow. I'm just in shock by all these reviews. I thank you all, especially those of you who have specified what you've enjoyed. It helps me see what you all like, so I can attempt to write stuff you'll all want to read.

Oh, and, I'm glad my cliffhanger/dragging-the-relationship-out for Ross and Rachel is working just how I wanted. I'm evil, no?

**XXX**

Rachel stared at her reflection in the floor-length mirror hanging on the inside of her bedroom door. Her reflection stared back.

She'd been standing in front of the mirror for forty-five minutes, modeling the outfit she'd put on that she was planning to wear to the Geller's party this evening. It was a simple sky-blue dress that hung by thin straps on her shoulders, and went down to the top of her knees. It was perfect for the occasion.

However, Rachel was preoccupied with more than just wondering if the dress was perfect for the occasion. She was still caught up in what had almost transpired between she and Ross the day before in his apartment.

She was scared. Rachel knew she'd probably never say those words out loud, but she was petrified by her feelings, and the fact that she was almost positive Ross felt the same for her. Sure, she'd told Monica she wasn't worried or anything, but in truth, she was frightened beyond comprehension.

Rachel turned slightly, and the dress followed, though it swished out a little at the bottom.

Her birthday was only a few days away. She wasn't even twenty-one yet. And though that seemed like something others would find trivial, to Rachel it was one of the biggest factors into her scared state.

She'd always had a commitment phobia. Ever since she'd cottoned on to the fact that Chip was cheating on her, and her parents weren't happy, and that the divorce rate seemed pretty high, she'd felt better if she distanced herself from any guys she dated. Rachel had decided, upon entering college, that she would follow this pattern until she found the guy she knew was going to be _it_.

And there was the largest reason for her anxiety. It was becoming glaringly clear that Ross had a _lot_ of potential to be… _it_. And she wasn't even out of college!

"Rachel, dear, are you coming?" Sandra called from the hallway, snapping her daughter out of her daze.

"Oh, uh, yes!" Rachel responded, giving herself a final once-over in the mirror, finding the woman looking back much more composed than she'd thought she looked just moments before. Her eyes betrayed her, however.

She grabbed her purse from off the bed and joined her mother in the hallway. Sandra shot her daughter a smile.

"I love that color on you, honey, it really brings out your eyes." Sandra nodded. "Who knows? Maybe a nice young man will take notice at the party." She winked.

Rachel's smile faltered, and her thoughts immediately flew back to Ross. "Yeah. Maybe they will," she agreed slowly.

It was going to be a long evening.

**XXX**

Monica smiled at the guests milling around her parent's yard as she made her way through the crowd. Chandler was just a step behind her, and both paused when they found Ross by the drinks.

"Still not here?" Chandler questioned carefully as Ross looked sadly into his plastic cup.

"No," Ross replied miserably.

Monica gave her brother a half-smile. "She's coming, don't worry."

"Ah, Sandra! Rachel! So good you could come!" Judy gushed at her place by the driveway, making the three young adults turn and watch. Ross' heart seemed to stop beating for a second when he caught sight of Rachel.

"Wow, she looks really good," Chandler commented.

Monica slapped him on the arm, hard. "You're taken, buddy."

"I was just saying!" Chandler called as his girlfriend retreated and he followed.

Rachel glanced over towards the drinks and her eyes locked with Ross'. The intense look gave her even more butterflies in her stomach.

She took only one step towards him before she was intercepted by a neighbor who asked her so many questions that by the time she got away, Ross was gone.

Ironically, it took them another two hours to even greet each other. It was nearly dark by then; the tiki-torches stuck in the grass were lit, the colorful lanterns were glowing, and music was blaring from a table by the driveway, which was being used as a dance floor.

"Uh, hey there," Ross started, leaning against the garage beside Rachel, who was watching the festivities with unseeing eyes.

She started suddenly, turning her head to look at him for just a moment, before looking down. "Hey, Ross."

"Quite a turnout, huh?" he asked, watching his father twirl his mother.

"Yeah, you guys sure do know how to throw a party," Rachel said.

"So… we haven't really seen each other yet, before now," Ross stated. His palms were sweating, which was making it difficult for him to hold his plastic cup.

Rachel nodded, still not meeting his eyes. "There are a lot of people here," she pointed out. She was finding it harder to breathe normally as each minute ticked by. Being this close to Ross, now that she really understood her feelings…

"How's the museum?" she finally queried, keeping the conversation neutral.

"Oh, uh, good," Ross informed her, finally deciding to set his drink down on the ground. "Still kind of learning the ropes, but it's a, uh, job, and I'm doing something I love, so… uh, it's fine."

"Good," Rachel replied honestly, lifting her eyes to study Ross' face.

The silence between them became heavy with tension _very _quickly.

"Listen, Rach," Ross began, turning to face her, so now they were both examining the other. "Yesterday… I didn't mean to bait you."

Rachel took a deep breath, attempting to calm her nerves. "I… I didn't have a right to ask," she said quietly, then added, almost as an afterthought, "did I?"

Ross took his time before replying. He knew this was it. He just had a feeling that this was _it_; no interruptions, no storming out, nothing to get in the way. "You've always had the right to ask, Rach," he said in a voice that sounded more like it belonged to a teenager than a twenty-two-year-old.

"Really?" Rachel questioned, almost disbelieving, her voice also hushed. "But I was acting so… jealous." Only after the words were out of her mouth did the full effect of them hit her.

Ross went un-phased. "I know."

"I'm not sure what to say." Rachel had moved her eyes to the ground, but brought them back up, locking gazes with Ross.

He found that the light from one of the nearby torches was giving the illusion that her blue eyes were glowing, and Ross had to admit to himself that he'd never thought they were more beautiful.

"Your dress… really brings out your eyes," he stated, almost in a daze.

Before either could even stop to say anything else or think or even breathe, Ross took the boldest step he ever had.

He kissed her for all it was worth.

**XXX**


	11. Meetings

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends. 

**A/N**: Wow. Over 100 reviews? For ten chapters? This has never happened to me before! Oh man! You all rock! (And MightyRikimaru, thanks for the constructive criticism)

This chapter is pretty long, I think. Hope you all are still enjoying :)

**XXX**

Rachel didn't even have time to close her eyes and prepare before Ross had bent over enough so his lips could meet hers.

Her first thought after she _had_ closed her eyes was: Ross was a _good_ kisser.

For the moment, Rachel forgot about her fears. She let her arms snake up around Ross' shoulders while he made a mess of her perfectly-done hair. All she could focus on was how amazing she felt; how just this one kiss from Ross made her feel like she was the most important girl in the world, and he wanted to prove that to her.

However, when it seemed to be starting to get a little out of control, Rachel backed away suddenly, breathing heavily and staring at the ground.

Ross blinked slowly, his eyes on her bent head. "Uh…," was all he said.

Rachel looked up to meet his confused face. "I…," she began. "I've got to go." And with that, she ran off, past the garage, through the dancers on the driveway, and down the street towards her own home.

Her frightened feelings had returned full force with that kiss, but now, they seemed to be magnified by a thousand.

**XXX**

Ross watched her run off, and felt like a complete ass. Had he just made a mistake?

Chandler and Monica stumbled towards him, both leaning on the other for support as they laughed hysterically at something. They stopped when Ross turned towards them.

"Ross? What's wrong?" Monica asked gently, stepping towards her brother.

Ross shook his head, looking back to where Rachel had run off. "I… uh… Rachel and I just kissed."

"Whoa!" Chandler said. "Way to go, man!" He lifted his hand for a high five. When Ross didn't respond, he pulled it back. "Uh… is this a bad thing all of a sudden?"

"She ran off," Ross confided, sighing dejectedly. "I thought she wanted this…"

Monica rubbed his shoulder. "She did, Ross. She's probably just confused. You know how Rachel is."

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, I mean, if she doesn't mention it the next time you see her, then you can go back to being uncomfortable best friends who both secretly long for the other!" He waited for a response, which never came. "No?" he asked, then stepped back slightly.

"Give her time," Monica advised wisely.

Ross nodded. This was all much harder than he had expected it would be.

**XXX**

She didn't know why she ran out. Her heart was telling her not to. Pleading, actually. In fact, it had been downright begging her not to break that amazing kiss.

Her head, however, was a whole different matter. It yelled at her, warning her that he was her friend, she couldn't mess that up; she'd break his heart.

So, she stepped back. Which, ironically enough, seemed to break Ross' heart anyway.

Rachel sighed as she placed her blue dress on a hanger. After running home and racing up to her room, she'd fallen back on her bed, intending to suffocate herself with a pillow, or something a little less violent. Anything that would get the image of Ross' face out of her mind. Suddenly, it felt like every time she thought, or moved, or blinked, or even breathed, his smiling form would show up in her mind's eye.

She took just one more glance at the dress before shoving it in the closet and closing the door, making it slam a little for an added affect. Her mother's words from earlier came back to her: _"Who knows? Maybe a nice young man will take notice at the party."_

Damn her mother for suddenly becoming clairvoyant! Someone _did_ notice. _Ross_ noticed. Right before he kissed her, he said that her dress matched her eyes. Damn her! Damn him! Damn them _all_!

Realizing how silly she sounded, Rachel flopped back down onto her bed. She could still hear music from the party blasting away. Her nightstand clock informed her that it was only ten.

She didn't know why she was so worked up about this. This was what she wanted, wasn't it? Yes. Of course. It was just her stupid fears that were haunting her that were making this so much harder.

She couldn't face Ross now. He'd be furious with her; or uncomfortable. They'd be awkward and there would be those annoying long silences filled with tension, and maybe even a moment or two sprinkled in where each one of them thinks, "this is it," and then the opportunity is missed.

That'd be just like them.

Letting out a long puff of air, Rachel rolled onto her side, flicking off her bedside light so her room was dark.

One thing was for certain: she'd probably just ruined the best thing that could've ever happened to her, and it hadn't even started yet.

**XXX**

Rachel celebrated her birthday two days later. It was a simple thing, really; her mother, sisters, grandmother, and some other aunts, uncles, and cousins came for a gathering at their home. Monica and Chandler took her out to a fancy restaurant, and happily let her order the wine to solidify the fact that she was now twenty-one.

Ross "had to work late", Monica told her.

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't been disappointed. Even though Rachel had been fretting over the kiss with Ross ever since the moment it happened, she still felt that a piece of her was missing while they were out.

When she got home late that night, there had been a gift on her doorstep. A pair of teardrop earrings. They were special, though; Rachel and Ross had been walking down a street in the city when she'd spied them in a window. She'd told her companion that they were just like a pair of her grandmother's, which she loved. Instead of buying them, though, she'd kept walking, saying they really weren't that big a deal, and had forgotten about them by the next day.

But, apparently, Ross remembered.

Add that to the list of reasons why she was afraid of starting anything with Ross; he remembered the little things, and always knew when she was lying.

**XXX**

Ross spent the remainder of the summer pretty miserably. He'd soon realized that he needed to be closer to the museum if he was going to be commuting every day, and so, with a heavy heart, he'd come to Chandler one day in late June and informed his best friend that he was moving out. He'd even already found an affordable place; now, Chandler just had to find a new roommate.

Chandler had joked that he'd invite Monica to live with him. Ross had joked (threatened, really) to remove one of his limbs.

He spent all of his spare time at the museum, or visiting his parents, or hanging out in Nana's apartment. He was finding it more and more difficult to just relax with Monica and Chandler, since they always reminded him of the thing he was trying to forget. Or, actually, _who_ he was trying to forget.

He'd left the earrings he'd secretly known Rachel had wanted on her doorstep on her birthday while she was out with Monica and Chandler. Just because they were avoiding each other didn't mean Ross couldn't give her something he knew she'd love for her birthday.

In fact, Ross had received a note from her only a week after her birthday. It had been taped onto their apartment door with his name printed on it in her neat handwriting. Inside, it'd simply said:

_Ross,_

_Thank you for the earrings. I had been lying when I said I didn't care about them when we went past them in that store window, and you saw that. You notice a lot about me._

_-Rachel_

It wasn't much, and Ross had spent days pouring over it, trying to find some hidden meaning behind her wording. He didn't find much. She didn't even really sign it; no "love", or "from", or, (thank God) "your friend".

What did strike him was the fact that she said, "_You notice a lot about me_." Now _that_, _that_ short statement seemed to hold so much promise.

So Ross kept going on during the summer; he kept going to the museum, he slowly packed his belongings and was in the process of moving them into his new apartment, and was even helping Chandler find a new roommate.

Because, as he liked to think, there was still _potential_.

**XXX**

Monica glanced over at her subdued best friend as they stepped into Chandler's apartment building. Rachel had been acting so unlike herself ever since the kiss between she and Ross at the beginning of the summer, and it was stating to flat-out scare Monica, since they'd just moved back to school for their senior year of college, and classes began in a week. In all the years she'd known her, Rachel Green had never become this despondent over a guy.

The two women were on their way up to Chandler's apartment to meet his new roommate, an aspiring actor with a very Italian name which escaped Monica at the present time. Apparently, this guy hadn't been her boyfriend's first choice, but the other guy had never shown up, and so the actor got the roommate spot. He'd just moved in this morning.

Rachel and Monica made their way up to the stairs, towards apartment number 19. Nana, who lived just across the hall, was in Florida for two weeks, and so the place was empty.

"Is Ross going to be here?"

The sudden question spoken by Rachel nearly made Monica stop in her tracks. She hadn't uttered his name in a _very_ long time.

"Uh… I'm not sure," Monica said slowly, the wheels in her head beginning to turn. If she could just get them together in the same room, and then somehow give she, Chandler, and his new roommate a reason to leave them alone…

"Oh."

She didn't say anything else, and Monica decided not to push it. She wondered idly if something else had happened between her best friend and brother that neither of them were telling as she knocked on her boyfriend's door.

A good-looking guy who only appeared to be a year or two older than them opened the door. He looked the two women up and down, and then said in a sexy voice, "How you doin'?"

Chandler rushed up behind the guy and put a hand on his shoulder. "Uh, Joey, please don't do that," he said seriously. Joey shrugged and raised his hands in defeat, and then stepped back to let the other two into the apartment.

Monica gave Chandler a greeting kiss, and then asked, "So that's the new roommate?"

Chandler nodded with a small groan. "That's the new roommate."

"He's good-looking," Monica pointed out.

Glaring at his girlfriend, Chandler just waved his hands. "Yeah, yeah."

"So, listen," Monica started quietly as Joey attempted to make conversation with Rachel, "is Ross coming?"

Chandler nodded. "Well, yeah!"

Monica hit him on the chest. "Doofus!"

"He's my best friend! Why shouldn't he come?" Chandler asked defensively, recoiling at her attack.

"Because _Rachel_ is here!"

"Oh come _on_. It's not like they're divorced!"

Monica shook her head. "Fine. But if one of them ends up hurting at the end of this evening, _you're_ paying."

"As long as we can still have sex, I'm fine with that," Chandler said with an evil smirk, which Monica rolled her eyes at and walked away from.

"So, listen, how about you and me-" Joey was saying as Monica reached he and Rachel.

Interrupting, she stuck out her hand towards the new guy. "I'm Monica Geller, Chandler's girlfriend."

Joey nodded and shook her hand. "Wow, you've got a strong grip," he commented. "I'm Joey Tribbiani. Chandler's got good taste."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

The apartment door opened and a tall blonde women entered. "Hey!"

No one responded, save for Joey, who walked over to her. "Hey Pheebs!"

At Rachel and Monica's questioning looks, Chandler shrugged. "He and Phoebe are like, best friends." They accepted this explanation.

"Okay, guys, this is Phoebe," Joey introduced as he and his blonde friend rejoined the other three. "Pheebs, this is Rachel and Monica."

"Hi," Rachel greeted.

"Good to meet you," Monica said kindly.

"Wow! _You're_ Chandler's girlfriend?" Phoebe questioned of Monica, slightly surprised. "You're so much prettier than I thought you'd be!"

Chandler crossed his arms over his chest, annoyed. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Monica smiled. "Shut up, she called me pretty," she whispered to her boyfriend. "So, how long have you two known each other?"

Joey grinned at Phoebe, then told them, "Well, I was on the subway two years ago, and there weren't any seats, and well, Pheebs was sitting down and her purse was taking up most of the two seats next to her, but she put it on the ground and let me sit, and then I hit on her, and we've been friends ever since."

"Your purse took up _two_ _whole _subway seat?" Rachel questioned.

Phoebe nodded good-naturedly. "Yeah. I had needed my biggest one, because I was carrying a lamp and a pair of shoes, plus all the regular stuff I carry around."

Chandler blinked. "Oh. Well… that's not at all weird." He cleared his throat. "Anyway, how about we head out to check out the new coffee place? It had some cutesy name like Caffeine Central or Perky Place or something."

"Oh, but hey, shouldn't we wait for your other friend, uh, what was his name?" Joey scratched his head in thought. "Gus?"

Rachel sighed to herself. "Ross."

Joey snapped his fingers. "Yes! That's the one."

Monica glanced over at her best friend. "We can just leave him a note saying where we are."

As they were exiting the building, Joey sidled up beside Rachel again while Monica and Phoebe chatted about something or other and Chandler tried to remember the name of the coffee place.

"So," Joey said, his voice lowering in pitch. Rachel rolled her eyes. "How do you know Chandler?"

"He's Monica's brother Ross' best friend and old college roommate, and Monica and I have been friends since we were little."

"Wow, sounds like you guys got a pretty tight-knit group," Joey commented suavely.

Rachel inwardly groaned. _You ain't kidding._

"Maybe you'd let me buy you some coffee-" Joey began, just as earlier in the apartment, but was cut off when Chandler let out an "oof!".

Rachel looked over towards her friend to see that he had stumbled into someone. But not just _any_ someone.

Ross.

She froze up immediately. She hadn't seen him since the night of the kiss, when she'd let her fears take over and had run away and broken his heart three months ago. Had it really been _three months_?

And there he was, standing there, asking his best friend if he was all right, looking as good as ever. His hair was shorter, and he'd spiked it up in the front in that way that Rachel loved. He looked so much more grown up; but, Rachel realized, of _course_ he did. He was out of college, had a good job, and his own apartment. He really _was_ an adult.

Their eyes locked for an instant in such an intense way that Rachel just knew it'd be included as a minute-long moment if their lives were turned into a movie or TV show. He shot her a tentative smile, and she sent one back, though it faltered slightly.

Monica noticed the tension between them, having witnessed the whole moment, and declared loudly, "Alright! So let's get a move on, people!" She began ushering them out of the door.

Phoebe passed Rachel and mumbled quietly, "She seems kind of pushy." All Rachel could do was nod wordlessly.

**XXX**


	12. Admittance

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends.

**A/N**: Sorry for the gap between this update and the last. RL has taken over for the current moment, and, sadly, it may be another large gap until my next update. Suddenly, my schedule has become very busy.

These reviews are incredible. You all are too kind.

**XXX**

"Central Perk!" Chandler yelled when the six came upon the coffee shop. "_That's_ the cutesy name!"

"Stop saying 'cutesy'," Monica told her boyfriend. "It's weird."

He just grinned and leaned down so his mouth was near her ear. "Cutesy," he breathed, and she hit him across the chest. In retaliation, he grabbed Monica around the waist and pulled her closer to him, giving her no choice but to kiss him quickly.

Rachel walked along behind the couple with Phoebe. Noticing her depressed look, Phoebe prodded the other woman. "Do you like Chandler or something?"

Blinking while trying to comprehend that question, Rachel whipped her head back and forth. "No way! No, it's not… like that."

"Oh. It's just, you've looked kind of sad ever since we left the apartment."

Rachel sighed as the six filed into the coffee shop. Phoebe held back a bit so they were a good few feet away from the other four, who were already inside. "Um, something was… is… might be… going on with me and Ross. It's all just very confusing," she confided.

"Oh!" Phoebe said. "That makes sense. I mean, he's been watching you ever since he joined us."

Trying to hide her pleased look, Rachel leaned closer casually. "Really?"

"Definitely," Phoebe affirmed. "Now is there like, a whole story behind you two? 'Cause you seem like a pair that would have a big back story."

Rachel watched Ross through the window as he took a seat on the big, new-looking orange couch in the center of Central Perk. "You could say that."

Phoebe opened the door, and the two women stepped inside to join their friends. "Well, you'll have to tell me later. I hate when I don't know what's going on."

"Really?" Rachel asked. "Me too." She was beginning to really warm up to this blonde woman.

Joey tried to get Rachel to sit with him, but gave up after receiving a deathly glare from Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe. He still had no clue what was going on between Ross and Rachel.

"This coffee is _amazing_!" Ross said after he had taken the first sip out of the humongous mug he'd gotten. The others agreed.

"What a place, huh?" Monica smiled at her five companions from her spot beside Chandler on the couch. "Good coffee, good atmosphere… I think we've found ourselves a new hangout spot."

"Yeah, and these muffins are delicious," Joey said as he took a large bite out of one of the five muffins he'd ordered.

The six sat and talked and swapped stories for some time. As Ross sat back to watch as Phoebe animatedly told the others a tale about when she was living on the streets, he felt something, like a click. And with just that feeling, he knew.

These people were going to be the best group of friends a guy could ask for.

**XXX**

It was nearing closing time, and Ross needed to get back to his place, since he had to get to the museum earlier in the morning than usual to set up a new exhibit. None of the others seemed ready to leave, except for Rachel, who had removed herself from conversation to just sit back and listen.

He'd been watching her all evening. It was hard not to; it was like every time they were in the same room, his eyes immediately found her, and he just couldn't look away.

He was still grasping on to the note's potential.

She looked over at him, and just by the way her face softened he could tell that she was finally ready to talk. He had convinced himself awhile ago that it wasn't him Rachel had run away from; that she was just afraid. The thought pacified him.

Ross stood. "Okay, guys, I'm going to get going."

Rachel got to her feet also. She'd pushed her fears into the back of her mind when she'd glanced at Ross moments before. She was ready.

"I am too," she announced. Ross didn't look as surprised as she'd thought he would.

Monica noticed their silent exchange, and grinned broadly as Ross bent over to kiss her cheek. "See you later," she said, and then added, quietly, "Don't mess this up." She waved to Rachel. "See you back at the dorm."

"Nice to meet you." Ross nodded towards Joey and Phoebe, who bid their farewells to the departing twosome. As he left, he heard Joey ask, "So is she single?"

Once outside, alone with Rachel, (though, there were about a hundred people bustling by them on the street), Ross forgot everything he had been planning to say. She was just staring up at him with her bright blue eyes, and he realized it was the closest they'd been in months.

"Want to go back to my place and talk?" he asked, not even thinking.

Rachel nodded.

Their walk back to his apartment was full of silence being drowned by tension. It was an unspoken agreement to just go by foot instead of taking the subway; it gave them more time to think in the fresh air.

"So, uh, this is it," Ross said uncomfortably as he opened the door to his apartment and let Rachel inside. He now wished he'd cleaned up a bit before leaving.

"It's nice," Rachel commented sincerely.

They both sat; Rachel on the couch, Ross on the chair across from her. Neither spoke.

Finally, Ross sighed. "You know, uh, the phrase 'lets talk' usually requires words."

Rachel shifted on the couch. "I know," she said quietly. "It's just… difficult. I'm not really sure what to say."

"How about you start with why you avoided me all summer?"

"Okay, if I remember correctly, _you're_ the one who was avoiding _me_ first."

Ross' eyes crossed. "Okay, and if _I_ remember correctly, _you're_ the one who ran away after we kissed."

Rachel made a face. "Well, if _I_ remember correctly, _you're_ the-"

"Can we stop? We sound like seven-year-olds," Ross interjected. However much he'd missed Rachel, he hadn't missed her annoying trait of having to have the last word.

Well, he hadn't missed it _that_ much. Maybe just a little.

"Fine."

"Okay." He paused. "I was only avoiding you because you walked away."

Rachel leaned forward on the couch. "I only walked away because I was scared."

"Scared of what?"

"Us."

Ross shook his head in confusion. "You were scared of _us_? You mean like, being together?"

Rachel threw her hands in the air. "Yes! Okay, yes!" She stood and began pacing. "I was scared of what us getting together would do to things! I like how we are as friends. I mean, ever since Monica and Chandler got together, you've been my _best_ friend, not that Mon isn't, she's just had… someone _else_! And I've had _you_. And that was good."

"You've still got me, Rach," Ross said firmly.

She stopped pacing, but stayed standing. "I _know_ I do. But the thing is, I realized that I want _all_ of you. Not just the friend part of you, but the _boy_friend part of you, too. You're just such a great guy, Ross. How could I _not_ want that?"

Ross rubbed his temple. "So why did you pull away?"

"Because that feeling of wanting all of you scared me. I've never felt this way for _any_ guy I've ever been friends with or dated. There's so much that could happen between us-"

"Potential?"

"Yes! There's so much _potential_ for us that it scared me. I'm only twenty-one! I shouldn't be thinking about things like that! But now that I've realized my feelings for you, I can't _help_ it." Rachel let out a long sigh, and crossed her arms over her chest, staring at Ross' face to gauge his reactions.

"You know," Ross started with a chuckle after a short silence, "I've liked you since the ninth grade." He stood, so they were each standing on one side of the small coffee table set in the center of the furniture. "And, God Rach, this whole thing scares me too. I mean, it feels like I've always had these feelings for you, and now that you reciprocate them? I don't want to ruin anything."

"I don't either," Rachel whispered, her eyes misting. "I've thought about that kiss every day all summer."

"Me too."

They were quiet as they just watched the other.

"Ross?"

"Yes?"

"I'm not feeling so scared anymore."

"Me either."

Silence.

"You're a good kisser," Ross stated

"I know."

"God, why do we let this crazy stuff get in the way all the time?" Ross asked, shaking his head.

Rachel sighed. "Because we're human." She pondered. "I wonder if it was this hard for Monica and Chandler to get together."

"I have no idea. Neither of them have ever really talked about when they actually got together."

Slowly moving to one side so the coffee table was no longer in front of her, Rachel finally let all of her guard down. "I missed you, Ross. You're one of my best friends."

"I missed you too, Rach. I've hated not having you around." He moved so he was standing directly across from her, only two feet apart.

Ross chose his words carefully. "If I kiss you right now, are you going to run out of here?" He couldn't help but give a little smile, which Rachel returned.

"No," she said simply.

So he bent his head and kissed her. And she wrapped her arms around his neck, and he ran his hands through her hair.

And this time, there was no awkwardness, or hidden worries, and neither held back.

**XXX**


	13. Committed

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Friends.

**A/N**: Sorry for the delay. I've hit writer's block in terms of this story, since I had mapped everything out,but I'm at the end of the notebook I'd jotted my storyline down in, uncompleted. I need time to consider how to continue on from here, how long I want the story to last (I'd rather not prolong it so it becomes really boring, but I don't want to end it just yet because I'm really liking this 'what if'), etc. Also, my real life is taking nearly all of my attention, so I don't know when my next update will be. Not for awhile, I'm sad to admit.

These reviews keep me smiling and motivate me to write a little more every time I see them.

**XXX**

Rachel opened her eyes sluggishly as sunlight filtered through the window and into the room.

A new day.

Slowly, she collected her thoughts. Memories of the previous night came back to her.

Which made her remember where she was.

And made her realize she'd broken one of the first rules on her 'dating do's and don'ts' list: _never_ sleep with a guy on the first date.

Of course, there hadn't even _been_ a date, unless you count hanging out at a coffee shop with four other people as a date. Which she didn't.

Damn.

Ross was beside her, sleeping soundly, his chest rising and falling rhythmically. One of his arms was swung over her stomach.

She had meant to stop at that incredible second kiss last night. Or, at least stop by the seventh or eighth.

She was _so_ bad at sticking to a plan sometimes.

Rachel and Ross had somehow kept the kiss going for quite some time, and before she knew it, they were stumbling back into his bedroom, clothes were being strewn about, and, well, as they say, the rest is history.

Monica was going to grill her _so_ much on the reason why she didn't return to the dorm last night.

Rachel didn't regret it. No, she'd decided when Ross kissed her for the second time that she was going to make sure she didn't regret _anything_ she did when it came to him.

But right now, she was feeling pretty trampy.

She had flashbacks to high school. Sure, she'd only had sex for the first time at the beginning of her senior year (and with Chip, no less), but after that, she'd made the most of the rest of the year, and every time she and Chip were broken up, she'd easily get another guy.

It hadn't been _that_ many, but it was still enough to make her feeling a little ashamed in the present day.

Ross stirred, and his eyes blinked open slowly. When he caught sight of who his bedmate was, he looked confused at first, but then smiled a little. "Morning."

"Morning," Rachel replied quietly, feeling like she had to whisper or otherwise someone would hear them.

He noticed her hesitation and propped his head up on his hand, resting his elbow against the bed. "So, uh… this was kind of crazy."

"Kind of," Rachel agreed.

"Are you sorry we did… that?"

Rachel shook her head. "No. I'm just sort of wishing we maybe could have gone on a date first."

Ross nodded, deep in thought. "Yeah."

Glancing about the room, Rachel pushed some stray hair out of her face. "Maybe I should get going."

"Alright," he agreed.

The two got up and retrieved their clothes. Rachel dressed quickly, embarrassed.

Ross walked her to the door and opened it for her. She stood in the doorframe. "So." After that word, she waited. For what, exactly, she wasn't too sure. A promise to see her later? An ask-out? Maybe a dinner invite? Telling her he'll call her? Anything.

"Have a good day," he said slowly.

Rachel sighed to herself, turned, and began down the hallway. Maybe he was thinking she wasn't worth the wait?

Last night had been… well, _amazing_, to put it simply. If she had known what she had been missing all these years, she would've jumped Ross sooner. Did he think she wasn't that good? She'd always prided herself for her talents at… _the stuff_.

"Rachel!" he called before she could turn the corner towards the stairs, startling her out of her thoughts, which were quickly becoming quite dirty.

"What?" she asked, turning towards him.

Ross took a noticeable breath, and then exclaimed, in a rush, "I want you to be my girlfriend!"

He really didn't need to yell it for the whole floor to hear, but he did anyways. And even though she should have reprimanded him for disturbing his neighbors at this early hour, all Rachel could do was run back to him and throw her arms around his neck.

He kissed her once, twice, three times before he got a word in. "So is that a yes?" he asked, breathless.

Rachel laughed. "No. I just love to kiss guys when I'm rejecting them," she joked.

Ross held her out a bit and scrutinized her. "I'm serious. I want you to be my girlfriend."

"How formal," she commented, then said, "Well, I want you to be my boyfriend, so this works out pretty well." She smiled. "You know, I was about to leave here mad at you."

"Yeah, I guess it took me awhile to build up the courage to ask," Ross replied shyly.

"I'm glad you did," Rachel confided, giddy. She checked her watch. "Okay, um, I should really go, because Monica's probably already calling every person we know, trying to find out where I am."

Ross nodded in understanding and let her out of his arms. However, he still bent over to peck her on the lips. "I like being able to do that."

Rachel giggled, still feeling on top of the world from moments before. She started down the hallway, but called back, "You know what the best thing about this is?"

"What?"

"Well, we don't have to worry about sex," she said with a wink, and then departed.

The coming day looked like it was going to be a good one.

**XXX**

"Where _were_ you! God, Rach, you _freaked_ me out! I thought Ross was just walking you _home_! What _happened_! Did you two make up! Were you mugged! Is Ross okay!"

Rachel blinked as she entered her dorm, Monica in a pouncing position, shooting questions a mile a minute.

"Mon, Mon!" she called over her friend's exclamations. "Calm down, geez." She plopped down on her bed, still dazed.

Monica sat down on her own bed, watching Rachel. "Well? Are you okay?"

"I'm perfect," Rachel said.

"So you two made up?"

"You could say that."

"What does _that_ mean?"

"It means your brother asked me to be his girlfriend."

"Oh my _God_!"

Monica jumped up from her bed and rushed over to her best friend, who also stood, and the two women danced around the room together, squealing girlishly.

"This is great!" Monica decided loudly as they both collapsed, side-by-side, on Rachel's bed.

Rachel nodded. "This is _very_ great. Mon, your brother is just… there are no words. And he isn't too bad at-"

"Okay, whoa, too much information!" Monica yelled, cutting Rachel off.

As Monica babbled on about something-or-other, Rachel took the moment to reflect. She'd spent the last three months in a miserable depression over Ross. And in less than twenty-four hours, all of that had been flipped around, and now she felt like the happiest person in the world. She'd never experienced anything like what she was feeling now before.

It was something she was looking forward to getting used to.

Wanting to spread her joy, she told her roommate, "We should ask Phoebe if she wants to go out to dinner sometime, so we can get to know each other."

"Good idea," Monica agreed with a nod.

It didn't matter to Rachel that she was just twenty-one, a senior in college without a job, still attempting to redeem herself for how she had acted for the first eighteen years of her life.

She had Ross. And now that it was official, she was never planning on letting him go.

That fact didn't scare her at all anymore.

**XXX**

Rachel, Monica, and Phoebe made a dinner-date for the following weekend. The guys had said they were going to have a "boy's night", whatever that meant. Contemplating her hair in the mirror, Rachel reflected on their new friends, who were already fitting right in to the previously-established group.

Phoebe was kind of spacey, out-there, and said many weird things, but she was still fun and amusing, and actually quite normal for a person who lived on the streets for a long time. Joey, Rachel had noticed from the first time she'd met him, was definitely a womanizer. He was good-looking, and could really turn up the charm if he wanted to. He wasn't too bright, but Rachel guessed that most of the women he was going after didn't really care about that. He was the kind of guy she would've dated high school.

It had only been one week (or seven days, or approximately 168 hours, or roughly 10080 minutes, or around 604800 seconds) since she and Ross had officially become a couple. September 2nd was now their anniversary.

Not that Rachel cared that much about dates. Except, she did care with Ross, because she was hoping they would be celebrating this date for _years_ to come. Not that she was a hopeless romantic (she was).

They'd tried to make time for each other during the week, but it had been difficult, between her beginning classes and him working extra hours at the museum to make some more money. In the end, Rachel and Ross had only met up three times over the course of the last seven days.

Their first, _real_ date was set for tomorrow, and Rachel couldn't be more nervous.

She put that behind her as Monica finished applying lip gloss and threw it into her purse. "Let's go," she said to Rachel, who nodded, grabbed her own handbag, and shut the door behind them.

They'd decided to meet outside of the small restaurant they were planning to eat in, located only a few blocks away from the dorm.

"So, did Chandler say what they were going to do tonight?" Rachel questioned as she and Monica headed down the darkening street. Fallen leaves crinkled under their feet.

"Not really. Just that they were going to hang out at the apartment, order pizza or something," Monica replied. She glanced towards her best friend. "Hey, tomorrow's the night, huh?"

"Yeah," Rachel nodded, grinning just at the thought.

"So should I, uh, be expecting you to come back to the dorm?" Monica asked, trying to sound cool and casual and instead coming off as eager and not-so-subtle.

Rachel sighed. "Yes."

"Really?"

"Yeah. I decided over the week that I want to take things slow with Ross."

"But you two slept together already."

Sending a glare towards Monica, Rachel shook her head. "I know. I just mean… that happened so fast, you know? I want things to go slower now. I don't want to feel rushed."

"Good," Monica decided as they came upon the restaurant. Phoebe was waiting outside, playing the guitar, her case sitting open in front of her.

"Oh, hey guys!" she called when she finished her odd song and saw the two other women. "Oh, thanks," she said to a man that passed by and threw some change into her guitar case.

"Uh… watcha doin' there, Phoebe?" Monica asked slowly.

Phoebe cocked her head to the side. "I'm playing my guitar. Is it hard to tell?" The question was posed so honestly that Rachel didn't have the heart to retort something back.

"No, never mind," Rachel waved off, as Monica blinked.

"Okay, let me just pack up, and then we'll be set," Phoebe told them, and after she emptied the case of the money and placed the guitar inside, said, "Alright."

Once settled at their table, with Phoebe's guitar case set down against the wall they were next to, Rachel asked the question she and Monica had been dying to know all week.

"So, Phoebe, did you and Joey ever…" she trailed off, but raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Phoebe smiled a little and shrugged. "I don't usually kiss and tell…"

"Oh! You guys _so_ hooked up!" Monica declared triumphantly.

"Oh, no," Phoebe said. "I mean, once we kissed, but it was a friendly thing. I could _never _do that with Joey. I'm just not attracted to him in that way."

Rachel lifted an eyebrow as she perused the menu. "Oh, really? Well, what's your type?"

Phoebe considered. "Eh, it depends on their aura. As I always say, you should never date a guy with a murky aura."

Monica nodded. "Oh." The three sat in companionable silence for a moment, before Monica said, "This is nice. Just us girls. Usually it's just me and Rachel, but it's good to have a third person."

"Wow, do you guys not have any other friends?" Phoebe asked, completely serious.

The waiter came at that moment, and each put in their order.

"So tell us a little about yourself, Pheebs," Rachel said as their server was leaving the table. "We haven't gotten to ever really talk."

Phoebe grinned. "Okay! Well, um, my name's Phoebe Buffay, and I'm from New York-"

"How 'bout the smaller details?" Monica asked.

"Oh, well, okay," Phoebe agreed. "Uh, my mother killed herself when I was fourteen and left me and my twin sister to fend for ourselves."

"Oh, that's horrible," Rachel interjected, surprised.

"Yeah, it was sad. But also good, in a way! Like, uh, so, y'know, after she died, my step-dad was still in prison and my father walked out on us when we were little, so me and Ursula kind of went our separate ways, and I came into the city, and really learned some valuable things while I was living on the streets. I met some nice people, learned a little bit of French, and now I can really appreciate life much more!"

Monica touched Phoebe's arm. "That's all… incredible. How'd you end up living with your grandmother?"

"Oh, she had been living in Florida and didn't realize me and Ursula were on our own, so eventually she figured it out and moved to the city and let us live with her. Ursula moved out pretty quick after that, but I'm still with her! And, well, I met Joey, and now I'm working at a massage place a few blocks from my apartment."

"That's quite a story." Rachel could hardly believe that this eccentric woman sitting across from her had gone through all those terrible things.

"Eh, it happens to everybody," Phoebe waved off. "So, what's going on with you and Ross?"

Rachel couldn't stop the grin that spread across her face at the mention of his name. "Actually, we just decided to date a week ago."

"Yeah, I know _that_, but I want the juicy details. Fill me in!" Phoebe demanded good-naturedly.

"Well, we've known each other for as long as I've known Monica, so that's… a long time." Rachel couldn't even keep track of the years anymore. "And so while we were growing up he had a major crush on me, but I was sort of…"

"A self-absorbed bitch," Monica put in helpfully.

Rachel glared at her for only a second before continuing. "Right. So anyways, I didn't really give him the time of day, and, well, my boyfriend didn't show up to go to our senior prom, so Ross offered to take me, and he did, and we just had fun. And I guess, ever since then, I'd kind of started developing feelings for him and, now, here we are."

Phoebe nodded. "Wow! Talk about a fairy-tale story! Except in this case, Ross is the heroine." She turned to Monica. "So, what about you and Chandler?"

"Yeah," Rachel chimed in. "You've never really told me the story of how you two got together."

Monica blushed and re-folded her napkin. "Uh, well, y'know, when I first met him I liked him, but he was a big jerk so I stopped liking him, but since he was Ross' best friend we kept bumping into each other. When we started college and you and Ross became better friends," Monica nodded to Rachel, "we all hung out together a lot more, and, well, pretty soon our arguing wasn't actually meant to be hurtful, and it turned into flirting, and I started liking him again, and then right before your dad died we were just hanging out and there was one of those moments… and then he kissed me, which was very un-Chandler of him to do. So after that we sort of… got together, but then your dad died and we didn't want to say anything… and then you found out," Monica finished.

Rachel was surprised at this new revelation. Ever since her father's death nearly a year ago, she'd been so wrapped up in her own little world that she'd never gotten around to wondering when, how, or why her two friends got together. And now that she'd heard this story, she was beginning to question how she'd been acting as a friend lately; if she hadn't put aside enough time for "girl time", just two best friends hanging out. Now that Phoebe had joined the group, Rachel knew her time with Monica would be even more limited, and all at once, it hit her how much their lives were changing so rapidly.

"So, Pheebs, no meat?" Monica asked, casually switching topics.

"Oh, yeah, I'm a vegetarian."

"Really?"

"Yeah! I mean, animals are so cute and furry! I could never eat one, especially because I'd just be picturing their sad little faces while I took a big bite out of a part of their grilled or broiled or chopped up dead corpse."

Rachel set down the iced tea she had been about to drink. "Wow. I'm _so_ going to try to forget that whole statement while I eat my chicken."

The three fell into easy conversation, finding new things to talk about just as quickly as the last one had ended.

And though their lives were changing so quickly that Rachel almost felt like she couldn't keep up, she grinned as Monica and Phoebe bantered good-naturedly about music and looked forward to what was in store for them.

**XXX**

"So, you're with Rachel, huh?" Joey asked Ross as the three guys dug into their freshly-delivered pizza.

"Uh, yeah," Ross nodded through bites.

"Slept with her yet?" Joey questioned bluntly.

Ross blushed a little but shrugged. "Uh, yeah," he repeated.

"Cool."

"You, uh, seeing anyone?" Ross thought he was asking a normal question, and was surprised when Joey started laughing.

"Joey doesn't really "see" anyone, so much as sleep with them and then never call them," Chandler informed his best friend.

"Oh," Ross nodded.

Chandler cleared his throat. "So. Anyone up for some foosball?" He indicated the table they were using to eat on. The other two agreed.

And their male bonding was as simple as that.

**XXX**

**A/N II**: The last two scenes seem familiar? Ipurposely mirroredthem to the talks in TOW The List, with the girls getting into the details and the guys being... well, guys.


	14. Date

**Disclaimer**: Friends is not mine.

**A/N**: Well, it's been a while, guys. Hope you're all doing well. I'm officially on summer vacation, and my laptop is fixed, which means I'm hopefully going to be able to finish this story before school starts back up again.

This is short, but sweet.

**XXX**

"Rach, will you sit down? You're pacing so much that I can actually see a hole starting in the floor."

Rachel stopped her back-and-forth and placed her hands on her hips, looking at Monica, who was doing her homework on her desk.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm just nervous," Rachel confided, smoothing her soft-pink dress and unbuttoning and then re-buttoning her small, black sweater she was wearing over her outfit. Though it was the middle of September and pretty chilly out, Rachel had decided that this evening, fashion had precedence over weather.

"Ross is going to be here any minute, so just sit down and don't make any loud noises," Monica advised, turning back to her work.

Rachel let out a breath and sat on her bed. "So… what are you doing tonight?"

"Okay, apparently I'm not going to get any work done right now," Monica said to herself as she turned again. "Chandler and I are gonna catch a movie and then get some coffee with Phoebe and Joey at Central Perk."

"Oh. Fun," Rachel said distractedly, staring at the door.

"So, uh, where are you and Ross going?"

"I'm not really sure," Rachel replied, jiggling her leg in anticipation. "Dinner, and then he said maybe a walk in Central Park." She smiled, thinking of her new boyfriend.

"Romantic," Monica commented.

A knock came from the other side of their dorm door, and at the sound Rachel jumped up from her sitting position, nearly stumbling over in her heels. She took a deep breath and smoothed her dress again. Monica stood back, watching.

"Hey," Ross greeted with a goofy grin once Rachel opened the door.

Rachel stared at him for a long moment, mesmerized by how wonderful he looked. Monica cleared her throat and Rachel finally blinked. "Oh, uh, hi," she said shyly.

"Hey Mon," Ross called to his sister, nodding to her. He then extended his arm towards his girlfriend. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah. Yes," Rachel affirmed, adjusting the strap of her purse over her shoulder and linking her arm with Ross'.

"Now don't keep her out too late," Monica said jokingly, smiling at her best friend and her brother. "I want you home at a decent hour."

"Yes, Mom," Rachel nodded with an eye roll. As she closed the door, she shot one more grin towards Monica. "Bye."

"Have fun."

Ross decided to take a bold step and reached for Rachel's hand once they were walking down the street. All she could do was look down towards the ground and blush, which she hoped he didn't notice in the darkness.

"So where are we going to dinner?" she finally asked, needing something to say instead of walking in the silence between them.

"Oh, uh, just this little place my parents love. They recommended it."

"Oh. So you, uh, told them about us?" Rachel's voice was quiet and she tried to focus on Ross' words, not his warm hand holding hers that was making her want to grin like an idiot.

"Uh, yeah, actually," Ross replied, giving a nervous chuckle. "Is that, uh, okay?"

"Of course," Rachel said. She waited a beat, then asked, "What'd they say?" She didn't want to admit out loud that she prayed for their approval, but deep down she felt their view on her newfound relationship with Ross was even more important than her mother's.

"They were really happy," Ross told her, his eyes twinkling. "In fact, I think my mother used the word 'thrilled'. She said if she could choose anyone in the world for me, it'd be you."

Rachel laughed, and inside she was doing a dance of joy. Jack and Judy were like surrogate parents to her. "Well, then, we better not disappoint them by finding you someone else that's better for you than me. I'll just have to keep you forever," she joked, and then realized what she'd just said and how it sounded.

Ross didn't change the subject or clear his throat uncomfortably or take his hand from hers. Instead, he just said sincerely, "Yeah, I guess we're stuck together now."

At his words, Rachel's heart began beating again. The sentence she'd just spoken had worried her; she didn't want Ross to feel as if he had to commit to her fully and that they were forever.

Though, forever wasn't sounding so bad.

_But what does that mean, _she wondered as they kept walking down the street. Did it mean she wanted to be with Ross _forever_? They'd been dating a week, she couldn't be considering the rest of her life. Sure, she liked him a lot. He was sweet and cute and dorky and was different from any other guy she'd been with. Sure, maybe she _did_ feel a little more than just 'like', if she were being completely truthful, but that's normal. Right?

Her train of thought jumped to the only conclusion that was in her mind.

Was she in _love_?

"Here we are," Ross declared as they walked down a few steps and he opened the door for her, letting her into a below-ground level restaurant.

Rachel had never been in love before. She'd never said the words "I love you" to anyone, other than her parents when she was young and Monica when they got very emotional. She'd never even _considered_ saying it to a guy. What made Ross so different that that was the only reason she could come up with for why she was acting and feeling how she was?

The waiter seated them and Ross pulled out her chair for her, then pushed it in once she was sitting. Each table had a small, lit candle on it, and the lights were dimmed low enough to give the restaurant a romantic glow. Ross took a seat across from her with a smile, and accepted the menu and drink selection from their waiter. He offered it to her and let her pick the wine. He made small talk that didn't leave Rachel feeling uncomfortable. He told her a story about his day, making her laugh at one of his co-worker's antics.

_That_ was why she thought she was in love. He was easy to be with. He already knew nearly everything about her. He made her feel important. He was her Ross, and she was his Rachel, just as it had been for practically three years. All that was left was for them to slip from their 'friendship' zone into a 'dating' zone.

As Ross clumsily dribbled some water down his chin and gave her a Man-I'm-A-Dork look, Rachel knew the transition wouldn't be difficult at all.

**XXX**

"…And he kissed me, and that was it."

"Wow," Monica breathed as Rachel finished the story of her first date with Ross a day later. The two women had gone out shopping and were heading back to their dorm. "I'm so glad you guys are dating."

"Me too," Rachel agreed with a grin, which turned into a smirk as she said, "Y'know, you got in later than I did last night. Chandler need some help with something?"

Monica rolled her eyes and swatted her best friend. "Now, now, be nice. He's been my boyfriend for much longer than Ross has been yours. I'm allowed to stay out later with him."

"Oh, okay," Rachel nodded, still smirking. She stuck her key into the lock of their doorknob and turned, then shoved the door open, her arms laden down with bags. Monica followed her in, equally drowning in purchases.

They both dumped their cumbersome bags on their respective beds, and Monica fell into a chair. "That was exhausting."

"Rookie," Rachel mumbled, but at Monica's raised eyebrows, just shook her head.

"Okay, well, I told Chandler I'd meet him twenty minutes ago, so I should probably get going," Monica said, sitting up again.

"Alright. Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Rachel called after in a sing-song voice.

Monica smirked as she was shutting the door. "Well, that leaves me a lot of room." The door was closed by the time Rachel threw a pillow in her friend's direction.

Their answering machine was blinking, signaling for Rachel to press the 'play' button to hear the new message.

"One new message," the machine told her. "First message: '_Rachel, sweetheart, it's your mother. I was hoping you could come home tonight, there's something I wish to speak to you about in person. It's rather important, so the sooner you could come, the better. See you later, dear._' End of message."

Rachel blinked. The message had been very vague, and her mother's voice gave no hint to any sort of emotion at all. Was something wrong? Did something happen to Jill or Amy? Did her mother find out she has an incurable disease? Was someone dying?

Thinking the worst, Rachel grabbed her purse from when she'd thrown it on her bed, and rushed out of the room, hardly registering locking the door behind her.

**XXX**


	15. Friends

**Disclaimer**: Friends is still not mine. I'm trying though, believe me.

**A/N**: Ah, you reviewers are incredible! (And for those of you reading who also reviewed _Start of the Future_- thank you also!) Hope your summers are going well!

So, I'm departing tomorrow for a two-week vacation, thus updates will not be happening for quite a while, since I'll have no way to really write while I'm gone. However, to try and compensate, I'm leaving you all with a long-ish update that will hopefully tide you over. And, let me remind you before you begin reading chapter: this is an _AU_ fic, so just the fact that Ross and Rachel went to prom together changed a lot of stuff that didn't _just_ affect them. Some characters are going to be represented in a different way... but all will be explained. You'll understand who I mean when you're done :)

**XXX**

There was an unfamiliar car parked in the driveway when Rachel pulled up, the sun having set during her trip to Long Island. Her mind was racing with possibilities: was it a distant relative? Was it a house-call doctor? Had her mother found a new man and they were getting married and she wanted to tell her daughters in person and that was her future step-father's car?

_Alright, Rach, you're being ridiculous_, Rachel thought to herself, calming her nerves as she pulled the key out of the ignition and got out of the car.

Her mother never left her messages at the dorm. The only time she'd ever done it before was when Leonard Green had had his fatal heart attack.

_Please be fine, please be fine_, Rachel wished as she opened the large front door and entered the foyer. A maid, who had been dusting off to one side, turned in a surprised whirl towards the newcomer.

"Hi," Rachel greeted. The maid was new; she didn't know her name. "Um, I'm Rachel Green."

"Hello," the maid responded, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "I'm Gwen."

"Oh. Nice to meet you," Rachel nodded, glancing around the foyer for any sign of her mother or a mystery man or hospital bag or burglar or anything that would explain the message on the machine in her dorm or the strange car parked in the driveway. "Is my mother around?"

Gwen seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at those words, having been confused before by the woman who had stumbled into the house unannounced. "Yes, she's in the sitting room."

"Thanks," Rachel said, and, as she passed Gwen, asked, "Uh, is someone in there with her?"

"I think so," the maid replied, considering. "Yes, a young man showed up about half an hour ago, and Mrs. Green seemed very pleased to have him come."

"Oh great, she's marrying a younger man," Rachel mumbled to herself, putting a hand to her forehead momentarily. "Thank you very much, Gwen," she finally said, and then walked through the hallway that led to the sitting room.

"Rachel, darling! You came!" Sandra said enthusiastically as she spotted her daughter entering the room. She stood and glided over to Rachel, giving her a quick hug before sitting back down.

Rachel shot her mother a polite smile before turning her attention to the man sitting in one of the armchairs. He looked familiar…

"Dear, you remember Barry Farber, don't you?" Sandra asked pleasantly, looking back and forth between her daughter and her guest.

"We went to camp together," Barry said as he stood and awkwardly shook Rachel's hand. "I was at your father's funeral."

"Oh, right! Barry, of course!" Rachel realized, also remembering how she had found this man to be fake a bit smarmy.

"Barry is studying to become a dentist," Sandra informed.

"Actually, an orthodontist," Barry corrected. Rachel nodded in false interest, still standing while Barry and her mother had returned to their seats.

"Please, darling, sit, sit!" Sandra commanded in a lighthearted tone Rachel hadn't heard her use in years. "Dinner will be served soon, and this is the perfect time for you two to catch up!"

"Um, Mom, can I speak with you for a second?" Rachel questioned through gritted teeth, keeping the fake smile plastered on her face. _This_ was why her mother had left a cryptic message at her dorm, making her fear the worst? She had worried herself for _this_?

"Well, dear, we have company, if you hadn't noticed. It would be quite rude-"

"Mom," Rachel interrupted in a hard voice. "Please."

"Alright. Make yourself comfortable, Barry."

"Thanks, Mrs. Green," Barry replied with a grin, shooting another appraising look towards the younger woman in the room. "I will."

Rachel stalked out of the sitting room and into her father's old study. She took a quick glance around the room and noticed that practically everything was where it had been when he'd still been alive. His desk was still in the same spot with the same green lamp sitting atop it, his bookshelves were still filled with literature of every type, and the chairs were still set about the study in the same way. It was like time had stood at a standstill.

Sandra shut the door behind her, and then placed her hands on her hips as she turned towards her daughter. "Rachel, what is going on?"

"What is going on?" Rachel repeated, annoyed. "What is going _on_? Mother, you leave me a mysterious message on my answering machine, which is weird enough in itself since you _hate_ leaving messages, and so I rush home from the city because I'm thinking that something horrible has or is going to happen, and I get here to find that I went through almost an hour of traffic to have dinner with you and a guy I barely knew as a kid?"

"Well, I'm sorry if the message spooked you, but I wanted you to come home. I don't get to see you girls that much anymore," Sandra said as she placed a hand on her daughter's upper arm. "And Barry is home visiting his parents, and I thought it would be nice if the three of us had dinner together. He's one of your oldest friends-"

"Uh, he's not exactly on my Christmas card list," Rachel pointed out. "I _never_ considered him a friend, even when we were at camp."

Saying those words made Rachel wonder about what her real friends were doing now. God, she hadn't even left Monica a note or anything to tell her where she had gone. And Ross… oh, they were supposed to watch a movie together tonight! She hated disappointing her boyfriend, but at this rate she'd never be home in time…

"Well, you're both adults now. Maybe you can become friends now. Maybe… more," Sandra added.

Rachel raised an eyebrow. "More?"

"Dear, you're nearly done with college. Now I understand before now that you've wanted to have fun, but I really think you need to start planning your future."

"Planning my future?"

"Yes," Sandra nodded, wandering over to the dusty bookshelves. "What are you going to do after graduation?"

Rachel considered. She'd been so wrapped up in her newfound relationship with Ross that she hadn't had much time to think about her future. "Well, I'm majoring in fashion. I'll probably get a job involving that."

Sandra looked nearly scandalized. "A job? Darling, jobs are fine for some people. But you have the chance to get complete financial security."

"How?" Rachel asked. This was certainly news to her.

"If you'd just _consider _looking at one of the men from our circle…"

Oh. Rachel suddenly knew exactly what her mother meant, and she wasn't liking the suggestion one bit. "I am _not_ going to marry the son of one of your snooty rich friends just so I won't have to work."

"So you _want_ to work?" Sandra inquired in a knowing tone.

If Rachel were being completely honest with herself, she'd admit that she wasn't exactly looking _forward_ to joining the real world by way of a job. But she'd never let her mother know that.

"Yes. In fact, I was offered a paying internship by Bloomingdales to help in sales," Rachel shot back.

It wasn't entirely a lie. There _was_ an internship at Bloomingdales in sales. The only problem was that there were at least ten other people vying for the spot from colleges all over the northeastern seaboard, including Rachel herself, and they wouldn't find out who got it until early springtime.

"Even so, dear, you aren't going to want to work forever, are you? What about a husband, a family? Wouldn't you want to be home to raise your children?"

Rachel could not figure out what had gotten into her mother to make her ask all these probing questions. A husband? _Children_? She wasn't even sure she _wanted_ children! "I don't know! I guess I do, someday." She paused. "Mom, what is this all about? Why can't you accept my choices?"

"Because I don't want you to have to struggle in life, Rachel," Sandra said honestly. "And I know Barry, or someone like him who's already secured a bright and promising future, will make sure you're taken care of."

Rachel shook her head. "But I don't _want_ to marry any of them! I'm twenty-one!" God, why couldn't her mother _hear _her?

"When I was twenty-one, I was practically engaged to your father," Sandra told her, and Rachel's curiosity peaked a bit as she noted the slightly bitter undertone in her mother's voice. "And right now, you don't even have a boyfriend!"

"Yes, I do!"

In the silence that followed this sudden declaration, Rachel's eyes bulged and her mouth formed a small 'O'. She had _not_ meant to mention Ross. She had made a very conscious effort to not bring him up in _any_ sort of conversations she'd had with her mother lately. But she was so riled up; she never could have stopped those words from firing out of her mouth.

It wasn't that she was afraid her mother wouldn't like him, no, Sandra had known Ross practically his entire life, since she was friends with Jack and Judy Gellar. However, what Rachel _was _concerned about was how her mother would feel about her daughter _dating_ him. As much as Sandra liked the Gellars, they still weren't as high up in the social and economic ladders as the Greens were. Ross was just starting to work on his career, and definitely wouldn't have as many openings and connections to help him along faster than someone like Barry.

Sandra looked slightly taken aback, and had moved a hand up to her throat. "You _do_ have a boyfriend? Why haven't you mentioned him before now?"

"It's… it's new," Rachel said. "Very new. And he's… important to me. I didn't want to jinx anything."

"Well?" Sandra watched her daughter expectantly. "Who is it?"

Rachel took a slow breath. "Ross. Ross Gellar."

Sandra's face turned to surprise again. "Oh," was all she said.

At this point, Rachel wanted nothing more than to get out of there as quickly as possible. "Do you see now why I don't want to be here, eating dinner with you and Barry? I already have a boyfriend, one I care very much about, and I am _not_ looking for a new one."

"Rachel…," Sandra started again, in a pleading tone that made her daughter want to roll her eyes. "You know how much I adore Ross. But he's just graduated, and trying to get on his feet. What does he do? Something with dinosaurs…"

"He's a paleontologist," Rachel corrected huffily. "And he's is going to be getting his PhD in a few years! Barry just graduated too, didn't he? What's so different about him?"

"Well, dear, his parents have made sure he's… taken care of," Sandra said.

Fuming now, Rachel just shook her head. "You know what Mom? I'm done with this conversation. I'm dating Ross whether you like it or not, which you _should_ like, because you already know his family and what a sweet guy he is. I'm not going to have dinner with Barry, because I'm not interested." She turned and headed towards the door. With one hand on the knob, she twisted her head back towards Sandra. "I'm going to leave now, because otherwise I may say or do something that I'll regret."

"Rachel, please," Sandra pleaded, stepping towards her daughter. "Just hear what I'm saying, sweetheart…"

"No. I'm sick of you meddling in my life. At least when Dad was alive you were too busy fighting with him all the time to pay much attention to me." Rachel turned the knob and opened the door. "I'll call you when I've cooled off. Goodnight."

She rushed out of the room, feeling proud, and also a little ashamed of herself. She'd finally stood up for herself against her mother. She just hoped that Sandra would get the hint to start backing off.

"Pulling the old 'walk in, see the guy, and leave' trick?" a voice asked, and Rachel whipped around as she was heading down the driveway towards her car to see Barry, shadowed in the darkness of the late evening.

"I'm sorry, Barry, but I think my mother may have led you to believe that I was looking for someone," Rachel said, fumbling with her key chain to find the key to her car.

"So this date was really that bad? We didn't even have a drink," Barry pressed, sending her a smile he must have thought was charming, but Rachel found to be creepy.

"No. It's just, I actually have a boyfriend."

Barry's eyes seemed to flash, but Rachel wasn't sure if it was a trick of the outside lights. "Why's he so special?" he questioned.

Rachel could not believe all the interrogation she was receiving this evening. She certainly was on the brink of outright hating Barry Farber, her mother just a step behind (but only because the woman had given her life). "If you must know, I have been falling in love with him since he took me to my senior prom after my boyfriend bailed to cheat on me." She felt a blush sweep across her cheeks, and was glad the darkness hid it. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to leave before someone loses an eye."

"I guess I'll see you around," Barry called to her as Rachel got in the driver's seat of her car and started the engine.

She took one last look back at the house and saw the light in her father's study shut off. Her glance roamed over to the man standing awkwardly in her driveway, still smirking a little.

A shiver went down her spine, and somehow Rachel knew this evening was just the tip of the iceberg.

**XXX**

Ross blinked a few times, trying to keep himself focused on what was in front of him. He was currently skimming over some files for work, but his attention kept straying from the text in front of him to other thoughts.

Thoughts such as his sister and best friend, who seemed to be growing closer as each day passed. He wondered what their future would be; he wasn't against them getting married. It would actually be sort of cool, since then he'd be related to Chandler. Plus, he was comforted in the fact that he knew beyond a doubt that Monica would be in good hands.

He also kept considering Joey and Phoebe. Though neither had ties to anybody else in the group prior to Joey moving in with Chandler, they both fit in as well as if they had been along for the entire ride so far. He was slowly beginning to count both of them as people he could always depend on.

But the one main thing his mind kept drifting to was Rachel. He couldn't help it; she was intoxicating. When she wasn't around he found himself missing her, and when she _was_ around he felt as if he couldn't get enough of her.

Was this what real, true love felt like? Ross couldn't be sure, but if it was, he didn't mind it at all.

A knock on his apartment door allowed him to finally put his work papers down and out of his mind without feeling guilty as he went to unlock the door.

As he caught sight of who was on the other side through the peephole, he hurried to undo the large deadbolt and swiftly pulled the door open to allow entrance to just the person he had been wanting to see all night.

"I thought you weren't coming," Ross said as he stepped back so Rachel could get inside. "So I had started to go over some stuff from work, but we can still watch the movie…"

He trailed off as he noticed his girlfriend's hunched posture and distressed look. "Hey, what's wrong?" he asked gently as he pushed some hair behind her ear.

"It was just…" Rachel brought her head up so she could take in his face. "Just a crappy evening," she finished. "I needed to see you. I'm sorry I broke our date."

"It's fine," Ross insisted, letting his hands rest at the curve of her hips. "And you can always come and see me. It definitely brightens up my day."

"Thanks, Ross," she mumbled out, letting him envelop her in a comforting hug. When she pulled back, she kissed his cheek. "Just seeing you is making me feel better."

"That's actually one of my super powers," Ross joked, smiling. "It's how I get all of my girls." At Rachel's eye-roll, Ross shrugged. "Well, it's how I got you."

"Right," Rachel nodded.

Ross leaned his head down and gave her a soft kiss. He was pulling back as Rachel threw her arms around his neck and brought his lips back to meet hers again. This went on for some time, until Ross breathlessly asked, "Uh, do you want to stay? Tonight?"

Rachel looked torn. "Ross, we haven't…," she trailed off, and he understood what she meant, "since we first got together." Although it had been just over a week ago, it almost seemed months to both.

"I'm sorry, you're right, I shouldn't have suggested it," Ross began, backing off and waving his hands. "You want to go slow, and I'm totally disrespecting that…" He glanced back at her. "Let me walk you home."

Waiting a beat, Rachel mulled over her choices. Only one seemed very appealing at the moment.

"I'll stay," she said with a grin, taking his hand in hers.

**XXX**

October flew by, as did Ross' twenty-third birthday, which they threw a small party for just after he had sent in his application to NYU's graduate school program so he could pursue his PhD the following fall. The six friends also celebrated Phoebe's birthday just after Ross's by taking her out to a fancy restaurant. Joey and Chandler threw a costume party on Halloween at their apartment and invited nearly everyone they knew, and somehow only ended up with three pieces of broken furniture by midnight of November first.

Mid-terms came and went, and when they were finally over with, Rachel and Monica were able to relax and prepare for the upcoming holiday season.

Jack and Judy Gellar were going to be spending Thanksgiving in Florida, where Nana was finalizing contracts on her new condominium. Since neither Ross nor Monica could afford plane tickets to join them, they were going to stay in New York, and, with permission from Nana, were going to eat in her apartment. Soon Phoebe and Joey were invited to join the siblings, and just after them Chandler was added to the group when he found that his mother was going to be traveling and his father was to host the first annual 'Dresses Only Thanksgiving Dinner' in Las Vegas.

Rachel had been unsure about what to do herself. On the one hand, she wanted to spend the holiday having fun and eating Monica's amazing cooking at her grandmother's awesome apartment. But on the other hand, her mother's sister always had a large soiree on Thanksgiving, and after celebrating with the Gellars the past few years, Sandra had begun pestering her daughter about when she was going to return.

Of course, Rachel hadn't truly spoken to the elder Green woman since their fight in the early fall, save for a few quick, stilted conversations over the telephone.

Having Thanksgiving with the gang won out.

"Guess who's a lesbian?" Chandler asked in way of greeting as he entered Central Perk and approached his friends the day before the holiday.

"Normal people usually opt to words such as 'hello' or 'hey' when they see people they know. Why can't you stick to those?" Monica questioned as her boyfriend sat beside her on the orange couch.

Joey, on the other hand, looked excited. He leaned forward on the chair he was sitting on. "Who's a lesbian? Who's a lesbian!"

Chandler shook his head. "You guys will never believe this."

"Is it Rachel or Monica?" Phoebe looked back and forth between said women suspiciously from her place on Monica's right side.

"No!" Chandler shouted, and then paused. "Though that is a pretty nice image."

Monica hit him on the chest just as Rachel leaned over from the armchair to slap him upside the head.

"Just tell us who it is!" Joey cried anxiously.

"Well, it's-" he started, and then stopped. "Wait, where's Ross?"

"Bathroom," Rachel answered.

"Okay, we've got to wait for him before I say it," Chandler said. "_His_ reaction is most important."

"Oooh, is it Ross?" Phoebe sent Rachel a sympathetic glance.

"Is what Ross?" the man they were speaking of inquired as he took his spot back on the armchair with Rachel on his lap.

"Shut up so Chandler can tell us who the lesbian is!" Joey interjected. "Dude, give me her number after this."

"Okay, get this. The lesbian is… Carol."

Monica and Rachel gasped. Ross, however, began laughing.

"Yeah, right," he chuckled out. "Yeah, okay, 'hey, Ross, your ex-girlfriend is a lesbian!'. Sure. Man, Chandler, you're really losing your touch if you have to resort to this kind of stuff."

"I'm not joking!" Chandler said defiantly. "I ran into Linda Hoyle earlier today, and she told me! She said Carol realized it right after graduation!"

"Who is Linda Hoyle?" Phoebe asked.

"Carol's old roommate," Monica clarified for her. "That girl was always honest, even if it hurt. She couldn't tell a lie; something about Pinocchio and her nose being big enough or something. She must be serious."

Everyone turned towards Ross.

"Of course _I_ dated the gay one," he finally proclaimed miserably, and buried his head in Rachel's hair.

"Wow," Rachel said. "I can't believe I was actually jealous of her at one time."

"I always knew there was something off about her," Monica chimed in.

Phoebe looked thoughtful. "I should set her up with my friend Joyce."

"Hey, Ross," Joey said, getting his attention. "Do you still have her number?"

"Joey!" all except Ross groaned out.

Chandler glanced around at the quiet group. "So… how 'bout that Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, huh? Heard that's kind of a big deal," he said cheerfully, filling the silence.

He was met with five pairs of rolling eyes.

**XXX**

"Rachel? What are you doing?" Monica questioned carefully as she came out of the bathroom and stepped over to the small kitchen area in her grandmother's apartment.

Rachel sheepishly pulled her hand back from the cook book she had been peering at. "I was just looking!"

"What did I tell you about touching things while I'm cooking?"

Letting out a long and loud sigh, Rachel said in a bored tone, "Don't go near any of Monica's creations, dishes, or cook books when she's in the middle of cooking."

Monica smiled sweetly. "That's my girl. I swear, you're almost as bad as Chandler."

"What was that?" Chandler called as he heard his name from his spot on Nana's old, blue couch. He was flipping back and forth between the parade and the football game with Ross and Phoebe.

"Nothing, dear," Monica cooed back at him, and then brandished her ladle at Rachel. "You have to understand, Rach, we live in a _dorm_. There is practically _no_where for me to express my major! This is one of the only chances I get all year! I don't want anything to get messed up. Now, I love you, but get out of the kitchen before I beat you with this ladle."

"I'm going, I'm going," the dark-blonde mumbled, and she made her way into the living room. "God, she won't even let me make dessert," she informed the others.

"Uh, Rach, the last dessert you made ended up giving your dog food poisoning," Ross pointed out. "Remember? Le Poo ate most of it before it was even served?" He leaned towards Chandler and whispered, "That dog definitely saved a few lives that night."

Rachel chose not to respond to his story, and instead began a discussion with Phoebe about past lives.

"Hey, Joey, did you check on the pies?" Monica asked as the Italian entered the apartment.

Joey looked guilty as he shrugged. "Uh, yeah. I checked on the… pie."

"There was more than one in there," Monica said slowly.

"Really?" Joey's voice rose in pitch slightly. "Uh, no, I only saw one…"

"Joey! Did you eat the second pie?"

"No!" Joey looked about the room franticly. "Uh, uh, Chandler did!"

"Stop mentioning my name back there!" Chandler called out. "I can still hear you!"

He shook his head and tuned out Monica as she began berating their friend in the kitchen. Phoebe was explaining to Rachel about one of her past lives that she remembered. Ross was sitting quietly, looking thoughtful as he went back and forth between watching the parade on the television and stealing a glance at his girlfriend.

Chandler grinned to himself suddenly, for the first time in a long while feeling completely content with his life. It seemed as if everything was really coming together, and having four great friends and a loving girlfriend made his future seem just a little better as each day passed.

"Chandler? Did you disrupt the order of ingredients I had strategically placed out on the counter?" Monica asked, and Chandler could tell by the way her voice rose in fake-niceness that she was mad.

"Uh…" he uttered, and then said, "I made them into a turkey shape?" Chandler avoided eye contact and tried to get himself to really focus on the parade as his girlfriend shot daggers at him.

Okay, so he had four great friends and a loving girlfriend who didn't like his jokes. It was still better than most.

An hour later the six were sitting down for their first big holiday dinner together.

As Monica finally took a load off and sat at the head of one of the two tables that had been pushed together to accommodate the six friends, Phoebe tapped her raised wine glass, and the others quieted down.

"Alright, quiet, quiet!" she instructed. "Okay, I'd like to propose a toast to Monica for making this amazing Thanksgiving meal. Even though I don't eat turkey, since I'm a vegetarian and could never imagine taking a bite out of something that at one time had been a living, breathing animal with blood running through it's veins and internal organs-"

"To Monica!" Ross interrupted quickly, and everyone half-heartedly chorused the toast, slightly disgusted by Phoebe's graphic words.

Joey glanced around at the group. "You know, I'm really thankful for all of this today. Especially this turkey, even though it's kinda small, don't you think? I mean I could eat this thing by myself!"

"Hey! We should go around in a circle and everyone can say something they're thankful for today," Phoebe suggested, and the others murmured their consent.

Monica beamed at the group. "I'm thankful for great family and friends, and the fact that I'm almost done with college."

Chandler, to her left, went next. "Well, I'm not the mushy type, but I'm thankful for you guys, and for a great girlfriend." He leaned over to kiss Monica lightly. "Who's very hot."

Joey gave Chandler a small clap at his last statement, and then said, "I'm thankful for my family, my friends, all of the things I have, and thongs."

"Well, I'm thankful for all of the possessions I have and how lucky I am to not be living on the streets anymore," Phoebe added after everyone had chuckled at Joey's 'thong' comment.

"I guess I'm just thankful for everything in my life, the good and the bad," Ross stated, shyly smiling at Rachel and lacing their fingers on top of the table.

Rachel let her eyes drift over all of those present at the table with her. "I'm thankful for being in my last year of college, for all of the things that I have, for new beginnings," she aimed that towards Ross, "and that I know I'll always be able to count on all of you."

Chandler raised his wine glass. "To friends."

"To friends," they all replied, clinking their glasses together in the center of the table.

And they all knew: this was forever.

**XXX**

In the words of Rachel: Au revoir!


	16. Revelation

**Disclaimer**: Friends is really, really not mine.

**A/N**: Ah, a long chapter to make up for the fact that I've been away for a long time. Also, I'm admitting it: this story is mostly Rachel. I can't help it! I love writing her for some reason. Plus, she was the one who changed the most after the prom. But, I really am trying to branch into other peoples' POVs, as you'll notice at the end of the chapter.

Big, humongous thank you to **Exintaris**, who pointed out to me that I've been spelling Gell_e_r wrong for... forever. I have no idea why I never noticed that; I feel like an idiot now. I'm going to go back and fix all those mispellings after I finish the story. And thank you all who have reviewed thus far, I really appreciate your feedback re: things you've liked or disliked.

I have no idea when this story is going to end. I've got a few more plot-bumps (I don't think those are real things...), but after I get through the notes I've jotted down, I'll try to finish it up.

**XXX**

"I love you."

The words were whispered in a tender voice as Rachel caressed Ross's cheek lightly with her hand. Her boyfriend was sleeping quietly beside her, and she was enjoying this early morning moment in between true darkness and true light outside. It was frigid, only a week before Christmas (Hanukkah was already over), and they had thrown an extra blanket over his comforter the night before when they'd gone to bed.

Rachel had spoken that statement out loud very few times before to Ross, but each time it had been while he was lost to the sandman. She'd recognized before then, of course, that she'd been _falling_ in love with him, but only recently had her views changed to show her that she was no longer falling. She was _in_ love with Ross.

What made her first really see the light shining upon this topic was when she began noticing, right after Thanksgiving, that she was spending a lot more time at his apartment instead of her dorm room. She'd taken to using the spare key he'd given her (in case of emergencies, Ross had insisted while his cheeks flamed) and doing her homework in the peace and privacy of his home, or attempting to make dinner for him if she didn't have class in the afternoon and he was working a little later than usual. Small things like him surprising her with lilies after a long day of studying, or picking up her favorite movie of the moment for them to watch, cuddled up on his tiny couch.

The biggest unconscious thing that she'd finally noticed, however, was the fact that even if they didn't have sex, she still slept over at his apartment, just so they could be together, and thus prompting her early-morning considerations of the man she was dating.

This fact was quite unlike any of her other relationships, where it seemed the motto was, "not screwin', not stayin'". But with Ross… she was happy to just feel his arm slung over her midriff in the middle of the night, giving her comfort and security she was fearful to even mention to him.

Sometimes she questioned to herself if he was as much of a goner about her as she was of him.

Rachel let out a little sigh, lying her head back down on the pillow she'd declared hers after the second time she had slept there. She idly wondered if Monica and Chandler ever watched each other sleep; it wasn't as creepy as she had once perceived, and it seemed almost natural that other couples may do this. She'd heard them mumble little "I love you"'s to each other when one of them was leaving or they thought nobody was listening. Rachel was glad her two friends had found such happiness in each other.

She smiled in spite of herself and had to roll her eyes at her own inner monologue, which was becoming more and more romance novel-like than she intended this early in the dawn.

A very short amount of time later there was a sharp intake of breath as Rachel reacted as quietly as possible when she heard a soft, sleep-laden voice say, "I love you too."

**XXX**

"Okay, I _get_ why Charlie Brown buys the dinky little tree instead of one of the other ones. What I _don't_ get is, why are the other ones different colors? I mean, a pink Christmas tree? How the hell do you grow one of those? Do they sell well?"

"For the love of God just shut up and watch Charlie Brown get picked on by the other kids!" Joey shouted at Chandler, who had been rambling on about different parts of the Charlie Brown Christmas movie the group was watching in the guys' apartment.

Chandler shot his roommate a glare and wrapped an arm around Monica, who was seated half on him and half on the armrest of the chair they were sitting on. He looked up at his girlfriend. "Why does everyone always yell at me for talking during movies?"

"Because you can't keep your comments to yourself," Monica clarified for him, not taking her eyes from the screen. "Pheebs, what are you humming?"

Phoebe looked up from examining her nails towards Monica. "Oh, sorry, just putting together a new song in my head."

"Oh? What's it called?" Joey questioned.

"I'm not sure… but it _is_ about a smelly cat," she replied.

"That sounds good," Ross said sarcastically from his spot on the floor.

Phoebe considered. "Hm. 'Smelly Cat'. I like it!"

"Oh! I love this part!" Rachel exclaimed from beside Ross as the characters on the television began singing together.

"I wonder if Charlie Brown had any Jewish friends," Ross pondered. "They celebrate so many holidays, and yet not Hanukkah."

"Speaking of celebrating," Monica said as she got up and stretched while Joey turned off the TV, "Sorry, Rach, but I can't make it to your mom's party tomorrow. I've got an interview with this new restaurant."

"Oh, it's okay," Rachel waved off as she got to her feet. She glanced towards Ross as he placed his empty beer bottle on the counter. "You're still coming, right, Ross?"

Ross nodded. "Yup. We're leaving at five?"

Phoebe wandered over to the kitchen area. "For where?"

Rachel sighed. "Well, my mom is having a Christmas party tomorrow for some family and friends, and by friends, I mean people from the club that are going to make snide comments about me all evening because I didn't join the sorority Kappa Kappa Delta in freshman year and am not currently dating one of the sons from their group."

"Your mom has some weird friends," Phoebe said as she grabbed a bottle of water.

"Well, at least your mom's friends aren't fellow romance novel writers or friends-with-benefits," Chandler interjected. "Or… drag queens, but that's my dad."

"Hey, Chandler, do you think we could fit a Christmas tree in here?" Joey asked from the other side of the room. He was focusing on a corner of the apartment.

"Sure. If we get rid of that table, couch, and lamp," Chandler answered. "Why do you ask, Joe?"

"Well, I thought it'd be nice if we had a tree, y'know? We could hang ornaments on it, but presents under it, eat cookies by it…," Joey trailed off dreamily.

"Eh, I don't know," Chandler said.

"C'mon, man! Just a little tree!"

"Oh! You could get one like Charlie Brown's!" Phoebe suggested excitedly.

"As much fun as this discussion is," Ross interrupted, "I've gotta get going. See you guys later."

Everyone wished him good-bye, except for Rachel, who followed her boyfriend into the hallway.

"Hey, why are you taking off so early?" she asked. Her heart rate had sped up considerably; they hadn't really been alone together since they'd said 'I love you' in the early morning the day before. Neither had been able to work up the courage to talk about it yet, and Rachel was beginning to find it all very stupid. Why should they be frightened?

A million reasons popped into her mind, but she ignored them.

"I've gotta go to the museum really early tomorrow morning to put together some last-minute stuff before this new exhibit opens," Ross replied, standing awkwardly with his arms limp at his sides.

"Right," Rachel nodded. "So… um… I guess I'll… see you tomorrow at five."

Ross nodded also. "Okay." He paused, and they stared at each other. "Uh, listen, Rach… this is stupid," he finally said, voicing her thoughts from moments before. "We can't just ignore what we, uh, said. To each other."

Rachel smiled a little. "I agree."

They stood in silence.

"I don't really know what to say about it, though," Ross admitted.

"Me neither," Rachel agreed.

"I guess… all I can really say is, uh, that… I love you."

Rachel's tentative smile turned into a brilliant grin. "I love you too."

Letting out a long gust of breath, Ross' face brightened. "That wasn't so hard. God, I've been dying to say that to you."

"I have too," Rachel said honestly. "It just never seemed like the right time. But… now that we've gotten it out of the way…"

"We don't have to worry about saying it anymore," Ross finished for her. He checked his watch. "I really better go, I promised my mom I'd call her like fifteen minutes ago."

"Okay. Goodnight," Rachel said as she stepped forward to give Ross a quick kiss. He was turning his back to head down the stairs when she added, "I love you."

He stopped and paused, and then twisted his head and shot her a shy smile. "Love you too," he replied, before disappearing down the stairs.

Rachel stayed in the hallway for another minute, grinning to herself and looking like an idiot. The door behind her opened and Monica and Phoebe both came out.

"Oh, hey, there you are. We thought maybe you left," Monica said as she stopped herself from walking into her friend. "What's going on?"

Rachel wanted to keep the moment that had just transpired a secret between she and Ross for as long as possible. She wanted to revel in the fact that he loved her just as much as she loved him. She wanted to go back to her dorm room and fall asleep and dream about an incredible future with the man she was in love with. Her mother had been right a few months ago when they had gotten into the fight: she _did_ want a husband and children and the picturesque life that Sandra had insisted she'd only achieve if she married an upper-class son of one of her friends. And she wanted it all with Ross Geller.

If she had ever considered that idea back in high school, she would've thought she was going crazy.

Waiting a long beat to reply, Rachel finally said, "Something really good."

"Well, there are a lot of really good things going on," Phoebe pointed out. "I mean, um, scientists finding cures for diseases, and animal shelters, and charities… what kind of good are we dealing with here?"

Monica was analyzing her roommate's far-off expression. "Are you high?"

"What!" Rachel shouted, coming back to reality. "No!"

"Just checking," Monica said, holding up her hands. "C'mon, it's late, we better get going. I've still got a few more things to pick up at the dorm before I head home."

"Aw, are we not finding out why she has that dreamy expression?" Phoebe complained as the three descended down the stairs.

Rachel smiled to herself. Her mother's party tomorrow evening was looking much better now that she knew at least one person who was going to be in that house loved her.

**XXX**

Standing at the beginning of the Green's walkway that led up to the front door, Ross tilted his head back and looked up at the sky as Rachel had a mini-freakout beside him.

"Oh, God, why did I say I would come? Why? How hard is it to say, 'No thank you, Mother, I'd rather not waste a night of my life being annoyed by your snobby rich friends and their children when I could be out shopping for Christmas presents or reading a good book or taking a walk through the snow or being run over by a cab or something. Did you not take the hint that I didn't really want to see you when I decided to stay at school over Christmas break?' Oh my God, who's car is that? Damnit, that car looks so familiar, I bet it's the Hanover's, they've always thought I was some sort of traitor for not becoming friends with their daughter, but I mean the girl was insane, all she cared about was ranting on and on about her stupid little dog and her stupid car and obviously she must have no real life if that's all she can talk about, which is really sad, but-"

"Rach, you've been out here rambling on for twenty minutes," Ross said loudly, talking over his girlfriend. "Nine people have passed by us. It is completely dark and starting to snow. My ears are frozen. I've lost feeling in my feet. By the time you finish the party will be over."

"There's an idea!" Rachel exclaimed.

"Can we just go in?"

"Fine."

Rachel took a deep breath, and then marched up the walkway until she was at the front door. Ross appeared beside her. "Now you place your hand on the knob and turn…" he instructed.

"Ha. Ha," she said, glaring. She twisted the knob, pushed open the door, and both were assaulted with a blast of heat and the sudden sound of too many people fit into a space too small.

The maid whose name Rachel recalled was Gwen was at their side the second they stepped in. "May I take your coats?"

"Oh, thanks," Rachel said absently as she handed over her coat, Ross doing the same.

"We're never gonna find your mom in this crowd." Ross' eyes scanned the packed room, taking in all of the faces, most of which he didn't know.

"Ah, you'll be able to tell she's coming. The air will probably begin to smell of disappointment," Rachel quipped.

"Oh my God! Rachel!"

Rachel spun ninety degrees at her name, and came face-to-face with her younger sister Jill. "Oh! Jill!"

"Hey!" she said merrily, and Rachel cringed at the whiff of alcohol she got as they hugged. "Oooh, who's this?"

"Uh, Jill, it's Ross. Remember him?" Rachel asked and Ross waved awkwardly.

Jill kept a smile on her face as she replied, "Not really. But he's cute! Oh, but that guy is _totally_ cuter. Didn't I date him once?"

Both Ross and Rachel turned their gazes towards where Jill was looking and spotted a sandy-haired guy that looked to be their age. Rachel scoffed. "Uh, actually, I think _I_ dated him once."

"Same difference," Jill grinned, and then began stumbling away. "Mom's looking for you in the kitchen!"

Rachel tensed. Great, so her mother was seeking her out now. They hadn't had a real conversation since the fight they'd gotten into in September. Who knew _what_ Sandra wanted to talk to her oldest daughter about now.

"Hey, look, there's Amy," Ross said, pointing towards a girl quite obviously flirting with a much older guy.

"Yeah, uh, I'll catch her later. Maybe we should-"

Rachel halted in the middle of her sentence, her eyes landing upon two figures she most definitely did _not_ want to see tonight. She averted her eyes quickly as two pairs of gazes found her in the crowd.

"We should what?" Ross prompted.

"Rachel Green!" a women's heavily New York-accented voice called, and Rachel had no choice but to confront it.

"Mindy!" she returned, showing fake enthusiasm as Ross stood, confused. "Look at you!"

"I know, right?" Mindy agreed, and then let out an obnoxious laugh. "And look at you too! God, I haven't seen you since summer after freshman year! So sorry about your dad, by the way," she added sadly.

"Oh, uh, thanks," Rachel stammered. _How do you respond to things like that?_, she wondered. Ross cleared his throat and Rachel reacted by saying, "Oh, uh, Ross, this is Mindy. Mindy, this is my boyfriend Ross."

"Nice to meet you," Ross stated, sounding truly genuine, a trait his girlfriend envied.

"A boyfriend! Well! Look at you, miss never-without-a-date!" Mindy exclaimed. She leaned towards Ross. "Y'know, way back when Rachel and I were great friends, she always had a guy hanging around."

Ross and Rachel chuckled uncomfortably. "Oh, I, uh, remember. I grew up down the street," he informed her.

"Aw, how cute! Very boy-next-door!" Mindy's never-tiring excitement was beginning to make Rachel weary. She felt herself fatiguing even more as the one man in the entire world she wished to never see again joined the threesome.

"Hey, Mind, here's a drink," Barry said, handing her a glass. "Rachel," he greeted with a nod.

"Hey, uh, Barry," Rachel replied. "You remember Ross. My boyfriend," she added quickly.

The two men shook hands. The four stood in tense silence for a moment before Ross broke it by saying, "Uh, I'm gonna get a drink, you want anything Rach?"

"Uh, just a glass of wine, sweetie, thanks," she responded. He departed, leaving Rachel to fend for herself against two bits of her past she couldn't seem to shake off.

"Barry and I are here together," Mindy stated suddenly.

"Oh. That's… uh… great." Rachel inwardly sighed in relief.

"Yeah, we got together a few months ago," she continued, resting a hand on Barry's arm. "Remember when we all went to camp together?"

"We had some good times," Barry said, wrapping an arm around Mindy's shoulders, and Rachel wondered if he did this only because he thought it would make her jealous. "So, that's the guy, huh?" he questioned with a false smile.

"Yes, that's the guy," Rachel nodded, remembering the night in September when he had asked her why Ross was so special, and she had explained that she had been falling in love with him since her senior prom.

"Very cute; very tall," Mindy praised. "Personally, I had always thought you'd end up dating one of our old friends."

"Yeah, well, sometimes people think wrong," Rachel said, keeping her tone light. "He's… he's really great."

"What does he do?"

"He's actually going back to graduate school in the fall to get his PhD in paleontology. He graduated _summa cum laude _from NYU," she finished proudly, happy to tell of her boyfriend's academic distinction. "Right now he works at a museum in the city."

"You know, Barry's in school to be an orthodontist," Mindy pointed out, petting her date's arm. "What are you gonna do after you graduate, Rachel?"

"Oh, um, something in fashion, probably," she replied. "You?"

"Well if everything goes right, I'm hoping to be Mrs. Barry Farber!" Mindy looked positively thrilled saying the words, and Rachel noticed Barry turn a shade paler than normal. "What about you, Rach? You think Ross is the one for you?"

Rachel took her time in responding as she let her eyes drift towards the mini-bar and bartender her mother must've hired for the event. Ross picked up two drinks from the counter and began to make his way back through the maze of people. His face was scrunched in concentration and his hair was obviously damp from the snow that had drifted on him while she had been ranting outside. He was wearing slacks and a dark blue shirt she had picked out for him.

God, she loved that man.

"He just might be," she confided, not able to contain the smile he brought to her face.

"Here's your drink," Ross said as he re-joined the small group and handed a glass of wine to his girlfriend. "The line took forever."

Mindy smirked back and forth between them. "Aren't you guys too cute!"

"Rachel, Mom's looking for you," Jill said again as she passed by them, the sandy-haired guy from earlier attached to her arm. "I think she was near Daddy's study."

Rachel bit her lip. Ross touched her shoulder and whispered, "Go ahead."

"Excuse me," she aimed towards Barry and Mindy, and departed with one last parting look at Ross, who was now being engaged in conversation by her old dark-haired friend.

She weaved in and out of clumps people, spouting greetings when someone called her name. The door to her father's study was opened slightly and Rachel could see her mother inside, a drink in hand, having an animated conversation with an older man. She spotted her daughter and shouted, "There she is! Rachel, come here!"

Rachel did as she was commanded and entered the study. The man standing opposite Sandra looked pleasant enough, and introduced himself as Gary Tibert. Sandra shooed him away with a promise of catching up with him later, and then finally both Green women were alone in the same room, the door closed.

"Great party," Rachel finally said, filling the silence that seemed to be pressing down upon them.

"Yes, quite a turnout," Sandra agreed with a nod. She was staring at her daughter with a small smile. "I'm thinking of making it an annual thing."

"Oh, yeah," Rachel replied with no interest at all. She idly wondered if Mindy had hit on Ross yet. If she was anything like she had been at camp, then the women had a knack for liking the same men Rachel did.

"Rachel, darling, I don't want it to be like this between us forever," Sandra said sadly.

"I don't really know what to say to you anymore, Mom," Rachel murmured honestly. "Ross is here, you know."

"I assumed," Sandra admitted. "Jack and Judy couldn't come."

"Yeah, they had another party or something," Rachel informed her mother. There was another long pause.

"Barry and Mindy are together now, did you hear, dear?" Sandra asked.

Rachel crossed her arms over her chest. "Yeah, actually Ross and I ran into them."

"I guess it's too late for you to change your mind, even if you wanted to."

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?" Rachel demanded, her temper flaring.

"I'm just saying," Sandra defended. "You know, most of the men and women you went to camp with have significant others, or are engaged."

"Well, good for them," Rachel muttered. "What is it with you and the people I went to camp with anyway, huh? You're always mentioning them."

"Well, it had always seemed like the boys you went to camp with were the ones who were going to be successful in life," Sandra said, resting her hand on top of Leonard's wooden desk.

"And we're back to this," Rachel interjected tiredly. "When are you going to accept that I am happy with my life? I like how it is; I like who's in it. I don't need you dropping hints every time we talk that so-and-so's son is available and awaiting my call, or giving me that 'financial security' crap."

"I'd hardly call financial security _crap_, as you so eloquently put it," Sandra said, sounding nearly scandalized. "You know all I want is-"

"The best for me, yes, I know, I got that memo a while ago."

"Have you given more thought to what you're going to do after graduation? Where you're going to live? You know you're always welcomed-"

"Actually, Monica's grandmother offered her an apartment. It's two bedrooms. Mon… asked me if I'd want to share it with her." Rachel shied away from her mother's gaze. She hadn't mentioned to anyone yet that she and Monica were making plans to move in together; they had wanted to wait until everything was sorted out before telling people. Neither Ross nor Chandler even knew.

"Oh. Where is it?" Sandra looked slightly put-out.

"In the Village. It's across the hall from Monica's boyfriend, actually."

"Well, that's… nice."

Rachel knew Sandra was just being polite. Deep down, she _also_ knew that Sandra really would like her daughter to move back home with her.

The thought made a wave of sadness come over Rachel. Her mother lived alone in this big house. She didn't even have a job; she was just living off the large sum Leonard had left. Her only companion at home was an aging dog. Two of her daughters didn't think of anyone but themselves, and one daughter just couldn't get her to understand that she was happy with her life.

"Mom?" Rachel asked slowly, quietly.

"Yes, dear?" Sandra seemed surprised by the sudden timid tone of her daughter's voice.

"Do you miss Dad?"

The question was a simple one, something Rachel had always expected a single-word answer for. But upon reflection of her parent's marriage, all the fighting they'd done and complaining of one another, she had started to wonder…

Only once before had Rachel ever voiced these worries out loud, and that had been quite a while ago, on a snowy evening to the man she hadn't even realized at the time would become the most important man in her life.

"I…" Sandra paused, staring at Rachel as if she was seeing her for the first time. She blinked, her eyes slowly growing watery.

"Mom?" Rachel finally prodded, the word barely above a whisper.

"I loved your father, Rachel," Sandra stated in a calmer tone than she appeared. "Completely. At least… I _thought _completely."

Something caught in Rachel's throat as she asked carefully, "What does that mean?"

"I thought I had married your father for love all those years ago," Sandra clarified, one of her hands moving to her neck to finger the pearl necklace hanging there. "But over time I started to realize that maybe… maybe I loved the idea of a future where I would always have whatever I wanted more than I actually loved your father. And your grandparents were happy about the match, and one of my biggest goals in life had always been to please my parents…"

The words were said with slight regret mixed with relief at being able to say them. Rachel could hardly believe what she was hearing. "You didn't love Daddy?"

"No, Rachel, no. I _did_ love your father. A part of me really did. But as time went on I realized that only part of me loving him wasn't enough. And I think he realized it too. And that's when we began arguing." Sandra turned away from her daughter so she was facing one of the large bookshelves that took up an entire wall.

"If you didn't fully love him, why did you even marry him?" Rachel inquired, almost afraid to hear the answer. A small part of her longed to go back in time, back to when Jill had mentioned that Sandra was in the study, when she had still been standing with Ross beside her.

"I wanted a good life. Is that a crime? I knew your father would give me a nice life."

Rachel's own words that she thought she couldn't remember from that snowy evening came back to her, assaulting her mind: _'I don't want to just settle for 'nice'. I want to have… everything. You know? Those feelings you get when you just know that being with that person is going to be great.'_

"You settled for 'nice'. He wasn't your… everything." It wasn't a question, but a statement.

"I honestly thought he was," Sandra assured with remorse. "But we both realized that that wasn't true." She rubbed her forehead. "I don't regret my marriage, darling. Or the years I spent with your father and you girls. But the truth is…"

Rachel held her breath. Her eyes were fighting back the flood of tears waiting to be let loose.

"Your father and I were planning on divorcing when he passed away."

"_What_?"

"We… we had had the papers drawn up and all that had been left was to sign them," Sandra continued, tears dropping from her cheeks and onto the desk.

Rachel wasn't sure what to do. Should she cry? Should she yell? Should she break something? Of course, when her father had been alive, she'd wondered to herself if they were ever going to separate down the road, but the idea had never seemed possible. They were Leonard and Sandra Green, her parents. How could they get divorced? If anything, Rachel had always thought they'd found divorce too much of a scandal that would be circulating the club to ever go through with it.

All couples fight, she'd rationalized.

How naïve of her.

"Oh."

It was the only thing Rachel could say.

"Darling, try to understand. Don't think we're horrible people," Sandra practically pleaded, taking a step towards her daughter.

"And all this time you've been trying to get me together with someone exactly like Daddy had been to you," Rachel said in a low voice, not sure whether to be disgusted or feel sorry for her mother.

"I just want you to have a nice life-"

"Oh, yeah, just like yours, right?" Rachel said bitterly.

"I had thought that maybe you'd actually fall in love with one of them!" Sandra explained. "That you'd have love _and_ security!"

"I don't… I can't… This is… I've got to go," Rachel finally muttered, making a beeline for the study door. She could hear the party out in the living room still going full swing.

"Rachel, please, don't just leave…" Sandra called after her.

"What should I do, Mother? What? You just dropped this _bombshell_ on me that you and Daddy were getting a _divorce_ right before he died, along with the fact that you two never really loved each other and that you want me to follow right in your footsteps! I don't even know how to _look_ at you, let alone _speak_ to you!"

Sandra had no comeback, and Rachel took the opportunity of silence to open the door and hurry across the living room towards the front door. By the time she had gotten outside, the tears were falling fast and mingling with the snow that was gently gliding down from the clouds overhead.

Minutes later a shadow appeared beside Rachel's hunched figure sitting on the stairs leading up to the front door. "Rach?"

"I knew we shouldn't have come," Rachel mumbled into her hands, which were covering her face.

Ross sat down beside her and touched her leg. "What happened?" he asked quietly.

"My life," she whispered back, burying her face in his shoulder. He wrapped his arms around her and let her cry.

**XXX**

"So what happened?" Monica asked Ross later that night as she eased the door to his apartment shut. Her brother had called her at Chandler's when he and Rachel had returned to his place and asked her to come over.

"I'm not totally sure," Ross admitted as he glanced at the wall he was standing beside, knowing Rachel was lying down on the bed on the other side. "We were talking with two of her old friends, Barry and Mindy-"

"Mindy? Wow, other than me, she was like, Rachel's best friend back in high school, even though she went to some sort of preppy private school or something," Monica said in recognition.

"Yeah, great girl. Likes to pinch butts," Ross added darkly. The moment passed and he moved on. "Then Jill walked by, said their mom was waiting for her in the study, and Rachel left. She was gone for a while, then she ran back out and I followed her, and she was crying on the front steps, and I got her keys and drove back here, and now here we are."

"Did she mention what she and Sandra talked about?" Monica asked, her face scrunched in puzzlement.

"Not really. As we were getting in the car she said something about 'settling for nice' and being 'hypocritical', but she was silent the rest of the ride back. I could tell she didn't want to talk to me yet, so I thought, since you're her best friend…"

"I'll talk to her," Monica said.

Ross let his eyes stray to the door. "Just… just make sure she's okay."

"I will," she promised, and kissed his cheek before entering the bedroom, where Rachel was lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"Remember when we were shopping one time and the guys saw those plastic, glow-in-the-dark stars you stick on your ceiling?" Rachel asked suddenly.

Monica chuckled slightly. "Yeah. They complained about how girly they were when we bought a few…"

"Yeah, they went back and bought some of their own and Ross stuck his on the ceiling."

Gasping, Monica's head immediately shot up. "What?" She inched towards the bed, her face still towards the ceiling, until finally she plopped down onto the bed also. "Those goons!"

"Well, you know the guys and their feminine sides," Rachel reminded her, shifting over in the bed to make room.

Monica glanced at her friend as she got comfortable in the space Rachel had made for her. "Rach… what happened tonight?"

"Oh, the usual," Rachel started, her moment of weakness that had been evident just minutes before masked by defensive sarcasm. "Took me almost a half hour to go into the damn house, then Jill and Amy paid no regard to anyone but themselves- surprise, surprise-, then Barry and Mindy joined Ross and I and we engaged in a very awkward conversation, and then…"

"And then _what_?" Monica prompted kindly.

"Well, then, of course, my mother had to go and dumbfound me with some startling revelation. God, I swear, sometimes I think my life is a TV show or a movie or something." Rachel closed her eyes, making her look as though she were peaceful.

Monica knew her best friend well enough, however, to recognize that she was working through something _big_ in her mind.

"Listen, Rachel, you seem tired… we can talk about this another time," Monica suggested, holding her tongue on the fact that she was _dying _to know what Sandra had said. But, good friends didn't push… too much…

"Unless you feel like you wanna talk now," she added as an afterthought. "Sometimes talking things out right after they happen can help a person to sleep easier. But, hey, if you're tired… it's your life, I'm just here to lend an _ear_ to _listen_ with…"

"My parents were going to get a divorce."

Monica stopped her babbling, and turned her head so she was facing Rachel, who was still staring at the ceiling. "A what?"

"A divorce," Rachel repeated calmly, much more cool and collected than she had been earlier. "They weren't happy with each other. My mom said that when they got married, she didn't even fully love him."

"Wow."

"Yeah. I mean, can you imagine? Going through life with somebody you only _partly_ love? Missing out on having… everything? At this point I don't know whether to be angry about this, or to be relieved to know that all of my suspicions over the years weren't just me making things up."

Monica stayed silent, not entirely sure how to reply. She was still trying to process the fact that Sandra and Leonard were planning on getting a divorce, something that would've altered the whole dynamic of the Green family. She'd witnessed a few of their squabbles over the years, but had never thought it would result in this.

And marrying somebody you had doubts about? Another thing Monica found hard to even imagine doing. Lately, she'd been envisioning her own wedding, just a day-dream during class, or something playing in the back of her brain as she wrote out recipes for new dishes she had created, or a little scene in her mind's eye while she cooked at the restaurant she worked at part-time. And though _many_ different parts of the wedding fantasy changed each time, one thing always stayed the same.

Chandler was always the groom.

She and Chandler had been dating for well over a year, a surprising feat for a girl in her last year of college and a guy who'd just graduated. Not to mention, their seemingly polar-opposite personalities, which to an outsider would seem like a big reason for a split between the two. However, it had ended up that they'd balanced each other off nicely; she'd get him to show a more mature and serious side of himself, and he would bring out her joking, fun self more often.

But it was too soon for marriage, Monica had already decided. She wanted them both to be immersed in the real, adult world before making a commitment that large.

Sometimes she wondered if Chandler ever thought these things about her; if he imagined being married.

For some reason, the question she'd been wanting to ask Rachel for a few days popped into her mind, and Monica turned her head again so she could look at her best friend, who was now contemplating a ring on her right hand.

"Rach?"

Rachel turned her head so she and Monica were now looking at each other. "Yeah?"

"I've got a proposal for you," Monica said.

"Like marriage? Because I think Ross and Chandler might be a little upset by that," Rachel joked lightly.

"No," Monica shook her head, "Okay, see, remember how we decided to move into my grandmother's apartment after graduation?"

"Yeah," Rachel responded with interest, lifting her head and cradling it with her hand. "Are we not moving in anymore?"

"On the contrary," Monica replied with a smile. "Nana's decided to head down to Florida earlier than she'd planned, and she told me the apartment is ours whenever we decide to move in."

Rachel blinked a few times. "Really? We're going to have our own apartment?"

"Yes!" Monica shouted, grinning now.

They both got up from the bed and danced around the room for a minute, before Rachel paused. "The only downside is that we're going to be living across the hall from Joey and Chandler."

"_Downside_? I'm going to be living across the hall from my boyfriend!" Monica pointed out.

"Yeah, but you know they're going to come over all the time. I mean, no offense to them, but their apartment sort of sucks, and your grandmother's _rules_," Rachel said.

"So? You _know_ I love being the hostess!" Monica exclaimed. "So? When should we move in?"

"How about after Christmas? We can be in the apartment by the New Year!" Rachel said optimistically.

Monica kept smiling, but it slid off her face as she realized something. "Rach… we have practically no furniture."

Rachel stared at her friend for a moment, and then shrugged. "I guess I know what I'm asking for for Christmas this year."

Chuckling slightly, Monica glanced back at Rachel as they exited the bedroom and joined Ross on the couch. She was glad to see that the crazy news from Sandra hadn't affected her friend long-term. Monica knew that Rachel was far from okay, but for right now, the smile plastered on her best friend's face was enough convincing that she'd be fine.

**XXX**

**A/N II**: I wanted the "I love you"'s to be altered from the show, because their dynamic in this AU is different from the one on the show.


	17. Realities

**Disclaimer**: Nope.

**A/N**: Delays suck, I know, and I'm sorry but my next update is not going to be a loooong time. School just started and everything has just piled up all at once and I'm really going to have zero time to write for quitea while. I appreciate those who have stuck with me through my zany update-schedule and have so kindly reviewed.

Warning: mushy-ish ending.

**XXX**

Three days later, the gang of six came together at Joey and Chandler's apartment on the night of Christmas Eve. Joey had finally gotten his way, and the two roommates had bought a small tree that only took up a corner of the apartment near the door to Chandler's bedroom (the downside was that Chandler could barely get into his room). Since no one's schedule had permitted the six to be together at one time, each person had added a few new decorations to the tree every time they were visiting their friends.

"Okay, so, for the top of the tree: Angel? Or star?" Chandler asked the group as he held up in one hand a doll-like angel, and in the other a plastic yellow star.

"Star," Phoebe said immediately, looking up from her examination of a homemade ornament. "The angel will just stare at us with those big, black eyes of hers."

"The star?" Joey whined as he searched the radio for some Christmas tunes. "But when I was growing up we _always_ had an angel!"

"Phoebe's right, that angel _is_ sort of creepy," Monica interjected, taking the small figure from her boyfriend and looking it over. "Where did you guys get it?"

"My Dad sent it," Chandler said. "If you look closely, you can tell that it's actually a drag queen."

Rachel and Ross both moved forward so they could stare at the angel over Monica's shoulders. After a moment, all three made noises of recognition.

"Let's use the star," Ross advised as Joey pouted by the radio, and Chandler placed the plastic star on top of the tree while Phoebe hung the ornament she'd been looking at on one of the branches.

"The last ornament is on!" she exclaimed to the other five.

"Hey, there we go," Joey said to himself as he landed on a radio station that had someone singing 'Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire'. He stood and walked over to the rest of the group, who were all admiring the tree.

"It looks nice," Rachel said softly.

"Aren't you glad we got a tree now?" Joey asked Chandler with a smile.

"Yeah, I guess," Chandler admitted. "But getting the damn thing up two flights of stairs was a bitch."

"Chandler, you didn't even help us carry it!" Monica said. "You 'directed' us up the stairs!"

Chandler sent his girlfriend a winning smile, which she swatted away with an eye roll.

"Hey, didn't you say you had an announcement or something to make?" Ross asked his sister.

"Oh! Yeah," Monica said, exchanging glances with Rachel, who nodded subtly. "Actually, Rachel and I have some pretty big news."

"Are you two running away together?" Phoebe questioned immediately.

"No."

"But if you two _were_ to run away together," Joey started with a smirk, "What might you guys do after you've left?"

Rachel and Monica stared at their friend, before Rachel shook her head. "Anyways, uh… Mon and I are moving in across the hall."

"Well, we know _that_," Phoebe said with a laugh. "Seriously, what's the news?"

"No, we're moving in sooner than after graduation," Monica clarified.

"Oh? When?" Chandler asked.

"The 26th."

"Whoa, that's like… really soon!" Joey said.

"We were hoping you guys would help us start moving our stuff out of the dorm," Rachel admitted.

Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe all agreed readily and went about admiring the tree and drinking eggnog.

Ross, however, was looking at his sister and girlfriend with a puzzled expression. "When did you guys decide this?"

"A few days ago," Monica answered.

"And, uh, what are you doing about housing at school? I mean, they're expecting you to pay for another whole semester for your dorm."

"Yeah, we already talked to the head of the housing department," Rachel said. "We're not going to be able to get out of paying everything, since it's so late in the year, but they're already planning on giving our dorm to some exchange kids."

Ross was still frowning. "Why didn't you tell us sooner?"

"Ross, what's the issue? You should be happy for us!" Monica said, giving her brother a punch on the arm before joining the other three.

"Are you… mad?" Rachel asked softly, stepping closer to her boyfriend and widening her eyes in that way that she knew he couldn't resist.

"No," Ross finally said. "Just sort of surprised. I mean, you guys moving into Nana's apartment before you've graduated… the fact that this building is _much_ farther away from my apartment than your dorm…"

Rachel smiled lightly. "Well, you know, there are two bedrooms in your grandmother's apartment," she reminded him coyly.

"You don't say," Ross said charmingly, wrapping an arm around her waist. "We may just have to start trading off where we stay overnight…"

"Fine by me," Rachel interjected in a low voice, and they moved in for a kiss. As their lips were about to meet, Joey rushed over to them and yelled excitedly, "Eight minutes till Christmas!", ruining the moment.

"Are all the gifts under the tree?" Monica asked the room.

"Yes. Oh, wait, no!" Phoebe said desperately, and rushed over to her purse that was across the apartment. She put her hand in it and fished around, finally coming up with a newspaper-wrapped present. "Okay, we're good," she affirmed once the gift was under the tree.

"And… let the countdown begin!" Chandler shouted, his eyes on his watch.

"Ten… nine… eight… seven," everyone counted out loud, "… six… five… four… three… two… one… Merry Christmas!"

They had barely gotten through the word 'Christmas' before Joey shouted, "Let's open the presents!"

Rachel smiled to herself as everyone took a seat around the coffee table that was placed in between the TV and armchairs. She plopped down onto the floor and rested herself against Ross' legs, the owner of said legs having claimed an armchair for himself. She blushed slightly as his hands involuntarily made their way to her hair, playing with the strands in the same familiar way he did every time they sat like this.

As Joey unwrapped the first gift of Christmas '91 (which, coincidentally, was the newspaper-wrapped one Phoebe had nearly forgotten), Ross leaned forward in the chair and whispered, "Do you want to sit up here with me? The floor is uncomfortable."

Rachel leaned her head back so she could partially see his face above hers. "I'm perfectly comfortable where I am," she said contently, watching Joey wave around a Knicks t-shirt.

She idly wondered what her mother was doing at that moment in that big, empty house on Long Island. Probably sleeping.

She wondered what Jill and Amy were doing; if they were also home for the holidays. Probably not.

Rachel gazed at the people in front of her, and realized quite suddenly, that this was her new family. When she was with them, it didn't matter that her parents hadn't had a happy marriage, that her sisters didn't give a crap about anyone but themselves, that she herself had only narrowly escaped the same future as her mother before her with help from Monica and Ross. All they wanted was her, Rachel Karen Green, just as she was.

She couldn't have asked for anything more.

**XXX**

As luck would have it, the gang had taken the hint from Monica and Rachel that they wanted furniture for Christmas, and Chandler, Joey, Phoebe and Ross had all pitched in some money and had bought the two a white couch and matching armchair, telling them that the furniture also counted as both their birthday presents. (Ross, however, had also given Rachel a necklace on the sly, and Monica had later confided in her best friend that Chandler had also given her jewelry, though not the type both girls daydreamed over that involved the words, 'Will you marry me?'.) The two women had felt slightly guilty when their friends had told them they'd had to return their original gifts last minute, but that springing for really comfortable furniture just meant they'd have to go to their apartment more often.

The day after Christmas, after dropping Nana off at the airport for her flight to Florida, Ross and Monica had returned to the building to find Rachel standing inside the sparse apartment, spinning around slowly in the center of the room with her arms stretched out.

"Practicing your ballet?" Monica asked cheekily as she and Ross deposited their coats on the coat hanger beside the door.

"I can't believe this is our new home," Rachel said in awe. "And that we have our own bedrooms!"

"I know!" Monica said happily. "Oh, by the way, I call the one on the left."

"Why do you get that one?" Rachel asked, placing her hands on her hips.

"Uh, because I cared enough to call it?"

"…Fine. Eh, I wanted the right one anyway."

Monica sighed as she walked over to the small table her grandmother had left her in the middle of the kitchen area, where two boxes rested. "Just the beginning," she said tiredly. "We've got a lot to move. At least we don't have to pay for two new bed frames."

"Yeah, thank God for storage facilities and the fact that my mother has about five different frames she'll never use," Rachel said.

"Are you ever gonna tell her you took them?" Ross asked.

"Like she'll notice. She hasn't stepped foot in the thing since…" Rachel stared into space. "Never, actually."

"Too bad they're not coming until tomorrow," Monica sighed. She lifted a yellow picture frame up out of one of the boxes. "Hey, check this out."

"Wow! Where's that from?" Rachel questioned as she and Ross stepped closer to inspect.

"It was in one of the boxes Nana left for us." Monica smiled as she examined it, and then scanned the apartment walls for a spot for it, before her eyes rested on the door. She looked back and forth from the frame in her hand to the door for a time, until she said, "I've got an idea."

"Finally. Here I thought college was a waste on your mind," Ross quipped.

"We can put the picture frame around the peep hole!"

"Oh!" Rachel gushed, clapping her hands. "That's so artsy! I love it!"

"We'll do that last," Monica suggested. "Sort of like a… ceremonial thing."

The apartment door flew open and Phoebe stepped inside. "Make way, people! Couch coming through!"

Following her words, Chandler and Joey lugged in the white couch, whacking Ross in the back with it as they set it down in the area Monica had earlier specified.

"Thanks for all the help," Chandler panted, wrapping an arm around his girlfriend's shoulders and resting his weight against her.

"Dude, all you did was carry it across the hallway," Ross reminded him.

Joey frowned. "It's a big hallway! And Pheebs decided to tell a knock-knock joke before she opened the door!"

"Oh, come on, it was a funny joke!" Phoebe defended.

"I'll help with the chair," Ross volunteered, and the three guys exited the apartment to go across the hall.

"So, have you decided who gets which bedroom yet?" Phoebe asked.

"I'm getting the one on the left," Monica replied.

"I'm on the right," Rachel added.

Phoebe nodded. "Yeah, I see that," she said positively.

After exchanging an "Oooookay" look with Monica, Rachel sighed and fell onto the couch. "This couch is so _comfortable_."

"Yeah, we tested a lot of them out before we picked it," Phoebe said, sitting beside her.

Monica sat on Phoebe's right side. "I think the TV should go there, against the wall." She indicated the spot directly across from where the couch was. "It'll be evenly between the bedroom doors."

"Chair coming through!" Joey announced as the guys entered the apartment again, all three hefting the white armchair at an awkward angle. Monica specified the spot where it should go, and the three men placed it there.

"You know, it would've been more help if you had brought the _couch_ in with us," Chandler pointed out to Ross.

"So what do you guys think about having a New Years party?" Rachel asked as the guys sat down with them.

"Just the six of us?" Joey asked.

"No, we'd invite some other friends," Monica said.

Chandler stared at her. "We have _other _friends?" he questioned mock-seriously.

"Sounds good," Ross agreed. "But will the apartment be all ready by then?"

"Well, we're getting some chairs from Mom and Dad's tomorrow," Monica said, "though they're mismatched, but they're free so I can't complain. We're getting bed frames, and we've both got bedroom stuff and a TV with a stand from the dorm room. Nana left us an oven, stove, and refrigerator…"

"We've got just about everything," Rachel nodded.

"Mattresses," Phoebe said suddenly. Everyone stared at her. "You guys don't have mattresses."

Monica and Rachel turned to each other. "Crap!" Rachel shouted, as Monica yelled, "Shoot!"

"Those things cost a fortune!" Rachel whined.

"Nobody has two spare mattresses lying around, do they?" Monica asked the rest of the group, who shook their heads in the negative. "Guess we'll have to… sleep on the couch and armchair until we can afford mattresses."

Rachel sighed to herself. She and Monica had honestly gone over everything, but somehow they had forgotten mattresses! She considered where she could get two. Asking her mother was out of the question, and she was already taking those bed frames…

An idea struck her. "I know how we can get them. Two _new_ ones," she added.

"How?"

"The money my dad left me!" Rachel explained. "I definitely have enough to pay for two mattresses."

"But… Rachel, that's not fair… I mean, I really should buy my own-"

"No. You're letting me move in with you, this is my gift to you," Rachel decided firmly. She caught Ross's eye. He was sending her a smile that she knew meant he was proud of her.

"All right," Monica said. "So we have everything."

"Let's talk party," Joey said. "Now, I was thinking Monica could make the food, Phoebe could bring plates and cups, I can supply hot girls…"

**XXX**

By New Years Eve Monica and Rachel were all moved into apartment twenty. The party they threw was a hit, with guests ranging from classmates at NYU to a few of Joey's actor-friends to some of Phoebe's masseuse clients to Ross's buddies at the museum and the two people who Chandler could stand from his office. 1992 rang in with style, and the year seemed to look even brighter than the one before.

The rest of the winter moved by slowly as Rachel and Monica threw themselves into their work, putting extra effort into their very last semester of college as the rest of the group kept working. As March came to a close, Jack and Judy Geller's wedding anniversary approached rapidly.

The couple had decided that for their anniversary they wanted to have dinner with their two children- and their two children's significant others.

What seemed to be for the first time, Rachel found that she and Chandler had something in common: both were terribly nervous about spending an evening with Ross and Monica's parents.

Rachel knew this was silly; Jack and Judy were like second parents to her. She'd known them for as long as she'd known Monica, which by now seemed like a lifetime. She knew it was downright crazy for her to be worried over a simple dinner-and-dessert with her boyfriend's parents, but she couldn't help it; this was the first time she would be spending longer than five minutes with Judy and Jack since she and Ross had gotten together.

Chandler seemed equally as nervous as Rachel, which was quite understandable. Neither elder Geller had favored him ever since Ross had brought him home for Thanksgiving during freshman year. He'd also somehow managed to go well over a year without coming in real contact with Jack or Judy, but it seemed the days of avoidance were over.

"Seriously, Rachel, just pick a dress," Monica commanded as she attempted to hook up a second-hand VCR she'd gotten from Joey (who had gotten it from his parents) to the TV in the living room of the apartment.

Rachel exited her bedroom, holding up two dresses, which looked nearly entirely similar except for the color. "Okay, you decide then. Blue? Or red?"

Monica glanced over at her choices. "Um… blue."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive. It's my mom's favorite color," Monica responded in a placating tone. "Ha ha! I got the VCR to work!" she exclaimed a moment later as the video she had popped in began to play.

"Good for you," Rachel called out from her room.

Monica glared at the door. "You'll appreciate it more when you're less stressed out." She was beginning to find the whole situation funny; it was just dinner with her parents, why was her friend so nervous?

Rachel reappeared in the living room, this time wearing the blue dress with a little jacket over it, her purse swinging wildly around her arm. "Okay, okay, shoes, shoes…" she muttered to herself, lurching forward to the pile of shoes she'd thrown from her bedroom earlier in annoyance.

"You really need to calm down," Monica pointed out as Rachel dug like a woman on a mission through the shoe pile. "What are you worried about?"

"Um… dinner with your parents?" Rachel responded in a 'duh' tone as she stood upright again, a pair of shoes in hand.

"You've had dinner with my parents. _Multiple_ times, I might add. I mean, they both like you more than me already, what's there to worry about?"

Rachel placed her hands on her hips after slipping her feet into the black heels she'd chosen to wear. "I know, but they liked the _old_ me. The Rachel: Monica and Ross's Best Friend. Now I'm seeing them as Rachel: Ross's Serious Girlfriend. They've seen me go through so many failed relationships… I just don't want them to doubt Ross and I."

Monica shook her head. "Rach, they wanted you guys to get together. They were thrilled when they found out. Really, I promise. My mom even called after Ross told her and went on and on for like, forty minutes about how good-looking your children will be."

The thought of children with Ross wasn't as tremendously scary as expected, but Rachel decided she'd dwell on that later when she wasn't so busy freaking out.

Chandler and Ross entered the apartment just a few minutes later, and the four left for Long Island in Rachel's car. The ride over was nearly silent, each passenger lost in their own thoughts.

It was completely dark out by the time they reached the Geller's home (Rachel purposely checked her make-up in a small compact from her purse as they passed by the Green's house), and Jack and Judy both appeared at the door to enthusiastically welcome their guests inside.

"Your mother has been cooking up a storm!" Jack informed his two children and their dates as everyone headed into the living room for a cocktail. "We were so glad all four of you kids could come!"

"Well, thank you for having us, sir," Chandler responded immediately as he sat down on the couch beside Monica. "It was so nice of you to invite all four of us over for dinner. You know, living on your own, you don't get many home-cooked meals anymore, and Mrs. Geller's are absolutely-"

"Well, you don't have to suck up," Jack cut in with a smile, and the other three laughed at Chandler's embarrassed expression.

"Sorry," he said in a small voice, and retreated further into the couch as Monica patted his knee gently.

"So, Rachel, what is new with you?" Jack asked as he sat with a drink in an armchair. "We haven't seen your mother all that much lately."

Rachel froze momentarily as she was handing Chandler and Monica their drinks as Ross poured something for himself and Rachel. She down on the couch slowly. "Oh, um, she's… fine."

"Well that's a relief," Jack said pleasantly as he sipped his drink. "The gossip going around- it's been getting worse every day!"

Resisting the urge to ask what exactly the gossip entailed, Rachel just nodded. "Yes, she's… well, she's fine," she repeated again.

"Dad, um, how's Nana?" Ross quickly asked, smoothly taking the heat off of his girlfriend.

Jack discussed their grandmother for quite a while, seeming to be in a very chatty mood, until Judy announced that dinner was nearly ready and enlisted Monica and Rachel to help her finish up and bring the food to the table.

When Judy wasn't looking, Monica observed the food and added a few ingredients she thought things needed. Rachel hid a smile as she watched her friend do this.

"So, only a few months left until you're finished with school!" Judy said as she moved the peas and carrots into separate serving dishes. "Rachel, dear, do you have any plans for after graduation?"

"Oh, well, um, I might be getting an internship with Bloomingdales," Rachel answered, hoping Ross's mother found this appropriate.

"That's lovely," Judy responded, and Rachel sighed with relief. The older woman eyed the student. "You seem nervous, dear, is something wrong?"

"Rachel's been worrying about this dinner for a while," Monica said absently as she chopped up lettuce for the salad. Rachel glared at her roommate.

Judy, however, didn't seem to find this odd in the slightest. She merely let out a short laugh and waved a hand. "Dear, there's nothing to worry about," she assured.

Rachel felt her cheeks grow hotter than ever before and silently decided that she'd get revenge on Monica later. "I, um… well, I was just… well, I haven't really seen you guys since I started dating Ross… and…"

"You were worried we suddenly wouldn't like you anymore?" Judy asked knowingly. At Rachel's nod, she shook her head, bemused. "Rachel, darling, you can rest easy. Jack and I have always liked you, that isn't going to change just because you're finally dating our son. Besides, I know a thing or two about dealing with cruel parents."

Monica was eyeing her mother. "Hey, Mom, you seem to be speaking from experience. Care to share?"

Judy set down the dish she was lifting and looked at the two young women in front of her. "Well, when I first began dating your father, his mother hated me."

"Really? But whenever she's come at holidays… you guys have always seemed to get along," Monica said.

"It's an act, dear," Judy said simply.

"So you and Grandma Geller have never actually liked each other?" Rachel asked, surprised. Using the name 'Grandma Geller' didn't even phase her now; she'd been to so many parties thrown by this family that she was practically an honorary member. And if things went well… maybe a _true_ member, last name and all… but it wasn't the time to consider that.

"Technically… no," Judy nodded. "But enough about the past. This evening is about all of us coming together."

"Oh, speaking of… Mom, could you and Dad please try to be a _little_ nicer to Chandler?" Monica requested with raised eyebrows. "He's my boyfriend, and Ross's best friend, and a really good guy… he's in no different a situation than Rachel here."

Rachel held up her hands and said, "Hey, don't drag me into this."

Judy sighed, but her eyes twinkled. "Yes, dear, I suppose we can be _civil_. Now help me carry all of this food out to the table."

Dinner passed by uneventfully for the most part, and Rachel found herself much more comfortable with the entire situation after Judy's reassurance in the kitchen. Both elder Geller's also eased off Chandler for the most part, and the young man had even been able to crack a few jokes without getting some sort of reprimand or odd look.

However, when dessert came, the uncomfortable subjects arose.

"How's that apartment doing? Still standing?" Jack asked, simple enough. "We know a few of the neighbors from over the years, and they'd let us know if you girls were throwing wild parties every night…"

"Uh, no, no wild parties," Monica said after sipping her coffee. "We've both been so busy with schoolwork…"

"How's your job hunt coming, dear?" Judy was looking at her daughter with a scrutinizing gaze, which Monica tried not to shy away from.

"Oh, well, I've got two interviews next month…"

"And Chandler, what is it you do?" Jack turned his attention to his daughter's boyfriend, who looked suddenly nervous.

Chandler cleared his throat awkwardly. "Oh, well, I, um… do data reconfiguration and statistical factoring."

Jack waited a moment before saying, "Are you sure that's a real thing?"

"Well, it's what I've been doing every day for a year, I'd hate to find out that it doesn't actually exist after all this time," Chandler quipped, but it fell flat at the table.

If that wasn't bad enough, Judy then broached upon the subject all four young people had avoided as much as possible. "You know who just got married, Monica? Paula Hines, the girl who used to live on the street? She was only a few years older than you…"

Rachel shifted in her seat as Monica replied, "Oh… that's nice…"

"Weddings are marvelous affairs, aren't they?" Judy asked the room. No one responded.

Jack obviously didn't notice how uncomfortable everyone was feeling, and added in, "You know, I want grandchildren one day!"

Judy looked at her husband. "Jack," she admonished lightly, and then said, "Though… a few of our friends have small grandchildren. They can be such a joy if they aren't terrors. Don't you think so, Ross?"

Ross blinked. "Oh, yeah, children are… great." His stomach was churning a bit as he prayed with all his might that his mother wouldn't single him out again on this subject, and he pushed his cake away from himself.

Not that he didn't want children in the future, but he couldn't believe his parents were discussing this in front of Rachel and Chandler. He had, of course, imagined what marrying and having a family with his girlfriend would be like, but they hadn't even discussed it _themselves _yet!

"You know, Monica's always wanted children," Jack stated. He then smirked at Chandler. "Not to sound too forward, but you better be up to the task, Chandler!"

Chandler blanched and also pushed his cake away from himself.

Rachel wanted to hide under the table, but decided against it. The rest of dessert passed with Judy and Jack dropping hints of marriage and children at every opportune moment, and only after they were out the door and getting into the car did she breathe a loud sigh of relief.

Monica was trying to pacify her boyfriend. "Chandler, I'm so sorry, they just… that's just how they are…"

"I half-expected one of them to shove a ring in my hand and tell me to ask you right there during dessert!"

Ross glanced over towards Rachel as he got into the driver's seat and she sat in the passenger's. "Look… I'm sorry."

"No, I had sort of been… expecting it," Rachel said. "I've known your parents long enough to prepare myself for something like that."

"But what they were mentioning… it was pretty awkward," Ross said.

"Yeah."

Turning out of the street, Ross began, "But maybe it wouldn't be too…" but he lost his nerve and trailed off quietly, leaving Rachel to stare at him and wonder what, exactly, he was thinking.

**XXX**

The springtime passed quickly as Monica and Rachel began preparing for finals and graduation. When finally May sprung upon them and school was suddenly done, Rachel found herself in the apartment with Ross, going over their plans for her graduation day.

"Ross, no, you don't have to take me somewhere fancy tomorrow night," Rachel insisted as she and Ross snuggled on the couch.

He shook his head and brushed a stray hair from her face. "No, it's my duty as your loving boyfriend to take you out so we can celebrate. I mean, you took me out for my graduation last year! I'm repaying you."

"Well, what about Monica and Chandler?" Rachel questioned as she disentangled from her boyfriend and stood.

"They're going away for the weekend, which, I might add, was my idea in the first place for us, but I have to work…" Ross stretched his hand out and Rachel placed her own hand in his. "Just let me do this for you."

Rachel smiled. "Fine," she said dramatically with a sigh, and bended over to kiss him quickly as there was a knock at the apartment door. "You're too good to me," she declared as she made her way over to the door.

"Yeah, I know. I think I may need to find a girl who doesn't expect as much," Ross shot back with a grin.

Shaking her head, Rachel called, "Hold on," to whoever was outside and quickly checked the peephole. The sight that met her eye made her take a step backwards. Bracing herself, she slowly twisted the knob and opened the door.

"Mother," she greeted coolly, as Ross whipped his head around to see Sandra standing in the doorway.

"Rachel," she countered, and the tension mounted. They stood in awkward silence for a long moment, staring each other down, before Sandra finally said with a small sigh, "Well, are you going to invite me in?"

Rachel waited a beat, quickly weighing her options. The angel on her shoulder ended up kicking the devil on the other shoulder's ass, and she stepped back to let her mother into her apartment. Ross was still sitting quietly, watching the scene unfold, his face neutral.

"Why'd you come, Mom?" The question was direct and to-the-point and so unlike her, but Rachel wasn't really in the mood for dodging motives and walking on eggshells. She'd had enough of that to last her for the rest of her lifetime.

Sandra seemed nervous as she retrieved a small box out of her pocketbook before placing it on the table and scanning the apartment. She turned to face her daughter once more and stated honestly, "I wanted to see you."

"Why?" Rachel asked tiredly, just wanting Sandra to leave so she could enjoy a nice evening in with her boyfriend.

"Well, we haven't spoken in over two months, and even then you were just calling to wish me a happy birthday and hung up quickly." Sandra's absently lifted the box off the table and fiddled with it in her hands. "I miss you."

Rachel felt something inside of her tighten at those words, and deep down she had to admit to herself that a part of her had missed her mother also. They'd been in this constant battle for so long she'd practically forgotten why it had even started.

But then it all came back to her: her parent's fighting, her mother ignoring her, her mother judging her, her mother not approving of her boyfriend, finding out about her parent's almost-divorce that hadn't happened because of her father's death…

"Well, you've got my attention now," Rachel finally said.

Sandra shook her head. "So this is how it's going to be from now on? This wall?"

"If I remember correctly, you're the one who established this 'wall' in the first place."

"And you were always so open to me, is that it? Rachel, you were never home! And when you were home, you were shut up in your room doing God knows what. Now you know your father and I were having problems-"

"Oh, yes, because we discussed these '_problems_' so often, right, Mom?" Rachel shot back, anger rising inside of her. "God, you and Dad pretended nothing was wrong whenever we were around! And most of the time you didn't even notice if we were there or not anyway!"

Ross stood at this point, looking back and forth between mother and daughter, an unsure expression on his face. "Rach, maybe I should go…" he started as he neared the door.

Before Rachel could respond, Sandra held up her hand to stop him. "No, Ross… don't leave. I actually wanted to say something to you."

Rachel laughed sarcastically and took a step closer to Ross. "Oh, so now you're seeking us out to make snide comments?"

"No," Sandra said with much more calm than people would normally have at this point. "No. I wanted to apologize."

This made Rachel stop. Her mother, apologize to Ross?

Ross seemed as stunned as his girlfriend. "Uh… huh?" he said slowly.

Sandra held herself up a bit more, squared her shoulders, and stuck her hand out towards the young man. "I'm sorry for how I treated you and spoke about you. I've known you and your family since you were too young to even walk, and I can tell you make my daughter happy."

Ross didn't know what to do for a moment, his mouth hanging open slightly as he stared at Sandra Green. He'd never heard this woman apologize to anyone. Ever. "Uh… I… accept?" He shook her hand firmly but when he let go, he was still confused.

Rachel had her head turned to the side and she was scrutinizing her mother seriously. "What brought on this change?" she asked skeptically, still not sure any of this was real. It all seemed too easy.

Sandra turned her eyes on her oldest daughter and once again started fiddling with the box in her hands. "Well, in the months we haven't been speaking, I've done some thinking."

"Thinking… about?"

"About everything. My life, past and present, you girls, _your_ lives. Not seeing you for so long has made me realize just how much I want to be a part of your life. It's made me see things from a different perspective. And I've come to the conclusion… that I admire you." Sandra was standing proudly, no hint of fear or nervousness or sadness or any sort of weakness evident. The words were said simply and held little emotion, and for a split second after she had finished Rachel was convinced this was some elaborate prank.

But no one popped out from behind a door with a camera, and so Rachel prodded further. "You admire me?"

"Yes."

Ross was feeling beyond out of place by now, but to slip out of the apartment would involve somehow maneuvering past Rachel, and she'd probably notice and get mad at him or something for 'abandoning' her at her 'time of need'. He silently prayed they would finish up this lovely reunion soon, because he also sort of had to go to the bathroom, and the museum was expecting a call from him about not going in tomorrow…

"Why do you… admire me?" Rachel asked slowly, milking this for all it was worth. Even though she didn't outwardly seem it, Rachel knew her mother was the most vulnerable she'd ever seen her since Leonard had passed away.

Sandra took her time responding. "You didn't take the easy way out," she said simply. "Your sisters, though how dearly I love them, have always taken advantage of having anything they wanted within reach. And, for a time, you did also… but then something changed. _You_ changed. You turned your back on your easy life and went to college independently, and now you're living on your own and are going to get a job to support yourself. Lord knows I haven't worked a day in my life; I just went from the security of my parents' home to your father. I had always expected you girls to follow my example."

Rachel softened, feeling something like… sadness? at the life her mother had led thus far. "But I don't want to follow your example."

"I know you don't. And that's why I admire you," Sandra said. "Here I was, pushing you towards the only thing I knew how to do: become the wife of a successful man. But over these past few months… well, I'm beginning to see all the points you've made. I _am _sorry, darling."

Feeling a bit misty, Rachel took a step towards her mother, and Sandra closed the small gap between them and before they knew it, they were locked in a tight hug as Ross looked on, still not sure what to do with himself.

"So am I still invited to your graduation?"

Rachel laughed softly and nodded as they pulled apart. "Yes, I'd be very happy if you'd come."

"I assume I'll be seeing you there also?" Sandra asked, turning her attention towards Ross.

Ross nodded with a smile as he glanced at Rachel. "You bet."

"Well, then… I'm glad we've gotten this out of the way," Sandra said business-like, adjusting her top and touching up her hair. However, she realized she was still holding the small box. "Oh! Dear, I almost forgot. This is for you."

She handed over the box to Rachel, who accepted eagerly, always one for gifts. Rachel opened the square package and gasped as she saw what was inside. "Oh, Mom, it's beautiful…" she gushed as she lifted out a gold necklace with a small diamond hanging from the center. Ross moved closer to get a better look.

"It's something of a family heirloom," Sandra informed her. "My mother gave it to me when I graduated from college, her mother gave it to her before she got married… it goes back quite a while. It isn't too flashy, but…"

"Why are you giving it to me?" Rachel questioned as she placed the necklace back in it's box.

Sandra's mouth twitched into a half-smile. "I knew you'd be the one to most appreciate its value."

"Thank you, Mom," Rachel said, and they hugged once more before Sandra reached for her purse and took a few steps for the door. "Where are you going now?"

"Well, now that I've given you that old necklace, I thought I'd take a page out of your book. I'm going to begin to experience… _life_," Sandra murmured, her voice low and tinted with excitement as her eyes danced in a way Rachel had never noticed before. It made her a little sad that her mother had had to wait all of this time to feel the way she now did.

"Good to see you, Ross! See you both tomorrow!" she called over her shoulder, and exited.

Ross and Rachel stood in a silence for a moment, both digesting what had just transpired. It had been unexpected, yes, but definitely not unpleasant.

"That was a productive visit," Ross said, breaking the quiet with a smile as he wrapped an arm around Rachel's waist.

She leaned into him and stared at the necklace. "I can hardly believe it just happened."

"Well if you ever question if it really happened or not, you can ask me. I'm a witness."

Rachel turned her face up so she could look into his eyes. "Thanks for not bolting."

Ross shrugged. "You'd do the same for me." Seeing Rachel's wistful expression, he tugged her waist a little and she was forced to follow him back to the couch. "So let's spend the night watching a movie and enjoying your final hours as a student before graduating, huh?"

"Sounds great," Rachel nodded, and they settled onto the couch.

And she just knew that at that moment her mother had found her world suddenly wide open, free to do anything, just as her own was. Sandra finally had the chance to explore and experiment and do things she'd never gotten to do before, all to find her real place in the world.

As she snuggled closer to Ross in an apartment she shared with her best friend, Rachel realized she was nearly one-hundred percent sure she'd found exactly where _she_ belonged.

**XXX**


End file.
